Python Hunter? Python Hunter? That's really a job?

There are two members of the animal kingdom that I'm not especially fond of. That would be rats and snakes.

Rats, well, ugh. Just ugh.

And snakes? Let's just say that while I'm grateful to St. Patrick for driving the snakes out of Ireland, I wish he'd made it to the New World and ditto'd his magic here. 

Fortunately, I don't see a lot of snakes in these parts.

Oh, I saw plenty of garter snakes growing up. And one time, up in Maine, I got way too close to a black racer, which is way too long for comfort, even though they don't come equipped with poisonous venom, and they don't generally bite humans. (Props to black racers, however: they do eat rats.)

But snakes are definitely not my thing.

Which is another reason to avoid warm, swampy climes like Florida, which is loaded with snakes.

One snake they're loaded with is Burmese pythons, which - unlike the black racer - can be nasty to humans. You could even find yourself swallowed whole and crushed while making your way down the reptile's alimentary canal. What a way to go! (I think I'd rather be attacked by rats.)

Just like so many of the state's citizens, who are blow-ins from Northern states, the Burmese pythons aren't native to Florida. They were imported from Asia, and dumped into Florida waterways when they got too big to keep as pets. (They can grow to 16 feet+.) Dumped into the Florida waterways, the pythons found a way to survive and, over the years, they got a foothold - if footless snakes can get a foothold anywhere - in places like the Everglades. Where these nonnatives have done a lot of harm.

While the federal and state government have spent billions of dollars to restore the Everglades, pythons have decimated native birds, rabbits, and deer since they were documented as an established population in 2000. (Source: Boston Globe)

And so the state of Florida is going after those nasty old pythons. 

They hold annual python hunts, which attracts both amateurs and professionals:

This year’s Python Challenge drew 1,035 hunters and netted 209 pythons. The winner caught 20 snakes and received $10,000; [Amy] Siewe won a prize for catching a python that measured 10 feet, 9 inches.

And throughout the year, the state hire pros. 

State agencies pay about 100 contractors to keep hunting throughout the year, giving them access to levees that are closer to the human-made canals running through the Everglades — closer to the snakes. Since 2000, more than 19,000 pythons have been removed from the Florida outdoors, a little more than two-thirds of those by contracted “python removal agents,” according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

"Python removal agents?" I'm sure there are worse jobs, but none of them are leaping to mind at the moment. 

They couldn't pay me enough become a python hunter. 

And they wouldn't even if they could.

The program, which began in 2017, is not especially lucrative, paying up to $18 an hour, plus $50 per foot for the first 4 feet of snake and $25 for each subsequent foot. Remove a python nest? $200.

I don't care what the bonus is. $18 an hour??? Minimum wage in Massachusetts is $15/hour - increasing to $16 in 2024.  

And not that working fast food, or as a home health aide, or as a Walmart greater, is an easy job, any of these jobs has to be a ton easier than hunting pythons. After all, it can take up to 12 hours to catch one. A lot more daunting a task than getting a shopping cart for a Walmart shopper. 

But for some folks, it's a dream job.

Amy Siewe used to sell real estate in Indiana. Now she's a hunter, guide, and trainer. Siewe and her fellow pythonesers 

...have created a cottage industry around an invasive species that has been so successful at adapting to Florida that it appears here to stay, despite years of efforts to eliminate it.

Part of Siewe's contribution to the python cottage industry is being a maker. She skins the pythons she captures, has them dyed, and turns them into "python-leather products, including Apple Watch bands." And sometimes, Siewe is a first-responder:

In July, she helped pull a record 19-foot python off the torso of a college student who was hunting with his cousin.

 If that doesn't give you the willies...

Python hunting may be a job, but it's sure on my No Me's Need Apply list. Even if I were to find myself in Florida and needed work, I'd rather be a cashier at Publix.