That Jenny Cudd, she sure is a riot!

No, she's not the Frisco, Texas real estate agent who flew on a private jet to the Capitol Riot because the guy who invited her was cute, and - "shucky darn" - because "I feel like I was basically following my president. I was following what we were called to do. He asked us to fly there." No, that was Jenna Ryan. 

Jenny Cudd is another Texas blonde insurrectionist, but she's the Midland, Texas florist who stormed the Capitol because, dang, she's a capital-P Patriot and, after all, "Mike Pence betrayed us." (That's Jenny in her Superman Trump cape. Glad so many of them made it easy to identify by not wearing masks. And, of course, posting about their exploits on social media.)

Jenny Cudd (great name, by the way) is out on pre-trial release, but right about now, she's looking for permission to leave the country for a prepaid weekend retreat in Riviera Maya, Mexico, scheduled for February 18 - 21, that she set up for herself and her employees.

Her attorneys have filed a motion stating that:

"This is a work-related bonding retreat for employees and their spouses." (Source: NY Post)

"Work-related bonding retreat." Gotcha! 

I mean, those with suspicious minds might see this as a tax-deductible boondoggle. A nice way to reward employees after the hectic Valentine's Day flower binge.

But, hey, it's a "work-related bonding retreat," and as anyone who's ever been on a corporate bonding retreat, they're so much more meaningful if they're plus one. 

Over the course of my career, I went to plenty of "off-sites". Strategy session. Training. Group planning. Sales kickoff. Management gathering. And one spectacularly elaborate sales "Winners' Circle" all expense paid plus-one boondoggle to a fancy resort in Hawaii.

I was never in sales, let alone a sales winner, but that year, not enough of the company's sales folks made quota, and they'd prepaid for the event, so they picked a couple of dozen "iLeaders" (i = Internet; those were the days) and invited us along for the spree.

My plus-one wasn't my husband. He wouldn't have been caught dead at this week-long shindig. Make that he probably would have been caught dead, as he would have done away with himself by the end of the first day. 

Anyway, I invited my sister Trish and she said "yes."

And.We.Were.Off.

To Lanai. To the same resort where Bill Gates had gotten married. So you can get the picture.

On our arrival, we were invited to hit the gift shop and pick up something Hawaiian-ish to wear to the evening luau: shirts for the fellows, wraps for the gals. 

At the spare-no-expense (and continual drink flow) luau, we were all a bit curious when we saw all those Tiffany boxes stacked up on the dais. Sure, it was from Tiffany's, but it quite disappointingly turned out to be some fancy glass objet with your name and 2001 iLeader engraved on it. At least if it had been a bowl or something it might have been useful, but, no...

This turned out to be the only non-useful gift, however, and each day meant a new gift or two.

Hawaiian motif serving bowl. A blanket. A beach chair (the one you sat on for the concert-plus fireworks event with a performance by Michael McDonald of the Doobie Brothers). I can't remember what else we got, but at the end of the week, everything was packed up and Fed-Exed back to the office. Because there was too damned much to haul back with you on the plane.

It was a lovely week full of all you can eat, all you can drink (whether you were poolside or on the beach, there was someone there to take your drink and snack order), and if you played your cards right, you could avoid any bonding with the sales guys and hang with your plus-one, augmented by time spent with fellow iLeaders, some I was friends with. All this wining and dining was broken up by visits to the spa (I recommend the seaweed wrap) and a day trip to Maui. If so inclined, you could golf or play tennis or tour the island by Jeep, which sounded like a good idea until that ride turned out to be sheer white-knuckle terror. Fortunately, my colleague Joan's husband did the driving. (The island was beautiful, by the way, once we got down from teetering on the mountain rim.)

In exchange for all this, we had to sit through a 20-minute business session, during which the sales EVP made fun of IRS rules, and two hung-over sales guys sped through presos on their big wins.

So I do have something of an idea of what Jenny Cudd's little bonding retreat is all about.

Sorry about your losing your deposit, but it looks like everyone else should be able to go, including your hubby, no? Darn the luck, but you know what they say, don't do the crime if you can't do the time. I just think it's a riot that you expect a judge to let you head off to Mexico for your jaunt just a few weeks after your attack on democracy. And I know you're not big on facts and masks, but there is a pandemic on.

Anyway, I think you had your bonding retreat on January 6th. (Act in haste, repent in leisure.)

P.S. And wouldn't you know, the judge is letting Mrs. Cudd free to go to Mexico to chew the work cud with her employees. I think the next insurrection isn't scheduled until March 4th, so everything should work out just fine.