Sorry, Jeffrey Toobin. But now everyone knows you're a dog...

I'm sure you've all seen it going around. That thing about so many people not wearing pants while they're participating in a Zoom or Webex meeting. I wouldn't have thought that it was actually a thing, except that Fishbowl did a survey last spring asking professionals about their video conferencing attire. They found that:

• 1 out of 10 people (9.6%) wear only underwear below the belt during video conference calls. The gender breakdown probably won't surprise you — men answered that they video conference in their underwear at more than three times a higher rate than women at 14.27% vs 4.72%. (Source: Bizjournals)

The M-F differential doesn't surprise me. Still, I found it a bit disturbing that anyone - let alone 14.27% of men - sits around during a business meeting in their undies. The rest of the findings made more sense.

• Only 3% of professionals wear professional attire in video meetings

I assume by "professional attire" they mean what someone would wear to the office, or in a client meeting. So I guess there are still circumstances in which full business drag remains appropriate. In a serious meeting, a lawyer might want to lawyer up. A telehealth doctor might want to don their white coat.

I met with my financial advisor via Zoom last week. I don't recall what he was wearing. A dress shirt maybe? I don't think he had on a tie, which is fine by me. I know he wasn't wearing a ratty t-shirt. And I'm guessing he had pants on.

And some people are just very formal, stiff, even.

I have absolutely no cause to get dressed up for any of the meetings I have. No way I'd be zooming in something I would have worn to an in person client meeting back in the day before COVID. That would have been a nice pair of pants or a skirt, a jacket or nice sweater. Earlier on, I would wear a suit, but that's been a while. The tech industry tends toward casual, and I'm right there with them.

But 3% sounds about right.

• 12.50% answered with jeans

That would be me. Although I do wear linen pants or khakis during the summer, my uniform is mostly jeans. Others, however, are attired in something they wouldn't wear into the office even on the most casual of Casual Fridays:

• 75.20% answered with pajamas, sweats, shorts, or leggings

I just bought a pair of sweatpants, so I might be switching to sweats from the waist down.

I just really can't imagine sitting around in my underwear. And I really don't want to imagine anyone I'm Zooming with sitting around in their underwear, either. And it matters not whether it's boxers or briefs. (Although, admittedly, boxers seem more like real clothing to me.) There's really something not right about going to work in your underwear.

But high praise to those Jockey short wearers compared to the non-zero number of Zoom call participants who don't even bother with underpants. A roster that includes Jeffrey Toobin.

I like(d) Jeffrey Toobin. He's a legal commentator who writes wonderful articles for The New Yorker, and appears as a talking head on CNN. He's smart, clear, interesting. And liberal-leaning. So I enjoy his writing and his appearances.

During a recent meeting with New Yorker colleagues in which they were doing an "election simulation", gaming out different scenarios, Toobin apparently forgot that the least he could do was wear underpants:

The New Yorker magazine has suspended longtime staff writer Jeffrey Toobin after he inadvertently exposed himself during a virtual staff call last week over the messaging platform Zoom.

“Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,” a spokesperson told The Washington Post. Vice.com first reported the suspension Monday afternoon. (Source: Wapo)

"Inadvertently exposed himself"? Huh? How does that happen? 

One of the reason you can get away with undies is that, on Zoom, you're pretty much seen from the waist up. I suppose you could accidentally stand up and show the world that you wear "fun" boxers or dowdy white cotton grandma undies.

But to be naked? Huh? A thousand times huh.

He's also been suspended by CNN.

“Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,” a CNN spokesperson said."

Personal issue"? I'll say. Is Jeffrey Toobin another Anthony Weiner? 

Toobin, who could not immediately be reached for comment, told Vice.com in a statement that he “made an embarrassingly stupid mistake” during the Zoom call. “I believed I was not visible on Zoom,” he said. “I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video.”

How completely embarrassing, how colossally humiliating, to give away your dirty little secret: that you get your jollies sitting there with your privates in the altogether while you and your colleagues are taking care of business.

So what if he believed he was not visible on Zoom. This is still incredibly skeevy behavior.

What an idiot.

And to compound his idiocy, he thinks that you mute video. Hah!

In the early days of the Internet, there was an iconic New Yorker cartoon:

If you can't read the caption, it's "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

But that was in a long ago time, when we didn't have cameras and video conferences. Now, I'm afraid, our canine friends would be outed. As was Jeffrey Toobin, behaving like the ultimate louche, unsavory, pervy dog.

I take that back. Dog's too good a word for Toobin. No one would expect dogs to be clothed from the waist down. Let's just leave it at perv.

It'll be a long time before anyone can look at Toobin's talking head talking without thinking about what he's wearing. Or not. It'll be easier to read his articles, once he gets back. Although even there I'll be thinking "was he naked while writing this?"

This is assuming that all Toobin was doing was letting it all hang out. Not that he was, ah, enjoying himself. Ugh! Ick! ("Look, Ma, no hands!")

What an a-hole Jeffrey Toobin is!