Swag baggery in the Trump White House. (Anyone out there surprised?)

Most of the Trump-related news is pretty dire - as in his continuing to beat the drum about the stolen election, and everything else he's doing to gratify his ego while ruining the country. But every once in a while, there's a little story that, while about behavior that's plenty malign, does put a bit-een of a smile on my face.

Take the recent report that:

...the Office of the Inspector General (IG) is in the process of investigating whether these appointees decided to help themselves to the presents from the gift vault right before Trump left town. Americans paid for these gifts meant for foreign leaders. They had been planned for the Group of Seven summit at Camp David in 2020, but of course, the COVID pandemic interrupted those plans. The price of the MIA gifts was “significant,” according to a State Department official familiar with the issue, NBC News reported. (Source: Bipartisan Report)

What was in the goody bags?

Well, goodies. Like leather portfolios. Pewter Trays. Marble boxes bearing the presidential seal. High end junk that no one actually needs, but, once you see it, you do kind of want it. And who doesn't like free stuff, even when it's kinda/sorta free stuff that's stolen. 

Not that things like this don't happen in the private sector. Having been in marketing, I'm all too familiar with the disappearance of objects meant for customers. 

One time, when working with a small software company, my group ordered golf balls with the company logo on them. We were going to use them on a golf outing during out annual user group meeting. We ordered them a bit too far in advance and, by the time the user group rolled around, the cupboard was bare. Oh, well.

Sometimes the items that disappeared were more valuable than a package of golf balls. 

At a much larger - and bigger budget - company than my little software outfit, the giveaway for a partner promotion we were running was a very nice Helly Hansen jacket that cost nearly $200 bucks. The person in charge of ordering the swag for the promotion gave one to our company's Chief Marketing Officer. Oh, well. What's one jacket out of a fifty. 

Next thing we knew, the person in charge of ordering the swag for the promotion was sporting a very nice Helly Hansen jacket. As was her manager.

Before we knew it, almost all of those very nice Helly Hansen jackets had disappeared. 

Word went out that folks in the marketing organization had best not be seen wearing a very nice Helly Hansen jacket into the office.

All this was especially annoying to the person on my team who was the partner relationship manager. So much for the very nice Helly Hansen jacket promotion intended to encourage tech partners at some company or other to flog our services.

But this was just marketing stuff. Light-fingering corporate swag was not great, but it wasn't exactly a federal crime. Unlike ripping off the citizens of the United States, in the form of gifts exchanged with foreign governments. But this was apparently par for the Trump administration course.

In addition to the swag left over from the canceled G-7 meeting, another item that pulled a disappearing act was a bottle of Japanese whiskey valued at nearly $6K that was supposed to make its way to Mike Pompeo. It apparently went down someone else's hatch. Cheers!

Not that Pompeo was supposed to keep it, either. There are pretty strict regulations about gift exchanges with foreign dignitaries.

The normal protocol included three options: returning gifts above a modest amount, giving them to the National Archives or another appropriate government entity, or purchasing them from the Treasury Department at their current value.

But, as The New York Times noted:

Gift exchanges between U.S. and foreign leaders, a highly regulated process, devolved into sometimes risible shambles during the Trump administration. 

Risible shambles certainly would be apt epithet for Trump & Co, if the stakes for their non-gift-grifting behavior weren't so high.

But while on the risible end of the spectrum, there was a very amusing anecdote included in the article. 

Trump's first "diplomatic" foray was to Saudi Arabia. You may recall Trump doing some sort of ritual sword dance, and placing his hand on a glowing orb. But DJT and his entourage waltzed away with "dozens of presents, including three robes made with white tiger and cheetah fur and a dagger with a

handle that appeared to be ivory."

Anyway, whether a legitimate gift or not, turns out the Endangered Species Act forbids Americans from owning furs and ivory covered under the act. But these gifts were never recorded, and the Trump folks got to enjoy them for a while. Someone finally wised up and reported the gifts. Risibly, the Saudi gifts turned out to be fakes. I'm sure they figured that, if no one in the U.S. government was going to call them out over Khashoggi's murder, they weren't going to voice any concerns about a fake cheetah robe. 

There were a number of gifts other given to Trump that haven't yet been accounted for, and the investigation is ongoing. Wonder if they've checked Mar-a-Lago?

It would be a surprise to exactly no one if it turns out that Trump and his pack of grifters made off with a ton of swag. Some of it can be chalked up to their generally grifting ways. But I'm sure some of it can be attributed to his administration's ignorance of and lack of interest in norms, protocols, policies, and regulations that those more familiar with how governance works would at least have been aware of - even if they had no intention of complying with them.

It does make me wonder, however, whether it's time to retire the custom of exchanging pricey gifts with foreign heads of state. It's a pretty tired dance, and I'm sure most governments would be just as happy to call it quits. Small host/hostess gift, fine. Give high-end visitors a White House pen. Some softshell crabs. A bunch of roses from the Rose Garden - if they're back to having roses in the Rose Garden again. 

I believe that the Irish Prime Minister, who regularly pops in to the White House around St. Patrick's Day, brings a pot of shamrocks along. Seems about the right level.

Meanwhile, I was amused to read about the Trump admin swag baggery. What bunch! And, of course, I was delighted to learn that the Saudis had given fake gifts. I don't know whether to laud them for their ingenuity, or tell them to go pound sand. Think I'll go with pound sand. I repeat myself: What a bunch!

And what's that they say about you can't cheat an honest man?