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Tuesday, September 27, 2022

This Ukulele Lady Will Be Steering Clear of Southwest Airline

I don't fly all that much, and never say never, but I really hope I never fly anywhere on Southwest Airlines. Their brand is all about having a swell, laugh-a-minute, hey gang, let's put on a show time on a flight. My idea of a good flight is one that's low key, quiet, uneventful. No flight attendants doing the limbo in the aisles. No rousing chorus of "Come Josephine in My Flying Machine." And certainly no ukulele lessons, as Southwest did recently on a flight from Long Beach to Hawaii.

We teamed up with @guitarcenter to surprise a flight full of Customers flying out of Long Beach with a ukulele and a lesson. By the time they arrived in Honolulu they were pros.

Lord deliver me from any and all obligatory fun. I ran out my string on feigning enthusiasm in high school, when every once in a while, the nuns would surprise us with a morale-building, school spirit enhancing, take a break event. And get royally pissed if we didn't show sufficient gratitude.

Yes, we were all happy to be sprung from our last classes on a Friday afternoon. But how gushing, how jumping for joy, were us cool 1960's girls going to be for the ultra treat of watching Mario Lanza in The Student Prince?

Maybe if it had been a Hard Day's Night. Or even some god-awful Elvis film like Blue Hawaii or King Creole. Not that the nuns would ever have shown us anything featuring the lip-curling, swivel-hipped Elvis playing footsie with a hottie in capri pants.

Of course, Mario Lanza was a Catholic, and I suppose he was all the wholesome rage when most of our nuns were girls.

But we weren't having any.

So when it comes to obligatory fun, include me out. Southwest Airlines is definitely on my Must Avoid list.

It's not that I have anything against the ukulele, mind you.

I grew up watching the "Big Brother" Bob Emery Small Fry Club, every day at noon on Channel 4. And Big Brother began ("The Grass Is Always Greener") and ended ("So Long, Small Fry") each show with a ukulele tune.

Plus my friend Jennie plays a mean ukulele.

So I get that ukuleles can be fun. I might even become a Ukulele Lady on my own some day.

Just not a plane flight.

It goes without saying that Twitter went into drag mode, including a tweet from Amtrak noting that they have a quiet car. Which, of course, set off a tweet-spree on the impossibility of getting to Hawaii on Amtrak.

Beside Amtrak, there were any number of Tweeters channeling their inner me:
"Me when my noise-cancelling headphones won't work against 200 ukuleles," wrote Twitter user AndysBrain.

"I am a big fan of Southwest, but this might have made me homicidal," wrote The Atlantic journalist Tom Nichols on Twitter.
"What if you didn't want to hear a cacophony of ukuleles? What if you just wanted to sit in silence for the entire flight and watch TV or read, like a regular flight?" questioned a Twitter user with the ID BenBaena.
Some other Twitter users pointed out how beginner ukulele players might not have been the best at playing the instrument.

"Trapped thousands of feet in the air with 180 people strumming ukuleles they don't know how to play sounds like the opposite of "fun"..." wrote Twitter user Eddie_NYC. (Source: Business Insider)

These are my kind of fellow travelers!

Southwest was quick to point out that the group lesson lasted only 20 minutes, so little time out of a 6 hour flight...

And the airline also claimed that the flyers all seemed to love it, posting pics of happy ukulelers. I guess the grumps were hiding in the lav. Which is, as the song says, where you'll find me if I'm ever on a Southwest flight giving free ukulele lessons.

If I want to listen to ukulele, I'll take Israel Kamakawiwoʻole any old day.

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