The point of no return

Many, many, many years ago, I bought a dress, a work-ish dress, in Filene's Basement. 

It wasn't a great find, no super markdown, no prestige label. But I liked it. It was a purple/blue madras shirtwaist, and I'm sure I was drawn to it was because madras and shirtwaist were an "it" look when I was in high school. 

I found it on a flying trip through the B, something I did pretty frequently back in the day. A grab and go experience. Find a find, check the price, grab 'n go.

Anyway, a few days later, when I went to put the dress on, I realized that it smelled. Of body odor. So, it was ABW - already been worn. Yuck!

I did try to wash it, but, but, but...

I never ended up wearing it but, instead, tossed it - absent he BO smell - into the donation bag. I hope someone got some use out of it. Which would make two people: the person who got it as a donation, and the original owner - the non-deodorant-wearing byotch who wore it, decided she didn't like it, and went to the Basement and got her money back. 

What I got out of it: give the armpits of clothing before buying it. Not that I actually do it, mind you, but I did in the Basement for a good long while.

(This isn't at all what the plaid was of that infamous Basement dress, but in looking through pics of madras, I came across this. When I was in high school I had a skirt that was very similar to this plaid. I wore it with sleeveless navy nylon shell. Way cool! I forgot how much I loved madras...)

Given this brief yet memorable experience, I read with interest a story that I came across about people who regularly return pricey outfits (not $20 marked-down madras dresses) once they wear said pricey outfit to an event. Or just pose for in it on Instagram.

The tea was spilled on Tik Tok by someone who works at Saks Fifth. 

In a video with more than 1.7 million views as of Friday morning, TikTok user Jordyn (@_jordynrich) shows herself at a computer pretending to process a refund.

“Pov: you come back to work & see someone returned the $3000 outfit they wore on Instagram,” she writes in the text overlaying the video.

According to the Saks Fifth Avenue website, “Returned items must be presented in the same condition as when they were received: unworn, salable, undamaged, unaltered, with original tags and packaging (if applicable), and with proof of purchase. Returns that do not meet this policy will not be accepted and will be sent back to you.”

However, numerous commenters on TikTok claimed that this “unworn” clause isn’t always enforced. (Source: Daily Dot)

Commenters noted that this isn't just a Saks thang. Apparently Nordstrom shoppers borrowers are all in, too, turning those stores into "high end thrift stores." (Nordstrom has a more "lenient" return policy than Saks, which is why they're a frequent target of return abuse.)

It's one thing to return an item if it falls apart after a few wearings. Or something that you bought in haste and repented once you got it home. But IMH - and not especially fashionista - O, it's pretty shoddy to return something that you've worn IRL. It's just cruddy behavior. (Don't get me going on the Insta Queens who just want to look fancy for their "followers." Maybe they should brush up their Photoshop skills and just put their heads and backgrounds on whatever clothing item their heart and maybe their audience desires.)

My bottom line, old grouch that I am: if you can't afford something, DON'T BUY IT.  

And don't screw the salesperson who - in good faith - sold it to you. Because they're going to lose their commission once you return something. Big GRRRRR there. 

There are sites like Rent The Runway, where you can borrow clothing you just want/need to wear once and maybe can't afford. I looked at one of their plans: for $144 a month, you can borrow up to 10 items (2 shipments a month, 5 items at a time). There are other plans for more or less, but it seems  me that $144 a month is plenty reasonable and affordable - and would be very much worth it to the average Instagram-crazy ninny. And it would, of course, be reasonable and affordable to someone who wants to stay up with the latest, has occasions that they need fancy duds for, doesn't want items to gather dust in their closets. And - bonus! - is interested in sustainability, rather than just adding heaps of clothing to the world's growing nonbiodegradable slag heaps.

This returning goods you never had any intention of buying - but had every intention of wearing (at least to pose in it) - seems to me to be nothing more than quasi-legal shoplifting. 

There really should be a point of no return, and that's once you've worn something.