Rat Patrol

There aren't many downsides to having a dog, but one of them is that they've been known to put some pretty nasty things in their mouths. Dead birds. Dead frogs. Cigarette butts. Used tampons. Dog turds. Not to mention the average dog's proclivity for licking their privates, and poking their snouts up another dog's ass. 

So while I'm all in favor of dog licks, I draw the line at a smooch on the lips. You really don't know where that mouth has been. Nor do you want to know. 

I wasn't all that big a fan of Lucy Van Pelt - if we'd had teams back when I was a Peanuts fan, I'd have been Team Linus - but when Lucy shrieked and gagged out "dog lips touched mine," I could sympathize. Could feel her pain. (If one can actually feel the pain of a cartoon character.)

Gotta love dogs, but when they're doing what comes naturally, it can get pretty gross. 

Some NYC dog-owners, however, are not all that skeeved out by what their puppers clamp their jaws down on.

These contrarians are members of the Ryders Alley Trencher-fed Society, or R.A.T.S. for short. They bring their dogs out on rat patrol, patrolling some pretty ultra-rat ridden alleys, trying to make at least a small dent in the city's colossal rat population. Estimate: there's at least one rat per capita in The City. That makes for about 8 million rats. Minus the ones the R.A.T.S. dogs managed to bag on their last outing.

The R.A.T.S. have been at it for a while:

They have been chasing vermin for about 30 years and have maintained their nocturnal meets during the pandemic, albeit slightly less regularly... "They're bred for the job. They're wired for the job. They live for the job," explained [R.A.T.S. organizer Richard Reynolds. (Source: Raw Story)

I'm all for whatever can be done to hold down the rat population. Boston's bad enough. I can only imagine what it's like in New York, home of Pizza Rat and all sorts of other super-sized rodents. The fewer the better. Still, however purpose-built, however "wired" dogs are for the task of rat eradication, I really don't like this idea in the least. 

Shorter-legged dogs such as Jagdterriers flush out rodents from piles of garbage, construction debris and bushes while faster, longer-legged dogs like Bedlingtons stand back, ready to pounce.

"It's a bit like X-Men," says Alex Middleton, a 36-year-old dog trainer. "Each dog has its own superpower."

The real superpower most doggos have - the only they really need - is the famous canine capacity for empathy and affection. 

Reynolds, 77, will sometimes pound trash cans with a metal stick to send rats scurrying, while Middleton frequently drops Rommel, a Jagdterrier, straight into dumpsters.

I suppose that, if you're going to name a dog after a WWII German, Rommel is who you're going to go with. At least he was part of the plot to kill Hitler. And given that the soldiers cavorting around the desert in jeeps in the old TV show Rat Patrol were fighting Rommel's troops, it's sort of fitting in this case. But who names a dog Rommel? 

"Go on Rommel, get it," the group shouts, as the dog thrashes around in the rubbish. Moments later, following several squeaks, Rommel, blood dripping from his mouth, appears with the rat, and the hunters cheer.

I sure wouldn't let a dog who'd just had rat blood dripping from his mouth anywhere near me. At least not until he'd had a nice long slurp from the toilet. Even then...

But that just might be persnickety me. Realistically, no dog owner can be all that fastidious.

Anyway, R.A.T.S. gets its leads from "calls and Facebook messages from rat-troubled residents who are usually most grateful for the group's swift and effective response."

The city government doesn't recommend the practice, citing a risk of dogs catching a serious disease known as leptospirosis. But city officials don't stop the group, because the catchers are not violating its health code.

Leptospirosis, you say? Can that be transmitted to humans. asking for a friend.

Many residents are grateful for R.A.T.S. efforts to help rid the city of rats. The more groups involved, the better. PETA, on the other hand...

Animal rights group PETA's senior director Stephanie Bell described the hunts as "archaic, depraved and illegal."

Not clear whose side PETA's on here, the rats or the dogs, but if they're talking dog, they've got a point.   

In addition to the obvious benefit of getting rid of rats:

The group [R.A.T.S.] sends DNA samples to universities conducting research and provides frozen rats for falcons to eat at a nearby avian rehabilitation center.

As for the members, 

The volunteers say their enjoyment comes from seeing their dogs have fun developing predatory skills.

"We do rat control but that's not really why we're here," said Reynolds. "We're here for the dogs, to work the dogs."

Kim McCormick, a 58-year-old paramedic who makes six-hour round trips from Connecticut to take part, also enjoys the camaraderie among owners.

"It's a whole different world, a whole different way of meeting people. We work together, and the dogs are phenomenal together," she said.

There's an informal group of folks who get together morning and evening in the dog runaround area on the Boston Common. The folks chat while the dogs cavort about, chasing, racing, butt sniffing, and all the other things dogs do. Dogs want and need dog buddies, and if and when I get a dog, I'm sure I'll make my way at least into the periphery of this group. That's enough of a "whole different way of meeting people" for me. 

And, just in case, I've scratched any kind of terrier mutt off of my likely dog list. I wouldn't want any pup of mine racing back to me with a dead rat dangled from its jaws. Guaranteed those dog lips would get nowhere near mine. 

Just in case, I'll have to do a bit of research on disinfectant doggy mouthwash. What works on rat blood? On leptospirosis?

Something to look forward to...