Don't worry, about a thing. Just avoid the bad hand sanitizers.

It's hard now to recall the exact timeline for the end of before time. 

When did we start panicking about hand sanitizer? When did we start haunting Etsy to find masks? What was the last time we went out to dinner? When were the t.p. shortages? When did paper towels disappear from the shelves? Etc. 

I'm pretty sure face mask meshugas was early April. That the last supper out was in early March. And that hand sanitizer was the first harbinger of what was to come. So I'll peg it to February. 

In drips and drabs, in onesies and twosies, I ended up with plenty of hand sanitizer. Some is CVS brand. Some is Purell. I have a couple of small bottles of Meyer's that I got at the hardware store. A few larger bottles - one from my sister Trish, one from my friend Joe, one I found on my own. 

For Easter - when we thought we were going to be getting together for dinner to celebrate a religious holiday, even though we're all atheists; but, family - I had ordered a bunch of cute little birdie hand sanitizers. Three little birds! Don't worry, about a thing. 'Cause every little thing's, gonna be alright. 

We never got together for family Easter, but I've seen everyone since, and they've all gotten their party favor. (Nice touch: in the bottom, there are little wipes. Not so nice: disappointingly, the aqua ones were sold out, so I had to settle for white and gray.)

During the period when I was accumulating all these hand sanitizers, two things were happening.

First, I was a whirlwind sanitizer. Just not so much with hand sanitizers. 

No Clorox wipes? No problem. I made my own daily mix of bleach and water to spray on my doorknobs, kitchen counters, faucets. (You need to make it daily or thereabouts, because bleach loses its effectiveness fast.)

When I got back from a walk - even if I didn't touch a thing while I was out - I soaked my keys in isopropyl alcohol.

I use alcohol wipes to wipe down my glasses, my phone, and the ID I carried in my pocket. (For whatever reason, alcohol wipes, which never seemed to fall out of supply.)

And although I didn't go anywhere, I didn't go anywhere without a bottle of hand sanitizer in my pocket.

But, the second thing is this: As it turns out that, because I don't go anywhere, I don't really use much hand sanitizer.

I wash my hands a lot, surgical scrub to Happy Birthday or Thunder Road, using whatever liquid hand soap I have around. And I have quite a supply.

When I'm in a store, and there's a sanitizer dispenser, I'll take a squirt. But mostly, I don't use hand sanitizer. And I really don't need it. 

I suppose that if I ever do get out of the house for something other than a grocery or drugstore run, if I ever need to use a public restroom, I'll be happy to have my supply. But right about now, that supply I do have is looking almost lifetime.

Since most of what I have is Purell or Purell wannabe from CVS, I'm not worried about whether it's any good.

But the FDA is doing some worrying for all of us, and they've identified 135 versions of hand sanitizer that are no good, and they're urging us hand sanitizing types to avoid them.

...because they lack a sufficient level of alcohol to kill germs or because they contain dangerous and potentially deadly levels of wood alcohol...Many of the products’ labels say they contain ethanol (also known as ethyl alcohol) but FDA tests show that they contain methanol, or wood alcohol...

Methanol can be toxic when absorbed through the skin, the agency said in an advisory, and can cause blindness. It can be lethal if ingested. (Source: WaPo)

What doesn't make you stronger can kill you?

Anyway, because some of the products are improperly labeled, it's tough for consumers to figure out which ones to avoid. And it's especially worrisome that they've been sold at reputable stores, like BJ's, Costco and Walmart. For the most part, the pisspoor hand sanitizers are being produced by those that are new to the game. They're first time sanitizers that have "failed to ensure rigorous product quality."

A handful of people have died, and dozens hospitalized, from ingesting hand sanitizer that contains methanol. No, they're not all following the Prime Directive issued from the Oval Office. Some of those who've died are alcoholics. Which doesn't make it a good thing, just a more understandable one. (This reminds me of a guy my husband and I saw lying in a gutter in South Boston on the day of the St. Patrick's Day parade. This was way back, before liquor stores were open on Sundays. Anyway, the poor bastard was there, clutching a bottle of Listerine. Which reminded us of the scene in the movie Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex in which a shepherd, distraught over his unrequited love for one of his charges, ends up in the gutter guzzling from a bottle of Woolite.) And if someone's gone blind, or been killed, thanks to mislabeled hand sanitizer, I'm thinking law suit time. 

The FDA also advises Americans to be wary of products that claim to be “FDA-approved,” as none exist, or say they provide protection for “up to 24 hours.”

Got it!

Meanwhile, I'm good at the moment. If you want to see the list of the must avoids, here  you go.