Tiny house with a big ol' price

It's no secret that I am enamored of tiny houses.

And I have been since I was a kid fantasizing how I could turn the bathroom - which couldn't have been more than 40 square feet - into my own personal living space. (Fold down bed over the tub. No kitchen facilities. I guess I assumed I'd come out at meal times and my mother would feed me.) 

For a number of years, I lived in a studio apartment, which I loved. It had a very tiny kitchen that I somehow made do with, and it also had a separate alcove that fit a desk, a bookcase, and a chest of drawers.. And a separate entrance way, with a door. And several closets. Even though I have by now accumulated a ton more stuff, I know I could do it again, only this time with nicer furniture than I could afford then. (I was rather fond of those two high-end director's chairs that I got on sale and Crate & Barrel.)

I look lustily at Brownie's Cabins on Route 6 in Wellfleet. If only I'd had the presence of mind to buy one when they went condo.

I'll tune in to any tiny house show on HGTV.

A few years ago, Trish and I went to a tiny house exhibit in Brattleboro. (Disappointing: most of them weren't furnished; some were just rough cuts.)

When I'm in a hotel room that I like, my mind will usually wander to how I could convert it to a home for myself.

So, tiny house 'R us. Or 'R me. Or could be...

But would I pay $449K for a 251 square foot standalone tiny house, even if it is in tony Newton Highlands, Mass? Hell to the no! Even if it does have a sleeping loft (kneeling height once you've climbed the ladder to reach it - ideal for the elderly) and a basement (accessible via bulkhead outside) that could be turned into living space.

“One of a Kind! Adorable Tiny Studio Home in Newton Highlands,” broker Hans Brings wrote in the online sales pitch for the home that sits on a 2,452-square-foot lot that includes 120 feet of frontage on Boylston Street, better known as Route 9. “Ideal for Casual Stays, Guest Home, Meditation, Exercise Room, Storage, or Whatever You Desire. (Source: Boston Globe)

$449K!!! But, hey, it is the ever-desirable open concept. 

They showed the house on the news the other evening, and it is adorable. But not $449K worth of adorable. And the owners may have spruced up the house, but there was no TLC for the grounds: ratty fence, unkept lot with three parking spaces. 

I suppose if you lived in the neighborhood and wanted an in-law suite or guest house or office, it would be fine. Still that price tag - which translates into $1,792 per each of the mingy 251 square feet - is pretty steep. You could more than add on to your regular own house for that kind of money.

The broker - Hans Brings - had a fun little algorithm for deciding on that price. 

Brings said the asking price reflects what market research shows is the entry-level cost of a single family home in Newton ($500,000) and the price for a condo in Newton ($400,000).

“So we averaged them out as a kind of single family condo alternative,’' he said.

Wow. That's some "market research." And some mighty interesting calculation. I know pricing is more art than science, but this is some crazy new math. 

I don't care how modest that Newton starter home is, you're no doubt getting a lot more home than 251 square feet. Likely at least another 1,000 square feet, the marginal cost of which would be $50 per square foot. A lot less than $1,732 per. Modified ditto for that $400K condo. 

This is some bit of insanity is all I can say.

On the news, someone was speculating that there might be a buyer who wanted a Newton address so their kids could go to the excellent Newton public schools. But you obviously couldn't live with a family in 251 square feet, even if you converted the basement into the kiddy dorm. And if you have $449K for a mailbox, and maintained your "real" home somewhere else, can probably afford to live in a town, like Newton, with good public schools.

They also said it would make a nifty pied a terre. No offense to Newton Highlands, but even in the crazy Boston housing market, you can get a tiny little condo for that kind of money- and actually be in town where you're near things rather than in a suburb. Late last spring, a 216 square foot pad went on the market for $425K. Or, nearly $2K per square foot. (Would this were the case across the board in Boston on the day I decide to sell my condo!)

I love me my tiny houses, but this is just madness I tell you, madness.