I saw the other day that a few Toys R Us stores are going to be re-opening. Actually, it’s not even a few. It’s two. And they’re going to be smaller than the stores that closed. And more “experiential.” As if shopping at a Toys R Us wasn’t experiential enough. (At least it was if you went to the one in Times Square with the indoor rollercoaster.)
Something’s better than nothing, I guess. 2 > 0 and all that.
And speaking of something being better than nothing, the Toys R’ Us bankruptcy judge threw a few bucks the employees’ way. Which for the 33,000 Toys R Us employees that got laid off when the chain’s outlets were shuttered translates into about $60 each.
Which would give those former employees enough to head on over to Amazon and buy a Barbie Chicken Farmer Doll & Playset AND a Lego Avengers set. Plus have a few bucks left over for a couple of Happy Meals.
Which ought to hold ‘em.
While the workers fund was was given $2M to make up for the severance they were promised but stiffed on, the law firm that represented Toys R Us during their bankruptcy proceedings was granted $56M in fees.
Sounds fair to me.
After all, Kirkland & Ellis is a highly esteemed firm. And they could use that $56M to help make a contribution to sustaining their revenues – which last year were $3.76B. And to help ensure that the partners take of the profits are at least as hefty as they were in 2018: $5M per partner.
I am, of course, not arguing that Toys R Us clerks should make as much as attorneys at Kirkland & Ellis. Brain surgeons should make more than garbage men. Coders should make more than burger flippers. Etc.
Pay should be at least somewhat commensurate with education, skill, value contributed… Of course, with lawyers, the value contributed is subject to argument.
I know, I know. When a company files Chapter 11, severance payouts move to the bottom of the priority heap. Given that, the employees were lucky to get that $60. And I also read somewhere that the former owners of Toys R’ Us did make a $20M contribution to a fund for laid off workers.
But jeeza Louisa.
I’d like to see exactly what Kirkland & Ellis did to earn that $56M.
Maybe they should have switched the awards. After all, $56M is a relatively paltry sum, given Kirkland & Ellis’ multi-billion earnings. It would fund a mere fraction of partner profits. But if equally split, those 33,000 Toys R’ Us workers would have pocketed about $1,700 a piece. Not bad if you’re making next to nothing to begin with.
And you know what? Even if they require minimal skills, retail jobs are tough. No, all 33,000 of those employees weren’t manning the cash registers or stocking the shelves. They were in finance, buying, marketing, logistics, HR, and – yes! – legal…. But for the ill-paid workers on the floor, the work is grinding. You’re on your feet. Customers are often hard to deal with. And it can be boring. Very boring.
And those boring, grinding jobs are going away. Not just because of the usual suspect, i.e., Amazon. But because they’re being automated away.
CVS has done away with many of its clerks. They push you towards self-check out and then, when that doesn’t work – which is about 50% of the time, as far as I can tell, mostly around bagging your merch – you cool your heels and wait for a helper to come over and swipe a magic card for you.
Uber drivers will be dodo birded by self-driving cars. Teamsters by self-driving trucks. Amazon stockers by robots.
So the bigger problem is not Toys R’ Us. Or the greed-heads at Kirkland & Ellis. It’s the fact that all these grinding, boring, low pay jobs are disappearing. And everyone just seems to be keeping their fingers crossed that something will appear to replace them.
Maybe we’ll just have to take Andrew Yang (one of the multitude Democratic presidential candidates) up on his offer of $1K a month guaranteed income. (Yang for President!)
Anyway, let Kirkland & Ellis enjoy the bounty while it lasts. No reason to believe that AI ain’t coming for them next…
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Sources: for general info on the bankruptcy awards CBS News, for Kirkland & Ellis data: Chicago Business.
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