Grand Enfant Terrible

You may have seen the picture of the young woman. She's wearing jeans. A stupid khaki cap that looks like it was last seen on the head of Bowery Boy Huntz Hall. And a bright yellow rain jacket, pretty much the same color of le maillot jaune, the yellow jersey that's worn by the winner of the previous day's leg of the Tour de France. Of course, since this was Day One, there was no one wearing the yellow jersey. Just a bunch of cyclists, a peloton, about two-thirds of the way through the roughly 100 miles they cover each day during this 21-day, 2100+ mile bike race - a race that wends its way through French hills and mountains, ending in Paris on the Champs-Élysées.

She's wearing a stupid grin, mugging for the camera, holding a crudely lettered cardboard sign - Allez Opi - Omi - Go (in French) Grandpa - Grandma (German). And leaning into the race course, her crudely lettered sign directly in the path of the cyclists.

With 45 kilometres to go, a fan holding a sign for the TV cameras (not watching the race) clipped Tony Martin (Team Jumbo-Visma) on the right-hand side of the road and caused a massive crash.

Almost the entire peloton went down in the chaotic pileup at the top of Saint-Rivoal. As bikes and bodies flew across the road, many cyclists and spectators were injured. As of Sunday, Team DSM rider Jasha Sutterlin had to pull out of the Tour after just one stage and other riders, such as Marc Hirschi, are being monitored for their injuries. (Source: Cycling Magazine)

I'm not a cycling fan, and most of what I know about the Tour de France comes from the doping scandals. But I know that the cyclists are serious, top-drawer athletes. This is not me on my trusty Schwinn, or trying to figure out the gears on an English racer three-speed.

Years ago, my husband and I were in Galway when some professional race blew through. This was in the era when Irishman Stephen Roche was one of the premier cyclists in the world. He had won the Triple Crown of cycling a few years earlier: Tour de France, similar prestige race in Italy, and the world championship. A very big deal.  

Like everyone else in Galway that day - a dreary, rainy day, as I recall - we lined up on a hill heading down into the city center.

Did we see Stephen Roche? I think we did, but those guys went by in a blur. 

Anyway, the feckless jerk in the Huntz Hall cap and yellow slicker (still unidentified as of this Sunday writing) is now on the radar of the French national police. She's facing a possible/probable prison sentence. And she's going to be sued by the Tour de France and, I suspect, the cyclists she decked.

Tony Martin, despite his American radio singer of the thirties and forties name, is not an American professional cyclist. He's a German professional cyclist, whose fall set off the domino cascade of falls. Quite the pileup.

He took to Instagram to plea with all the fans who line the route to stop acting like imbeciles. 

To all fans that come to the #tourdefrance to celebrate our beautiful sport, to give us motivation and to help us through the hardest moments: thanks for your support today!!! I'm fine after the bad crash yesterday and I'm happy to continue 👊🏻

To all the people next to the road who think that the #tourdefrance is a circus, to people who risc everything for a selfie with a 50 km/h fast peloton, to people who think it's nice to show their naked butt, to drunken people who push us sideways on the climbs, to people who think that it is a good idea to hold a sign into the road while the peloton is passing. I want to ask this people forcefully: please respect the riders and the #tourdefrance ! Use your head or stay home! We don't want you here. You risk our life and our dreams for that we work so hard!

Because of the Opi-Omi wording on her sign, there's speculation that the stunting narcissist who caused the pileup is German, which won't help her win any popularity contests in that country, given that she took down one of their bests.  

Whether she's German, French, or anything else, she will more than likely be outed. An awful lot of people follow the Tour de France. An awful lot of people saw that video. An awful lot of people are pissed. And at some point, if the woman in the video doesn't turn herself in, someone else will.

What is it with so many people that they have to make everything about themselves.

We are all, of course, the centers of our own universes. And it does make a major event - a great concert, a political demonstration, a thrilling ballgame - a bigger deal if you're there in person. But that doesn't mean you have to insert yourself into it in such an aggressive way. A selfie is one thing. Grandstanding to get on TV is quite another. Especially if you're endangering others in the process.

Maybe she doesn't need to do hard time, but Ms. Huntz-hall-cap-yellow-jacket-wearing-Opi-and-Omi-greeting should be identified. And she should be good and embarrassed. And do a groveling apology to Tony Martin and the rest of that peloton.

What was she thinking? Probably nothing, other than it's all about me.

You wanted to get on TV? Congratulations! Job well done. 

I know this isn't French for grandchild, but what a grand enfant terrible.