Fun with pork-scented technology!

Somewhere along the line, I read that the thing that vegetarians missed the most about meat was bacon.

I don't eat a ton of meat, but I'm not a vegetarian. So I don't have to actually think about it. But I get it.

As much as anything, if I stopped eating meat entirely, I'd miss bacon. I'd miss BLTs, scallops wrapped in bacon, and "American Chop Suey" (hamburg and macaroni, greatly improved by the presence of bacon). I don't eat a ton of bacon-and-egg breakfasts, but there really is nothing like a little bakey sandwich on buttered toast. 

And, ah, the smell of bacon.

Doggos are right here: it's wonderfully alluring. 

But would I want to be breathing it in while out there walking around with my mask on?

Well, no.

And I suspect most people feel the same way. 

That, of course, hasn't stopped the folks in Hormel's Black Label Bacon group from "inventing" a face masks redolent of bacon. They've just launched:

"Breathable Bacon," what it calls "a revolutionary face mask featuring the latest in pork-scented technology." (Source: USA Today)

Pork-scented technology? Who knew there even was such a thing? And why would someone have invented it in the first place?

Come to think of it, I probably know the answer.

When I was in business school, some folks from the research firm Arthur D. Little spoke to a marketing class. Which is where I learned that dogfood makers add special chemicals to make the dogfood smell like something humans might want to eat. Dogs don't need the additive. They already have a good sense of scent. But us humans like to think that Fido is fine dining on beef stew.

So I guess there is sort of a need for pork-scented technology. And I also guess it will help improve the palatability of vegetarian and vegan food alternatives - like fake bacon.

Anyway, from a marketing point of view, this is a fun idea. Especially given that a) Hormel is giving the masks away for free (while supplies last), and b) they'll also be donating as many as 10,000 meals to Feeding America. Which tells me they've made 10,000 of the masks, which I'm absolutely sure will sell out. Or whatever the free giveaway version of sell out is.

Also getting in on the food-smelling mask concept is Jack-in-the-Box, which is coming out with a mask that smells like chicken. It will be used to promote the fake chicken product (UnChicken) that they've recently debuted. (But does it taste like chicken?)

Meanwhile, the bacon-ish face mask is nothing compared with some of the other ideas that Hormel has come up with:

Hormel said its recent innovations include The Black Market, a multisensory virtual reality experience, the development of a musical experience using the sounds of bacon and the world's first bacon-fueled motorcycle.

Want to bet that this will also be the world's only bacon-fueled motorcycle? I mean, I've heard of alternative energy sources, but to quote Joe Biden, 'Come on, man.'

Back to the face masks.

They're going to be our companions for many months to come, and I'm all in favor of having a bit of fun with them. 

This week, I'll be wearing my Halloween-themed face masks. One is orange with black dots, the other is a candy corn print. (I'm hoping breathing through that one will be a reasonable substitute for eating candy corn, which I adore, but which is absolutely worthless as a food stuff. Plus it's addictive.)

Come December, I have a line up of holiday masks. And I've got one ready for St. Patrick's Day.

But a scented mask? I don't know about that.

Why breathe in chemicals when you don't have to? I'll stick with my own fumes. 

Still, Hormel seems to be having fun. Marketing-fun wise, I'd say they're on the pig's back. In this grim world, I almost envy them.