Even by marketing-speak standards

Like all professional sports, hockey was financially clobbered by COVID. So the NHL gave teams the go ahead to start selling advertising rights to their helmets. (The truncated hockey season kicks off next Wednesday.) There's not that much real estate on a hockey helmet, and the pictures I've seen so far aren't crazily terrible. Here's the example from the Edmonton Oilers:

I chose this because the Bruins haven't as yet announced a deal (at least as of January 4th), and, of course, because the name on the helmet is Rogers. (Regrettably, no relation.) Rogers Communications is a big deal in Canada, and they sponsor the arena where the Oilers play. (The Rogers name also adorns the stadium where the Toronto Blue Jays play.) And, of course, I was much taken by the toothless grin of this gamer. (Maybe it would take away from that famous hockey charm, but they might want to consider adding mouth guards to the standard pro-hockey gear set.)

I enjoy hockey, but don't watch a ton of it. 

Occasionally, I'll put on part of a Bruins game, and I'll watch some of the Stanley Cup playoffs whether the B's are in it or not. 

But I'm not wedded to hockey the same way I am to baseball, and I think the ads on helmets are fine. The ads'll take less getting used to than the shift to wearing helmets. This came about in the 1970's in the wake of Teddy Green, one of the Big Bad Boston Bruins, ending up with fragments of his skull embedded in his brain after a wild stick bashing melee. My early hockey watching days were helmet-free, and I'll admit it took some getting used to when you could no longer see the guys heads quite as well. Would Bruins dreamboat Derek Sanderson - he of the drooping mustache and flowing locks - have been Derek Sanderson if he'd had to wear a helmet during his career?

Comparatively, ads on helmet will be nothing.

The ads I've seen have all been subtle, nowhere near the advertising gaudy of NASCAR. 

Maybe that'll happen when the NHL starts selling rights to have ads on their jerseys, where there's a lot more space on offer. But so far, so good.

If I have no gripe with the ads themselves, I do have a problem with the way that the NHL teams are positioning it. Rather than come out and say "we're letting sponsors pay to stick their logo on our guys' helmets", what they're saying is that they now have a "helmet entitlement partner."

"Helmet entitlement partner"? What????

While I personally tend to prefer the direct approach, I have no problem with euphemisms. In the corporate world, we all know that "downsized" (or the chirpier but phonier "rightsized") means lay-offs. "Left to pursue entrepreneurial efforts" were the words used in one company I worked for whenever someone in executive management was given the boot. I.e., fired. 

I know a lot of people who think that when someone says they're doing consulting, it really means they're out of a job and looking for one. But, honestly, being a freelancer, doing consulting, can be your job. My consulting days are winding down, but I did it - and made a decent living at it - for well over a decade.

But "helmet entitlement partner." Seriously, hockey folks, the only real word in there is "helmet."

Sure, "entitlement" just means a right. So why not unfancy it and just say "advertising rights."

And don't get me going on "partner", one of those words that somewhere along the line became the euphemism for any entity a company has a commercial relationship with. Forget being a vendor. Forget being a customer. Forget having a customer. Hey, hey, hey, you're a "partner."

Sometimes, an organization is actually involved in a partnership. They actually work with another organization, doing something or other together. It requires both parties. And they mutually benefit. But as often as not, these days, it just means they buy/you sell/you buy/they sell.

Just what sort of partnership are the Detroit Red Wins in with United Wholesale Mortgage? Do the Florida Panthers partner with Baptist Health to get their players patched up when they get smashed into the boards? Maybe, but this doesn't seem like any more of a partnership than me getting my healthcare at Mass General.

So, helmet entitlement partner-schmartner. 

Sometimes I'm just plain embarrassed for the marketing profession...