The ultimate luxury submarine yacht's for sale

On occasion, I play the lottery, and just last week actually "made" eight bucks. That was off of a couple of two-dollar tickets, so I guess I really "made" four bucks. But I don't play the lottery to win a measly four, or even eight, bucks. I play so that, for a couple of days, I can fantasize about winning BIG - and what I'd do with it. Then I forget to check the winning numbers for a couple of months and then - albeit rately - score a few bucks. 

Not that I'm so all-fired noble, but most of my big spender fantasizing revolves around splitting the pot with my family, and donating to worthy charities (and maybe worthy political candidates). In terms of spending on something, I think about getting a second home - on the Cape? on a lake? in Ireland? - and maybe buying Eileen Fisher clothing at full price, rather than scrounging around for discounts on last year's editions at T.J. Maxx. Maybe I'd start flying business class. But mostly I don't want to or need to acquire any more stuff than I already have.

Even in my wildest win-the-lottery fantasizing, it's never about winning one of those crazy billion dollar Powerball jackpots. 

Who wants or needs a billion dollars? Not I, for sure. But I guess if you ask billionaires, well, they want and need that kind of money. And I guess they don't have much of a problem figuring out what to spend it on. Or not. There are still Warren Buffets out there who live in very comfortable, perfectly nice, but non-crazy-posh digs like Buffet's home in Omaha. And who derive much of their satisfaction from their philanthropy.

But there are plenty who want to strut their $ stuff.

And so, since so many mega-billionaires are a little more spendy than The Sage of Omaha, we get the Bob Krafts and John Henrys who buy sports team. (Aside to John Henry: please and thank you sell the Red Sox.) We get Elon Musk with his million dollar McLaren. And Jeff Bezos has got that $500 million yacht anchored somewhere.

And now there's something new and shiny that the big bucksters can spend their big bucks on, and that's a submarine-yacht, the Migaloo M5, that costs $2 billion. 

The 541-foot-long luxury submersible is capable of going 820 feet underwater and staying submerged for four weeks. The vessel can accommodate 20 passengers and 40 crew members.

Guests can enjoy riding jet skis, kite surfing, paddleboarding, setting off in one of two six-person mini-submarines, or taking a ride on a helicopter. (Source: NY Post)

Mini-subs sound cool, but crew outnumbering passengers two-to-one sounds pretty excessive, oppressive even.  

But wait! There's more!

The Migaloo M5 also boasts space for two pools, a jacuzzi, and a cafe.

For more formal meals, there’s a 36-seat dining room with glass walls that offer stunning views of marine life. 

Is it just me, or is the craziest feature the two pools thang? What's that about? Spare pool in case the kiddos pee in one of them? But I guess if you have $2 billion to spend on a submarine yacht - and, btw, that $2 billion is the floor price: add-ons extra - more is always better. 

Even having read about it, I truly cannot imagine this vessel for the vainglorious. The only submarine I've ever been on is the captured German WWII U-Boat on exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. This was 60 years ago, and what I remember is that it was really tight quarters. That and the fact that the sheets in the neatly made up crew berths were blue and white checked. A decade later, at Dachau, I was struck by the blue and white checked sheets in the prettified prisoner barracks there. 

The idea of a submarine fitted out with two swimming pools? Not to mention a luxury dining room? Etc? Beyond imagining, beyond belief!

And even though the Migaloo M5 is the offering of an Austrian company, I bet there's not a blue checked sheet anywhere onboard - unless it's handcrafted linen with a thread count of 10,000. (As an aside: isn't Austria landlocked?)

Anyway, $2 billion for a boat is crazy cra. There are "only" a couple of thousand billionaires out there. And some of them are single-digit billionaires, while others are fakers like DJT. So there's a pretty small market of folks who can actually afford the Migaloo M5. 

And the paucity of targets is reflected in the fact that, although the Migaloo M5 has been available for a few years now, it's still on the market. 

One of the problems is that Russian oligarchs are a big target for pricey items like the Migaloo M5, and they've more or less submerged since the war in Ukriaine. 

Good luck finding a buyer for the ultimate luxury submarine yacht. What an astounding idiotic bit of luxe.