AITA? No, hon, you most assuredly are not

Here's what I know about Game of Thrones, all of it picked up through the culture ether:

• It was a fantasy multi-year cable series.
• Written by someone named George Martin.
  
• Acronym'd: GOT. 
• There were characters named Arya and Daenerys.
• One of the characters was a dwarf.
• Or was played by a dwarf.
• The ending was controversial.
• Lots of people lived and breathed it.

Among those who lived and breathed GOT is a couple who decided to have a GOT-themed wedding.

Now, I'm no authority on weddings, to put it mildly, but I find the idea of a themed wedding a bit strange. Sure, pick a color scheme for the bridesmaids' dresses and the groomsmen's ties, and extend the color scheme to the flowers. Maybe even have a light theme - a little bit country - and pick the theme up in the decorations (wildflowers in Mason jars). But a Disney-themed wedding, where all the bridesmaids are Disney princesses, and - I guess - the groomsmen are the seven dwarves - or whatever - INCLUDE ME OUT>

The GOT wedding was going to go beyond, say, a run of the mill Harry Potter wedding where everyone carries a wand and munches on Bertie Bott's Jelly Beans. Or where all the guests are instructed to wear Wizard of Oz or Great Gatsby costumes. 

The GOT wedding was a destination event, which means people were going to have to pay to get there. And it was going to be conducted in the High Valyrian, GOT's invented language. The ceremony was going to be in High Valyrian, and all the speeches and toasts at the reception were going to be in HV. 

And the bride was also sending guests links to Duolingo, where they could/should learn High Valyrian. 

The GOT wedding came to my attention by way of Twitter, where tweeters occasionally post items that come up on Reddit's AITA. AITA stands for Am I The Asshole, and folks write in to describe a situation and their response to it, and crowdsource an answer on whether they're being an asshole or not. 

If you're not familiar with AITA, which is generally outrageous and often quite funny, here's how they describe the forum:

[AITA] is a catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. (Source: Reddit/AITA)

The question posed to Reddit world was: AITA for not wanting to attend a Game of Thrones themed wedding? [Note: the questioner had initially said she'd attend, but that was before the bride let her know that she wanted the guest to learn High Valyrian.] 

The verdict: Not the A-hole

By looking through the responses, I learned a bit more about Game of Thrones. 

I was not surprised to learn that GOT was pretty violent. I had pretty much surmised that. But hadn't picked up on it being violent towards women. Which seems to make GOT a questionable theme for a wedding. 

I also learned that there have been plenty of GOT-themed weddings, and a lot of responders have been to them, if not had one.

At these, and at non-themed weddings where the bride and groom are fans nonetheless, the song "Rains of Castamere," a GOT theme song is commonly played as the processional/recessional. "Rains of Castamere", on the show, "was played right before a bunch of people were murdered at a wedding. It’s the signature song of the family that orchestrated the murdering."

Wow! What a swell party this is!

I'm all for special songs that mean something to the couple. First dance to "At Last"? Sweet!

But "Rains of Castamere," which, admittedly, I'd never heard of before I started looking through AITA? Sounds right up there with couples that use "Every Breath You Take" somewhere along the line.. Nothing says lovin' like a creepy stalker song. 

Sure, I can see how folks who are completely in to something - a show, a sport, an historical event, a common hobby - might want to have a theme wedding. And friends and family might enjoy getting into it, especially if they shared whatever the obsessions is. But the idea of schlepping to a destination wedding where I was asked to wear a costume and learn a language I'd never use again is just beyond my ken. 

So I'm with the majority: the poster asking the question is not an asshole. 

And whether I'm an a-hole or not - it's up for debate - I'm pretty sure I'm never going to watch Game of Thrones.