Party Favors

I suspect, although I have no way of knowing by way of personal experience, that the Hampton's party season is winding down. After all, we're getting to that time of year when it's getting too chilly for the ankles of men who don't wear socks. Or whatever it is they do or don't wear in East Egg and or West Egg. (Tip of the boater to you, F. Scott Fitzgerald.)

So I'm guessing that the demand for Dr. Asma Rashid will be going down. She has had a nifty little practice going this summer giving rapid-results coronavirus tests to party guests. 

Such testing had: 

...become a common feature before guests can be allowed into parties at the affluent seaside communities -- and cost up to $500 per person, says Rashid, who runs a members-only medical concierge service. (Source: CNN)

Just another example - as if we needed one - of "the rich are different than you and me." (Thanks again, F. Scott.)

And as Hemingway famously (or apocryphally) replied: "Yes, they have more money." And I must admit, if you have more money, you do get to spend it on whatever you damned well please. 

It's all relative, of course. I don't go to parties to begin with, but if I did, they wouldn't be parties held by people spending $500 per guest to give them a speedily clean bill of COVID-free health. But it's not as if I don't fritter away plenty of money that someone staring down eviction would absolutely be rolling their eyes at. Just the other night, I sat here pondering whether to order two pairs of Allbirds I don't need, rather than one. (I went with one, by the way.)

But there is something a bit 'let them eat cake'-ish about grabbing up rapid tests that, presumably, could be used by front line medical personnel, or school teachers, or first responders, or grocery store employees, or workers in meat processing plants. Or those who want to go visit elderly relatives or meet the new baby in the family. Or any folks doing something more essential than partying on the lawn. 

"Instead of having hors d'oeuvres at the party, now the theme is let's do rapid testing," Rashid told CNN's Anderson Cooper this week.

Something tells me that those tests aren't a substitute for hors d'oeuvres, but in addition to. Pass the smoked salmon and caviar on cuke, the squash flower flatbread, the nasal swab. 

Of course, the tests do sometimes throw off false positives and false negatives. But mostly they're right. In any case, Dr. Rashid's tests - nasal swab or finger stick - come with a disclaimer. For Hampton's partiers, it's worth the risk. And at least they're trying to be cautious. 

Unlike a July gig:

Some parties have made headlines for defying social distancing rules. In July, state authorities said they're investigating a drive-in benefit concert in Southhampton that violated social distancing guidelines. The benefit was billed as a socially-distanced drive-in concert, headlined by The Chainsmokers.

But instead, it "involved thousands of people in close proximity, out of their vehicles ... and generally not adhering to social distancing guidance," New York State Health Commissioner Dr. Howard Zucker said at the time.

That benefit concert wasn't all EDM. It really was a benefit for some kiddo-supporting charities. But it wasn't organized by do-gooders, but rather by "a leading luxury travel & lifestyle agency." And I'm guessing that they made a bit off of the event. (As they say on The Sopranos, they wet their beak.)

But the Chainsmokers' concert, despite the performing presence of the Goldman Sachs CEO who doubles as a DJ, and despite the fact that tickets cost as much as $25K, wasn't a real Hampton-y type of par-tay. Seems a tad bit hoi-polloi-ish to me.

When it comes to COVIC, it's not that rich, white Hampton-y types have that much too worry about. It's not like they're working in a slaughterhouse or anything. (I should talk. The little local hand-out paper just published stats for COVID instances by neighborhood. My neighborhood, which is ultra white, and predominately upper middle class (me) and just plain ultra upper class (the people next door), has an instance that's about one third of that being experienced in minority areas.)

Throughout the pandemic, the heavily-populated, just outside NYC side of Long Island has had pretty high COVID instances and death rates. But:

"Luckily in the Hamptons we are not seeing a lot of positive results. There are not many cases," Rashid says.

Rashid admits that even she, with all the strings that she and her clients - or are they patients? - can pull, sometimes has a hard time getting her hands on the rapid tests. Which is not something that anyone - other than a Hampton's host - is going to lose much sleep over. 

But if the rich folks are gobbling up the rapid tests, can you imagine how ugly it's going to get when a working vaccine becomes available?