Talk about FAFO

There's even a name for them. Tourons of Yellowstone. And they have their own Insta and FB accounts.

Of course, the people posting aren't the tourons themselves.

It's the folks who spot these maroons and make them famous on social media.

The tourons are the folks who ignore the warnings and go play with the bear cubs. Pet the bison. Take a selfie with an elk. Step off the boardwalk to get up close and personal with a hot spring.

Deaths are surprisingly rare, considering the dangers of the wilds. In Yellowstone, only twenty or so tourists have died in the 151 years of the park's existence. But last year a young man was gored by a bison and died. (Happy 150th Anniversary, Yellowstone!) And a few years back another guy fell in a hot spring and dissolved. (I don't know which would be a worse fate.)

The latest nitwit to ignore all the warnings was a woman who just couldn't resist dipping her hand in the scalding, 175-degree waters of Silex Springs. She took off screaming about how hot the water was. 

There are hot springs you can bathe in. You can take the waters in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Or Budapest. Etc. Where the waters are a warm but temperate 100-ish. 

One second in water that's 155 degrees Fahrenheit will get you a scalding burn after one second. So, 175 degrees = worse.

Getting scalded is no fun.

When I was waitressing at Durgin-Park, a waitress pellmelling into the kitchen going the wrong way collided with me when I was carrying a bunch of cups containing scalding hot coffee. I can't remember how many cups I was holding, but at Durgin our parlor trip was carrying four cups in one hand, two cups piled on two cups, and another two cups (one on one) balanced on your wrist. The real pros could carrying another couple cups o' joe in their other hand, but I needed my other hand to take the cups off my wrist and put them down. 

At the time of this entirely avoidable accident - thanks, Flo - I was probably carrying three cups, as I only ever did the six cups at a time in practice sessions, never when actually working.

In any case, the scald was pretty awful. I wrapped my arm in ice and towels, but yowza, it hurt. Was it a second degree burn or just a first? Who knows. It's not as if I was going to seek medical assistance. Anyway, it was exceedingly painful. I missed a couple of days work (uncompensated, of course), and I remember that when I was trying to sleep, even the touch of the sheet on my scalded skin made my head pop off.

Back at Yellowstone:

An unidentified father-daughter duo forwent safety standards and walked around the boardwalk that sectioned off parkgoers from boiling hot Silex Spring in the Fountain Point Pot Area of the park. Hot springs, on average, reach around 175 degrees Fahrenheit in the National Park.

Cameraman Gary Mackenzie said he warned the duo to stay on the boardwalk, but the father reportedly replied: 'Whatever, man.'

'So, I hit record,' Mackenzie said. (Source: Daily Mail)

Mackenzie wasn't the only one warning daddy and daughter dearest. 

...A woman tells Mackenzie off-camera that the woman will 'regret' the decision as she clutched her dad's hand and leaned toward the spring.

After she dips her hand briefly into the crystal blue water, she quickly leans backward and scrambles to her feet, running away, screaming: 'It's hot! It's very hot!' 

Her cries of pain can be heard as she clutches her hand to her stomach and walks back onto the boardwalk.

Aren't parents supposed to protect their kids from harm, and not abet them in their stupidity? I guess that at least he kept her from falling in and dissolving. As the father-of-the-year said, "Whatever, man."

It could have been worse.

Last year - the 150th anni and the year of the bison gore - "a foot in a shoe was found floating in a hot spring," Yellowstone's Abyss Pool. Guess that beats a full body dissolve. Maybe.

I've been to a number of national parks, including Yellowstone, and they're magnificent. And they're also dangerous. 

At one park, I remember a winding perilous road posted for 5 MPH. That was a heart in throat drive.

Then there were a couple of accidentally close encounters with bears. If you haven't slept in a Karman Ghia after you spot a couple of cubs playing in the well of your tent, you haven't lived.

Ah, wilderness. 

But - with the exception of a dumb, dangerous, and colossally ill-advised hike up Mount Washington I was totally unprepared for - I pretty much heeded the warning signs and listened to the rangers advice. 

So who among us can honestly say that at some point or another they haven't done something incredibly dumb, dangerous, and colossally ill-advised at some point in their life? 

But putting your hand intentionally in scalding water? Talk about FAFO.