“There are results, and then there are excuses.”

If you look at Michael Avenatti’s website, you’ll see a rotating banner floating pithy statements, presumably from the man himself. First up when I looked: “There are results, and then there are excuses.”

When Avenatti lands in court, it will be interesting to see just what his excuses are – and what the results end up being. From the sounds of it, if the multiple allegations prove true, he’ll be sporting an orange jump suit.

For those who’ve already forgotten Michael Avenatti – understandable, given the large and dynamic cast of characters who’ve achieved speaking parts in the shit show known as the Trump Presidency – he’s the lawyer who represented Stormy Daniels, the porn star one-night-stand Trump silenced with a good-sized payout.

I saw plenty of Avenatti during his run on the show, as he was a frequent guest on MSNBC, which I am a frequent watcher of.

What was not to like? Avenatti is a brash, big-talking, good looking anti-Trump. When it comes to pundits, I don’t require brashness, big talk, or a telegenic face. Thus my fondness for the calm, sober-side, bordering on soporific Chuck Rosenberg, also a frequent MSNBC talking head.

But Avenatti was wildly entertaining, and watching him was fun while it lasted.

His charms began to wear thin for me when he dropped hints that he was considering a run for the presidency. Huh? This was before the Democrats had 647 declared candidates, yet even way back when, I thought Avenatti was one too many.

And then there was the allegation that he had dragged his girlfriend across the floor of his apartment. She got a restraining order; he dodged a felony charge when the LA County DA decided to make it a misdemeanor.

But it didn’t sound all that good, and then and there I dumped Avenatti in favor of the Chuck Rosenbergs of the world of cable news punditry.

Then news started to emerge that Avenatti wasn’t just a flashy, celeb attorney. He is, if the charges hold up, a serial thief and all-round nogoodnik.

He was arrested in New York in March by FBI agents on charges he had threatened to reveal damaging allegations against Nike if they did not pay him millions.

Separately, federal prosecutors in Los Angeles have filed a 36-count indictment against Avenatti, alleging he swindled clients and sought to cover up financial chicanery in other schemes.

That indictment charges Avenatti “would misrepresent, conceal, and falsely describe to the client” the details of their settlement and its funds, routing the money instead into accounts he controlled. He would use the money for himself and lie to clients about whether the settlements were being paid or delayed, the indictment stated.

In one instance, Avenatti allegedly redirected $2.5 million intended for one of his clients to buy a private airplane for his company. Federal officials have since seized the jet. (Source: Washington Post)

The shakedown of Nike involved Avenatti threatening to blow the whistle on illegal payments the company had made to high school b-ballers. Wouldn’t surprise me to find out that Nike is, indeed, guilty of just doing it. That still doesn’t excuse the extortion, however.

In one of the bilk-a-client cases, he’s accused of funneling all but $124K of a $4 million payout into his own coffers. The client was a mentally ill man. Oh, and Avenatti supposedly screwed up the fellow’s Social Security application, so he now has no source of income.

The latest indictment alleges that Avenatti pocketed around $300K from Stormy Daniels – proceeds from her book deal, which went in part to pay for his $3.9K per month payments for his Ferrari. Man’s gotta drive what man’s gotta drive.

Avenatti, naturally, denies it all. See you in court, pal!

He’s also apparently in a snit about not being invited to defend himself on the very cable shows – largely CNN and MSNBC – where he had been such a welcome guest when he was pushing the Stormy Daniels story. Oh, boohoo. (The worst part of the story, other than stealing from the mentally ill client, is that Fox News’ ultra-execrable Tucker Carlson was apparently on to Avenatti from the jump. Sigh.)

Embezzlement (especially of the large scale variety) is one of those crimes that I find pretty unfathomable. Is it that people start small – stealing a few bucks to tide them over – and, when they get away with it, keep on upping the ante with the belief that they’re never going to get caught? But it seems to me that a lot of them do get caught. Top of head, I’ve got: the kids hockey league treasurer who stole enough to buy her husband a fancy car and herself every Pandora bracelet charm in the world. The bookkeeper for the local construction firm who ripped off enough to build a fancy home in Vermont, where she hosted a splosh wedding for her brother that included a paid appearance by Burt Bachrach. (You really can’t make this stuff up.) The local parking meter collectors who brought home bags of quarters – enough bags full to buy homes in a far nicer suburb than their pay would have earned for them. (One of the wives, who was observed paying for groceries with rolls of quarters, was quoted as saying she just thought her husband was a good provider.)

Seriously, I think that most employers would take a shot at hiring someone who’d been found guilty of murder before they’d offer a job to someone who’d been in prison for stealing from their company.

What are people thinking?

Surely, Michael Avenatti, what with his chutzpah, flash, charm and brains, was capable of making a pretty good living. Is enough never enough?

And speaking of enough…

Oddly enough, Avenatti – like Trump – has an undergraduate degree from Penn. (This, of course, means nothing. My brother-in-law was in Trump’s class at Wharton/Penn. These things happen.) And oddly enough, Avenatti  - like William Barr – has a law degree from George Washington.

Nothing to make, really, of those educational coincidences, but still interesting.

Anyway, another banner saying on Avenatti’s site is this:

“If you can’t take a punch, you don’t belong in the ring.”

He’ll find out soon enough.