I've watched it a few times over the years, but I haven't paid all that much attention to American Idol. Enough to know that some of the winners have gone on to considerable success (Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Hudson). Enough to know that plenty of the winners haven't. And enough to know that they deliberately slot in one or two clinker acts to make fun of. Ho ho! Nothing like making fun of some poor schnook who thinks they've got talent.
On Sunday, I turned it on half-way through the first show of their new season.
Admittedly - and I'm embarrassed to admit it - I was drawn to it because I knew that Claudia Conway, the sixteen year old Tik-Tok troubled daughter of former White House "alternative fact" gal Kellyanne Conway and Never Trump attorney George Conway, was going to be on.
Of course, they held her out until near the end, so I had to sit through a bunch of other performers to get to her.
The first act I caught was a teenaged girl - one of a family of ten whose mother had abandoned the family last year. The girl performed a song, "Scars," that she'd written about that abandonment. As you can imagine, the song was overwrought, the lyrics tortured. The girl broke down in tears, and her father, watching in the wings, was summoned in to comfort her. The show, of course, must go on. And it did. And despite the fact that the girl didn't have a great voice, and she's no great shakes as a songwriter, she was able to make an emotional appeal to the judges - Luke Bryan, Katy Perry, Lionel Richie - and they voted unanimously that the girl would go on to the next stage in the contest.
Having her on to begin with seems plenty exploitative to me. Yes, she had an okay voice, but I'm guessing that what was compelling about her was her willingness to expose herself and the family drama. Family with ten kids. "Worship leader" father. Bad mother. All the dysfunction, of course, provided a golden opportunity for the judges to tear up and express their great empathy. Celebrities! People tug at their heartstrings! They're just like us!
This girl is only 18. Sure, she was willingly exploited. Still, it struck me as manipulative and tawdry to have her on.
There were two acts who were clearly there so they could get rejected.
One was a mediocre folksinger middle-school teacher. He had the level of talent one might expect to find present among a group of college friends. Have guitar, will entertain. This fellow, no doubt, made it to the first round solely because he has the unfortunate last name of Trump.
The other was some Euro male model cavorting around in a speedo and long white tube socks, straight out of the Richard Simmons era. He was trying to prove he was more than a male model, but a singer as well. Not. Again, I take it he was just on so that us folks at home could laugh at him and give him our knowing 'No.' That or he's a performance artist/comedian.
Next to these two rejectees were two women who were the real deal. A Little Rock high school senior channeled her inner Aretha Franklin. Wow. Just wow. And a student at Berklee School of Music started out with the unpromising backstory of woe-is-me-my-father-died-last-year, but turned out to have an Adele set of pipes. I don't know the names of either of these young women, but both were very talented, both were voted on to the next stage, and either or both could become Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, or Jennifer Hudson level famous.
Which brings us to Claudia Conway.
I haven't been following her saga all that closely, but for the past year or so she's been on and off social media criticizing and exposing her parents, ratcheting back and forth between child seriously in need of help and/or a preening, spoiled narcissistic brat.
Turns out her big dream is to be a singing STAR.
I'm no critic, and I wouldn't say she's devoid of talent, but she's no Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson or Jennifer Hudson. And she's never going to be. I'd say she's got talent more along the lines of Mr. Trump, the strum along teacher.
If she weren't the daughter of Kellyanne and George Conway, Claudia would no more have been given a chance to appear on American Idol than I would have been.
Claudia Conway is sixteen. Surely, she wouldn't have been allowed to sign herself on to American Idol without parental permission. I know that, at one point, she tried to become an emancipated minor, but I don't think this wish was granted. Anyway, there was Dad, standing off stage, rooting her on and crowing how delighted he was that his daughter is getting to do what she's always wanted to do. And there's Mommy Dearest, via larger-than-life video, telling her that she loved her and that sometimes you have to lose to win.
Two media whores if ever, encouraging their daughter to follow in their media whoring footsteps. Swell!
Turns out, of course, that Kellyanne was wrong about her daughter having to be a loser before she can be a winner. At least for now.
In a world full of alternative facts, Claudia Conway's got talent. And with or without great talent, she's good for ratings - I turned on to watch - and so she was given the Golden Ticket to proceed to the next phase: a trip to Hollywood and coaching with a professional, then a next appearance on the show.
They may keep Claudia Conway around for a while. Ratings, etc.
But they've lost me. There's a reason I've been mostly avoiding this show for all these years...
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