Did the world REALLY need a 6-foot long hotdog???

I walk through the North End of Boston - maybe once a month. And if I'm walking through the North End, I'm 99.9999% certain to be walking at some point on Salem Street. 

Even with all those walks, somehow, I've never noticed Pauli's. Even though it's been there for a decade.

But I'll be sure to notice it now - now that I've seen the write-up on their 6-foot hotdog. 

Not that I'm anti-hot dog or anything. Although I prefer a sausage sandwich, I'm always content to have a hotdog at Fenway Park. Sure the role is soggy, but if you squirt on enough mustard and relish - admittedly not easy on the relish side, as relish at Fenway comes in those mingy little squeeze packs that are hard to open and even harder to squeeze relish out of - those Fenway Franks are fine. Especially when consumed with a Cracker Jack appetizer and a Sports Bar chaser.

And although they haven't been open since covid hit - at least not when I've been by - I would occasionally stop for a hotdog at the little food stand on the Esplanade along the Charles River.

So I'm generally good for a few hotdogs a year.

My husband was a true hotdog lover.

On the day we found out that Jim's cancer was terminal, he decided that what he really wanted to eat was a hotdog. So we went to Cheers and ordered hotdogs. Why hotdogs? A few years before he died, while they were trying to track down the root cause of his anemia, Jim found out he had celiac disease, and went on a gluten-free diet.

Maybe things have improved since then, but back in the day, while many gluten-free options were just fine, the bread generally left something to be desired. And hotdog rolls were no exception.

Anyway, once Jim got the word, he figured it no longer made a ton of sense to strictly follow a gluten-free diet. And what he wanted most was a hotdog on a glutenous roll. Cheers was one of the only places we knew that had hotdogs on the menu, so off we went. Everybody there may not have known our names - we were regulars during the pre-Cheers TV show days, not after -  but those hotdogs hit the spot.)

But a six-footer?

Nah. Even if it's all gussied up. (Maybe especially because it's all gussied up.) 

There are six varieties: Chicago-style, with dill pickles,

chopped onions, relish, and mustard; a Seattle Dog slathered with cream cheese; a Cleveland dog with fries and coleslaw; and more. (The Pauli Dog is served over a pound of buttery lobster). (Source: Boston Globe)

The Chicago-style isn't all that gussied up, and would be my choice. But a hotdog "slathered with cream cheese"? I know you should never say never. I was appalled by the idea of mayonnaise on French fries until I tried it when I was on a business trip to Amsterdam years/decades ago, and found it was rather delish. Still, cream cheese on a hotdog? I'll say it: Never.

As for a hotdog topped with lobster. Now that is an atrocity. 

But the real atrocity is the price: $599.99, which works out to a hundred bucks a foot. 

Oh, it serves twelve, but that still works out to $50 per person for a hot dog. For that kind of money, you could order a Pauli's Lobsta Sub ($44.99) for everyone and still have some walking around money left over.

For $599.99 you could get a lot of things that could feed a dozen people, including really nice slabs of steak. Sure, you'd have to be willing to cook, but as long as your guests aren't vegetarian/vegan, your guests would probably be delighted to sup on sirloin or ribeye with a few sides. Paleo dieters would be thrilled! And cooking a steak isn't all that difficult a kitchen task. (Okay, it would take me a while to cook twelve steaks in my kitchen, but I'm guessing that anyone who'd consider paying $599.99 for a hotdog probably has access to an outdoor grill.)

I'm not sure Pauli's is actually selling this mega-dog. I did a cursory look at their website and couldn't find it. Maybe it was just a gimmick for National Hotdog Day. Or something.

I will say one thing. As a gimmick, it sure caught my attention. On my next swing through the North End - coming up soon - I'm tempted to stop by Pauli's and buy one of their "normal" sandwiches. My North End sandwich go-to is Bricco, but Pauli's menu looks pretty good. 

Just not the 6-foot long hotdog. Which is really not something that the world needs.