Top of the world, Ma!

I like a nice view and all that, but you wouldn't catch me living on the 96th floor of a splosh Manhattan tower, even if I could afford to live on the 96th floor of a splosh Manhattan tower.

For one thing, even though I do like (some) modern architecture, I prefer older buildings with character. So I could live in the Woolworth Building. But I still wouldn't want to be on the 60th floor, which would be the room at the top. If I lived in NY, I'd rather be in a comfy old brownstone.

And another thing. I have a reasonably pronounced fear of heights. It never bothers me while flying, but it does when traveling over a high bridge, or being anywhere near the window of a really tall building. Many years ago, I was in the bar of a really tall building in Chicago - can't remember whether it was the Sears or the Hancock, but it was really tall and it had a cocktail lounge at the really tall top. Anyway, they tried to seat us by the window - thanks, but not thanks - and even in the middle of the room I was feeling skittish. That trip to the ladies' room meant walking down a corridor with floor-to-ceiling windows? No second drink for me! Check, please!

And I wouldn't want to be so far up that a fire ladder couldn't reach me in case of emergency. Plus, I'd rather be situated below the line where a plane commandered by terrorists might be tempted to plow into. Better chance of survival. 

So I never would have been a candidate for taking up residence even at the lower reaches of 432 Park Avenue, which, when it went up 6 years ago, was the world's tallest residential building. 

Fortunately for the developers of 432 Park Avenue, there were plenty of wealthy folks who were candidates who went out and elected themselves by buying a place there. Often, the buyers were foreigners looking for a pied-à-terre -  or would that be pied-à-ciel - or celebrities like J-Lo and A-Rod (J-Rod, A-Lo?), who called 432 one of their homes for a while. Most owners purchased their places through privacy-protecting shell companies. How pricey are the places? J-Rod's went for a relatively modest $15.3M. The 96th floor penthouse sold for a whopping $88M

But it seems there's a little bit of trouble this side of heaven.

Now that they've settled in, 

...residents of the exclusive tower are now at odds with the developers, and each other, making clear that even multimillion-dollar price tags do

not guarantee problem-free living. The claims include: millions of dollars of water damage from plumbing and mechanical issues; frequent elevator malfunctions; and
walls that creak like the galley of a ship — all of which may be connected to the building’s main selling point: its immense height, according to homeowners, engineers and documents obtained by The New York Times. (Source: NY Times)

Some of this is inevitable. New buildings, like ships, have shake down cruises. (And believe me when I say that old buildings have more of their share of problems, too.)

But some of the issues - which are also being experienced in the other super towers - are the result of trying to reach for the sky.

All buildings sway in the wind, but at exceptional heights, those forces are stronger. A management email explained that “a high-wind condition” stopped an elevator and caused a resident to be “entrapped” on the evening of Oct. 31, 2019 for 1 hour and 25 minutes. Wind sway can cause the cables in the elevator shaft to slap around and lead to slowdowns or shutdowns, according to an engineer who asked not to be named, because he has worked on other towers in New York with similar issues.

Slapping elevator cables? That doesn't sound anxiety producing or anything like that now, does it? 

One of the most common complaints in supertall buildings is noise, said Luke Leung, a director at the architectural firm Skidmore, Owings and Merrill. He has heard metal partitions between walls groan as buildings sway, and the ghostly whistle of rushing air in doorways and elevator shafts.

Groaning walls and a "ghostly whistle." Isn't that was noise-canceling ear buds were created for? 

Residents at 432 Park complained of creaking, banging and clicking noises in their apartments, and a trash chute “that sounds like a bomb” when garbage is tossed, according to notes from a 2019 owners’ meeting.

"Sounds like a bomb." Just what I'd want to hear going off in a NYC high rise.

All this, not surprisingly, is causing some buyer's remorse. So is the steadily increasing homeowner charges, which in 2019 went up by 40%, partly in response to the insurance fees that skyrocketed after multiple water damage issues. (And I'm guessing personal homeowner's insurance rates went up as well. If NY is anything like MA, the overall building is responsible for overall structural problems, but the individual homeowners have to take care of all the damage from the studs in. One owner at 432 suffered $500K's worth a damage when a flange burst above them. Years ago, we had a burst pipe and, if I remember correctly, repairs to our unit cost about $50K - not counting decamping to a hotel for over a month. And, while my condo is quite nice, it is nowhere near the luxury living at 432 Park.)

Beyond the whistling, groaning, slapping, and leaking, residents of 432 have yet another gripe.

There's a fancy private restaurant in the building, and homeowners were originally obligated to spend $1,200 eating there, which I imagine was pretty darned easy to do. However,

... in 2021, that requirement jumps to $15,000, despite limited hours of operation because of the pandemic. And breakfast is no longer free.

Now I was well aware that there's no such thing as a free lunch. But, damn, here you are telling yourself that you're sitting on top of the world, Ma, and come to find out there there's no such thing as a free breakfast, either.

Sometimes  it's tough to be rich!