Tom Brady shilling for Subway? Huh?

Tom Brady has done a lot of ads over the years. Top of mind: Uggs. Aston Martin. Tag Heuer. Some mattress.

I have no trouble believing that Tom wore Uggs. Drove an Aston Martin. Sported a Tag Heuer. Maybe even slept on the mattress with the brand I can't remember.

But would Tom Brady - Tom Brady! - ever, ever, ever in a million, trillion, zillion years eat at Subway? I kinda sorta doubt it.

Ah, Tom Brady.

Two things:

Like virtually every sports fan who's being honest, I believe that Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time. Sure, when he's won all those Super Bowls it's been on teams where he had the support he needed: O-lines that protected him, sure-handed receivers, D that held the scoring for the other guy down. Still...Brady is just brilliant on the field, and even I - not a super football fan - can appreciate his genius. The Super Bowl game where he took the Patriots back from a 28-3 deficit to a 34-28 win was just breathtaking. This guy's mental toughness has got to be in the 99.99999th percentile.

On the other hand, even though he's got a sister named Maureen (and I have a brother Tom), and even though he lived for a few years just a few blocks away, I've never really liked him. Not even when he was winning all those Super Bowls with the Patriots. (And, yes, on my walks I did end up watching a bit of a couple of those celebration duck boat parades. One time, TB12 even waved to me. Or at me.) But I find him bland, an odd combination of banal and weird. 

A big part of the weirdness is his diet. Oh, basically it sounds ultra-healthy and fine. Avoid sugar. Drink alcohol minimally. Eat a ton of veggies. Don't eat processed anything. No white foods. No to gluten. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. 

Plenty healthy. Not all that weird. 

Personally, I don't think I'd be too happy with the no sugar. And forget about the no gluten rule. Bread is the staff of my life, and, since my husband got a late-in-life diagnosis as sufferer from celiac disease, I know just how limiting a gluten-free diet can be. But I'm all for the plant-based emphasis. Veggies, fruits, nuts. I'm there!

But some of his veggie rules are just a tiny bit unusual. As in the fatwa on nightshades. That's no tomatoes. No potatoes. No peppers. No eggplant. 

Tom wouldn't exactly be happy rooting around in my pantry and fridge. 

Anyway, given Tom's eating regimen - which he promotes heavily as a key element of his TB12 brand - it was something of a surprise to find him doing an ad for Subway.

Subway, of course, has been in ongoing need of an image

makeover since their former long-term spokesman was imprisoned for child pornography. And you can't find a more squeaky-clean image than that of Tom Brady. Sure, there was that bit of stupidity with the MAGA cap, but mostly he's pure as the driven snow.

(A few years ago, a former University of Tennessee trainer (a woman) came forward and accused of Brady's peer and (former) archrival Peyton Manning of waving his junk in her face when he was in college. Nothing came of it, of course, and Manning continues to be featured in countless ads - far more than Brady's ever done. I would be slack-jawed amazed if anyone accused Tom Brady of such offensive behavior. I may not like Tom Brady, but I never felt he was a shitty person, a nasty macho misogynist jock. It probably helped that he was raised in a family with three sisters. That junk-waving crap just wouldn't fly.)

So I can understand why Subway would want Tom Brady.

The question is, what's Tom Brady doing shilling for Subway. I can't imagine that he actually eats their sandwiches. Seriously, would anyone eat at Subway when there's other options around?

I'm definitely pro sandwich. Just the other day, on a walk to the North End, I got an Italian at Bricco's. Yummy. 

There are plenty of other good sandwich places in Boston, including my very own kitchen. No reason to eat at Subway, thank you. Oh, I'd go to Subway if the only other choices were outfits like Arby's or Roy Rogers. Other than that. But mostly, Subway is a 'nah.'

I did feel differently when, back in my business traveling days, one of the airlines - I think it was American - started to serve meals composed of a Subway sandwich and a bag of Sun Chips. Even though the sandwiches weren't all that tasty - and I could never figure out whether the meat was whitish ham or pinkish turkey - I very much welcomed this offering. Far better than the "real" meals.

Anyway, if I don't eat at Subway - I who eat gluten. And nightshades. And sugary things. - you can bet your cleats that Tom Brady doesn't, either.

So why do the ads? He doesn't need the money. Is he donating his fee to a charity? Is the easy money just too hard to turn down? What would motivate you to shill for a product you wouldn't consume and/or feed your kids? And that could cast a shadow on your TB12 forever young/forever fit brand. Maybe TB12 isn't doing all that well, so he's figuring what the hell. Take a walk on the wild side.

The ads are somewhat clever - Tom pokes a bit of fun at himself in them  - but I've still got to wonder. Others are wondering, too.

The Subway ad, which eludes [sic: easy enough mistake to make] to their bread as a “fragrance,” shows Brady…sniffing the bread, but not eating it.

“Seductive, irresistible yet forbidden…bready,” says the female voiceover in the Subway ad.

“Smells so good…I can almost taste it,” says Brady.

“But you don’t eat bread,” the female whispers at the end.

Brady on Record

On Sunday, Brady took to Instagram and clarified his position as a spokesperson — saying he doesn’t eat “much” bread.

"People are wondering about my new partnership with @subway. As this new commercial will tell you, I don’t eat much bread, but at the end of the day I recognize greatness when I see it," wrote Brady.

"When they told me about all the new menu items they were launching, I couldn’t resist getting in on the fun. Bready…. It’s forbidden. #Bready #SubwayPartner," he continued. (Source: GoLocalProv)

I do believe that Tom Brady recognizes greatness. He sees it every time he looks in the mirror. He's the GOAT (Greatest of All Time) and he knows it. He also sees greatness when he looks at his wife, supermodel (and super businesswoman) Giselle Buncchen. But Subway? Huh?

Anyway, Tom's already got a new ad campaign going. He's an investor in a crypto exchange platform, and he and Giselle are doing ads for it. He's said that he'd like to get paid part of his salary in crypto, too. And I seem to remember that he's done something with NFT's (Non Fungible Tokens).

So when it comes to crypto, he's putting his money where his mouth is. Can't say the same for his promoting Subway. 

A lot of his fans (and even us non-fans) are asking 'why?' Guess the only answer is that, when it comes to easy money, the answer is almost always 'why not?'