Presidential Chess Set. Too bad it costs too much for a Yankee Swap.

Oh, I know the rudiments of the game - or used to - but I'm not a chess player. Nor am I a collector of things commemorative. So, no, I'm not the target audience for the 2020 Presidential Chess Set. And I'm kinda/sorta wondering just who is. Maybe I've got a rather naive idea about who plays chess, but it doesn't seem to me that a real chess player would actually want a Republicans vs. Democrats chess set.

But you can get one for only $39.95 (marked down from $59.95)! Act now! (That's for the entry level edition. Deluxe is $59.98. And Presidential, with a "luxurious wooden chessboard" is $99.99.)

The pieces represent all three branches of government, but, given that it's a chess set, the branches, alas, aren't co-equal.

Trump is one of the kings, and an empty lectern is set up for Joe Biden (piece shipping later).

Kamala Harris is, of course, the queen. Also shipping later. And that makes Mike Pence a queen, too. Which is, all things considered, rather unfortunate. 

"Handsomely designed." "Incredible detail." Or, if you prefer, "impeccable detail."

"Limited edition." "Shop with confidence." "Numbered certificate of authenticity."

That "numbered certificate of authenticity" sure would help me "shop with confidence." After all, who'd want to get stuck with a Presidential Chess Set that wasn't authentic. 

Alas, the set does nothing to play down the partisan nature of the Supreme Court. Repping for the Repubs: John Roberts and Brett "I like beer" Kavanaugh. And in the other corner, Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Sonia Sotomayor are bishops for the Democrats. 

Then there are the knights: Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy. 

The rooks? Barack Obama and Joe Biden, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. So Joe Biden gets to be two pieces. Cool. 

Elephants and donkeys make up the pawns. When, in fact, the average citizen is the real pawn in this god-awful game.

Each piece was painstakingly designed for likability and accuracy to enhance your chess-playing experience. 

They ain't kidding about painstakingly designed. Just check out Bishop Kav:

Does that put the pain in painstaking or what? As for likability? Harrumph. 

The Presidential Chess Set is actually the perfect Yankee swapper. Too bad it costs so much. But I'll keep an eye on it. The price might go down on November 4th.

In the meantime, here's hoping that the empty podium checkmates King Trump into oblivion.