Ghost-aurants. (Boo!)

Over the last year+ - i.e., pandemic times - I did a fair amount of ordering in. Maybe once or twice a month, and all from neighborhood restaurants I patronized regularly in real life, in the before times. I didn't use Uber Eats or DoorDash. I just went on line, ordered, and walked over to pick the order up. That way, "my" restaurants got the full benefit of my order, and didn't get gouged off the top by any delivery service.

And I guess I'm a creature of habit, because it never occurred to me to take the COVID opportunity to expand my dining horizons.

Mostly I wanted to support the places that I wanted to survive. And they pretty much all did. 

Anyway, because I was taking out from my oldies but goodies, until I saw a recent article in The Boston Globe, I wasn't aware of the newcomers to the dining in experience: ghost restaurants. 

Customers entering Maria’s Taqueria, a tiny restaurant with bright orange walls on Tremont Street near the Boston Common, might assume that the workers behind the counter are rolling burritos and scooping guacamole to fulfill orders for Maria’s Taqueria.

That’s typically the way things go inside a restaurant. But when Maria’s receives an online order, it could be for one of four restaurants listed with the same address on delivery and pickup apps such as Uber Eats and DoorDash: Maria’s, Taco Taco Burrito Burrito, Burrito Clasico, or Thank U, Mex. (Source: Boston Globe)

Maria's isn't on my daily walking route, but I do get down that way every once in a while, but I have to admit that, despite the bright orange walls, I've never actually noticed Maria's. And I probably wouldn't have stopped in, anyway. 

When I want a taco, I make one for myself. When I want a fajita, I just hope that my sister Trish makes one when I'm at her house. When I want a burrito, I stop in at Boloco, which is just around the corner from the Maria's I never noticed. 

And as for those other restaurants - Thank U, Mex, et al. - there was nothing to notice. That's because:

None of these restaurants, other than Maria’s, exists in real life — at least not in the traditional sense. They’re called virtual restaurants, or sometimes ghost restaurants, and they’re proliferating in Boston and around the country as eateries seek an edge in an increasingly crucial carryout business powered largely by third-party ordering platforms.

I don't completely know how I feel about this. I don't think that Maria's is being dishonest, exactly. To the person ordering a taco taco or a burrito burrito to be delivered by Grub Hub, what's the difference where it comes from. Unless and until they decide they want to eat-in at a place that's become an old favorite. They might feel a bit let down. But, again, I don't think there's anything especially dishonest about this practice.

And I don't blame restaurants - a low margin business to begin with, shredded by the pandemic, struggling to hang on - for trying anything they can to keep their doors open.

Restaurants that use the strategy say it helps them show up more frequently in online search results, and increases their chances of making a sale.

“The virtual restaurants are not as busy as Maria’s, but every little thing helps, especially with the last year we have been through,” said Cristian Mancia, owner of Maria’s. “It is nice to have more options out there for people to look at.”

Can't fault Cristian, or disagree with what they have to say. Still, although I'm not sure exactly why, but I'm a bit weirded out by it.

And it's not all little joints that are doing it. In The Globe article, they mention the Scorpion Bar, an upscale spot in the Seaport District. They didn't have a rarified menu to begin with. Sure, they had tuna tartar on there, but they also had an $18 chimichanga, a $24 burrito, and an 8-piece order of wings for $20. All of which sound pretty pricey to me. Anyway, since their kitchen already knew how to churn out wings and burritos, they took the pandemic opportunity to "launch" a couple of virtual restaurants: Wicked Wings and Wicked Burritos.

Bertucci's (a former old favorite from back in the day when one of their spots was the only restaurant within walking distance of my office) has also gotten in on the act. 

One of the outlets in this chain - which, when it first started out, had one store, and that one store featured a working bocce ball court - now:

...makes food for celebrity-inspired virtual restaurants, including Tyga Bites, a chicken nugget concept from the rapper Tyga, and Mariah’s Cookies by Mariah Carey. 

I'm not exactly the bullseye demographic for Tyga Bites. And, as much as I like Mariah's All I Want for Christmas Is You, I'm not inclined to place an online order for her cookies. Mariah's gimmick is lining up local restaurants to bake cookies for them. They've got outposts all over the country. And their core deal is with CloudKitchens, "a startup tied to [none other than] ex-Uber chief executive Travis Kalanick."

Despite (or is it because of the foresight and genius of) Travis Kalanick, I'm a big fan of Uber.

But the idea of tech companies taking over the restaurant industry, and setting up all these virtual restaurants, frankly, it spooks me. 

Now that things have been opening up, I've been venturing out to restaurants a bit. So far, I've hit two of the favorites I'm been taking out from: Antonio's and 75 Chestnut. 

It's nice to sit there. It's nice to get waited on. It almost feels like seeing an old friend after a good long time.

So I don't want to see the dining landscape dominated by ghost-aurants. Hiss and BOOOOOO! to that.