Tinner, tinner, turkey dinner

I happen to like turkey dinner. I like turkey. I like mashed potatoes. I like stuffing. I like gravy. I like most veggies, too. And I like turkey dinner leftovers. The only problem I have with turkey dinner is that it's pretty much dished up and out only twice a year, and those dates - Thanksgiving and Christmas - are pretty much within a month of each other. 

Although I never actually make a turkey dinner - my sister Kath does Thanksgiving, my cousin Babs does Christmas - I have observed it closely enough over the years to recognize that it's a pain in the arse in a way that, say, making a lasagna and a tossed salad is not.

All hail those who put a turkey dinner on the table!

But there are some folks who don't have the opportunity to sit down and enjoy a turkey dinner with friends and family. Some of them are those experiencing homelessness. This is, of course, a tough way to live, but if you're homeless - at least in a major city - you probably have a number of options on where to go for a Christmas feast, as plenty of organizations serve up holiday meals with all the fixings. (Including St. Francis House, New England's largest day shelter for those experiencing homelessness and poverty, which deserves support and donations all year round, but especially during the winter months in an area with nasty weather. E.g., Boston.)

Then there are those who can't take time away from gaming to sit down with family or stop by a shelter. Because gaming, apparently, is 24/7/3656. 


While gamers may got game, they still need to eat. So British tech retailer, GAME, created a canned version of a turkey dinner.

I don't want you to strain your eyes trying to read what's in that can, so here goes:


Layer 1 - Scrambled egg & bacon
Layer 2 - Two mince pies
Layer 3 - Turkey & potatoes
Layer 4 - Gravy
Layer 5 - Bread sauce
Layer 6 - Cranberry sauce
Layer 7 - Brussel sprouts with stuffing or broccoli with stuffing
Layer 8 - Roast carrots and parsnips
Layer 9 - Christmas pudding


Event by historic British cuisine standards, this one's a gag-fest. I'd rather eat holly. I'd rather eat ivy. I'd rather eat a Christmas stocking. I'd rather eat Spam. And I'd much rather eat the vegan version.

Layer 1 - Nut roast
Layer 2 - Mushroom wellington
Layer 3 - Sprouts
Layer 4 - Toblerone
Layer 5 - Roast parsnips
Layer 6 - Halloumi pigs and tempeh bacon
Layer 7 - Cauliflower cheese
Layer 8 - Yule log
Layer 9 - Veggie gravy
Layer 10 - Gingerbread pancake
Layer 11 – Cranberry sauce
Layer 12 - Potatoes


I like nut roast, and halloumi pigs with tempeh bacon sounds tasty enough. I don't quite get the Yule log in the middle, rather than at the end. Maybe it's a vegan thing.

This tinner turkey dinner has been around for a few years, and I'm guessing that it started out pretty tongue in cheek. (Because if your tongue is in your cheek, you can't actually eat anything.) But it's caught on - enough so that there was a demand for a vegan variant - and the tinners (which only cost 2 pounds) have sold out. Whether anyone's actually opened a can and eaten the innards is another story. 

Don't know if they're available in the US, but what an excellent Yankee swap a few cans of these would make.
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Sources: NY Post and delish.