No, Tannenbaum!

The people in the house next door already have their tree and lights up. In the past, they've had a green tree - I have no idea whether it was real or artificial; I'm not on their Christmas party list (as far as I can tell these super-richies only live in the magnificent house next door a few weeks a year: around Christmas and around the 4th of July - but this year their tree's an obvious fake: all-white with white lights. Political statement? Aesthetic one? I'm not a big fan, but if you're going to have a white-on-white tree, as least you should go full 1960's and have a rotating color wheel trained on it.

I remember white Christmas trees from back in the day. Alumnium ones, too. 

Not that we ever had one. Nor did anyone I know. And I didn't know anyone with an artificial balsam or Douglas fir, either. 

But I did see white trees in mags like Life and Look, where they competed for page space with the likes of poodles dyed pink or blue.

If I had ever had a white Christmas tree, I would have wanted one like this. Because blue. Only I would have gone with ultra-sophisticated turquoise decorations. Which might have helped pep this poor woman up a bit. Her blue-blue-hoo-hoo Christmas motif is a bit of a downer. 

On closer look, those blue decoratoins could be blue roses, so maybe she was a fan of The Glass Menagerie, a play that even by Tennessee Williams standards is overwrought. If you had to read it in high school - as folks of a certain age most likely did - you will recall that the "gentleman caller" called Laura "blue roses", his mishearing of "pleurosis," which Laura suffered from. 

Circling back from my Cliff Notes diversion, artificial trees are more common these days. And apparently white ones are making a comeback. None of this fake greenery. Say it loud, say it proud: THIS TREE IS NOT REAL.

But for as long as I put up a tree, mine will be.

I have already ordered this year's edition, and it will be delivered - sight unseen - and set in the stand on December 8th. Last year, I went in person to this place - Evergreen in the Seaport District - picked out my tree, and had them deliver and stand it up. This year, forget the trip over there to examine trees. They had a good selection when I stopped by, and the tree was very fresh and didn't shed much at all. (In past year's I've had trees that must have been put on the truck from Canada on May Day, and were completely denuded by the time I took themdown.) But I'm not particularly fussy about what the tree looks like. I'm not one who examines dozens of trees to find the perfect one. As long as it's not Charlie Brown sparse, I'm fine. Bare spots can be filled with large hanging ornaments and/or twirled to the back. 

Besides, for what I paid for this Christmas tree (including delivery fee, put it in the stand fee, and tip for the tree putter-upper), they should also be decorating it. 

Not that I don't like decorating my tree. I do. I'll put on my Christmas albums and sing along while stringing my lights and hanging my bulbs. (Come to think of it, I'm guessing that only half of my tree decorations are bulbs, but you get the picture. Or will when I post a picture of my tree next month.)

Anyway, I ordered my tree late last week after seeing an article on this year's tree shortage.

No Tannenbaum? Oh, no!

After record-breaking demand for Christmas trees in 2020, local growers and retailers are gearing up for what they expect to be one of their busiest and most challenging seasons yet, as a tight labor market, rising wholesale prices, and a continuing shortage of trees create seasonal uncertainty. (Source: Boston Globe)

That record-breaking demand was the result of all those families sheltering in place who wanted to deck their halls, and their living rooms, and the kids' rooms. Because there was such heightened demand in 2020, "many local Christmas tree farms opted to cut and sell trees they normally would have left in the ground." Which seemed like a good idea at the time, but which has helped produce this year's scarcity situation: fewer trees, and younger - and thus punier.

Last year's tree blowout meant that tree lot folks had to order earlier for their 2021 supplies - as early as January, or just about the time that the 2020 trees were being picked up for their final ride to the woodchipper. Some tree providers couldn't afford the pre-pay being demanded. Others just felt that selling trees was becoming too much of a pain in the mistletoe and decided that they were no longer going to be selling trees. 

While a proximate cause of the tree shortage is the pandemic and last year's over-consumption, the root cause goes back further. To the Great Recession of 2008. 

“Many farms planted less baby trees 8 years ago because the demand was soft and therefore there are less mature trees to harvest now,” John Dzen Jr., owner of Dzen Tree Farm in Connecticut, wrote in a Nov. 12 Facebook post.

Great Christmas trees from little baby trees grow, so that's why we've got fewer trees today.  

Scarcity causes wholesale prices to rise. (I can't really remember what I paid for my tree last year, but I do know that the tree cost accounts for about 1/3 of what my total cost will be.) Factor in labor shortages (especially in trucking) and gas prices, and it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas trees - if you find one - will be costlier than they were last year. 

Of course, it wouldn't be a Boston Globe article if it didn't include a ration of fear-mongering tempered by a soothing it'll be all right headpat ending. Thus, we have the wisdom of Tim O'Connor, executive director of the National Christmas Tree Association unbiasedly assuring us that we will not have to resort to purchase of an artificial tree - white, green, or aluminum. 

...while localized shortages are being felt in certain parts of the country, O’Connor emphasized that there are plenty of Christmas trees for the holiday, it’s just a matter of getting them where they need to be.

“We as an industry have never run out of Christmas trees,” he said. After years of planting too many trees, the market has “righted itself” to be in line with demand.

Well, never say never, but what's an industry flack for if not giving us the feels?

Still, the article ends on a cautionary note: buy early.

I did.