Well, tomorrow is the running of the 145th Kentucky Derby.
As usual, I will not be donning a big hat or flowing, flowery dress.
I will not be wagering a bet.
I will not be watching those high-priced ponies tearing around Churchill Downs.
The Sport of Kings just ain’t my cup of Mint Julep.
The closest I ever got to the horsey set was an old guy who lived in my neighborhood growing up. Mr. Downey had a rackety old barn behind his house – which, oddly enough, was in a densely packed urban neighborhood. But, why not? The barn was broken down enough that we could sneak in and look at the old junk – radios from the 1930’s, broken vacuum cleaners, dried up paint cans – that was stored within. A child’s delight. Bonus points because the barn was creepy and broken down.
In the 1930’s, that barn, I believe, also served as an occasional stable of sorts for Mr. Downey’s horse, Billy Direct.
Billy Direct was a harness racing horse, and he was no slouch. He is, in fact, a Harness Racing Immortal and member of the Harness Racing Hall of Fame.
We knew about Billy Direct because we lived in the same ‘hood my father had grown up in, and Mr. Downey lived kitty-corner across the street from my grandmother’s. Living with Mr. Downey was his nephew Alton, who had gone to high school with my father.
So we were practically related, although they were Protestants, so we couldn’t have been.
(Alton, by the way, had a Catholic girlfriend, Martina, who he had been dating from high school on. Alas, they could not get married until Mr. Downey and Martina’s parents died. Fortunately, that eventually happened and the happy couple was hitched by their 35th South High Reunion.
Other than Billy Direct, most of what I know about horses comes from watching Westerns on TV as a kid.
Roy Rogers’ Trigger. Gene Autry’s Champion. My Friend Flicka. Fury.
That and local kiddie show star Rex Trailer’s Goldrush. One of the most exciting things that happened to my friend Bernadette was when her family came upon Rex and Goldrush with a flat tire and helped them out.
As for actually pressing any horseflesh, I’ve never been on a horse that wasn’t wooden and going in around in circles.
And I’ve only been to the track – Narragansetts, Suffolk Downs - a few times.
My betting MO was always the same. Spend no more than $10 over the course of an evening – $2 bets only! And pick the horses intuitively, based on some combo of the jockey’s silks and the horse’s name. Surprisingly, this usually worked out well enough for the $10 to last through all the races.
I would be hard put to pick a win, place, or show based on the names of the horses running in this year’s Derby:
TACITUS
WIN WIN WIN
HAIKAL
GAME WINNER
MAXIMUM SECURITY
CUTTING HUMOR
SPINOFF
WAR OF WILL
CODE OF HONOR
ROADSTER
BY MY STANDARDS
PLUS QUE PARFAIT
LONG RANGE TODDY
VEKOMA
IMPROBABLE
GRAY MAGICIAN
TAX
COUNTRY HOUSE
BODEXPRESS
MASTER FENCER (JPN)
Okay. A few are okay: Maximum Security, War of Will, Country House. With the 75th anniversary of D-Day looming, Omaha Beach would have been a good one, but it scratched. So I’d have to go with Roadster or Cutting Humor. (And the silks are reasonably good: pink and white for Roadster, blue and yellow for Cutting Humor.)
So just as well I won’t be there with my $2 parlay.
Even without my two bucks, there’s big money on the line for both bettors and horses. It’s estimated that $200M will be wagered on the Derby Day. And the prize money for the horses is nearly $2M.
At stake is a win that can add millions to a horse’s value and set it on the path to chasing the most lucrative title in equine sports: the Triple Crown. Already in their short careers, the 20 contenders have won a combined $12.5 million for their owners, jockeys and trainers. (Source: Bloomberg)
But the big money’s not in the purse. It’s that “horse’s value” that matters.
When their racing careers end, males become studs. They can command as much as $100K for a stud fee, and may be put out to that particular pasture as many as 100 times a year.
The real studs can charge even more. Last year, Justify won the Triple Crown (Kentucky Derby, Belmont, Preakness). He’s now home on the range and is expected to rake in $75M over the next few years.
Most race horses, of course, don’t make anywhere near the big bucks:
Out of all the horses that raced in North America last year, fewer than 4 percent earned more than $100,000, according to bloodstock analyst Bill Oppenheim.
Which is, of course, more than most Americans earn. But not that much if you’re talking about horse shoes, stables, and oats.
Anyway, no Kentucky Derby for me. Still, may the best nag win and all that.
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