Pancake & Syrup Peeps? That’s just plain WRONG!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a Fan o’ Peeps.

Mostly I’m an originalist. It’s not Easter as far as I’m concerned unless I’ve bitten the head off a fresh, yellow chick Peep. I’m also down with the yellow chick Peeps sitting on a chocolate marshmallow nest. Adding chocolate just makes it Peep perfection.

I’m also okay with seasonal Peeps: snow Peeps at Christmas, jack o’lantern Peeps for Halloween.

Plus I’m an admirer of those who create Peep-o-Ramas, dioramas that depict scenes from popular culture, works of art, etc. – constructed primarily out of Peeps. For years, the Washington Post ran an annual Peeps Diorama Contest that drew many witty and brilliant entries. Alas, they packed it in a couple of years ago. Fortunately, the idea had caught on, and a number of other groups have picked up the slack. As Easter nears, I will be on the lookout for the Best of 2019.

There are some recipes that are based on Peeps. Weird, but…I’ve never baked or otherwise created a dessert that involves Peeps, but never say never.

Where I do draw a firm line is at this year’s ghastly flavored Peeps.

Cotton Candy? Pancakes & Syrup? Party Cake? Root Beer Float? Say it isn’t so!

But wait, there’s more! And they’re even worse. Chocolate Caramel Swirl. And – yikes – Tropical Fruit Punch, the color (bright red) and flavor (sweet yuck) of Hawaiian Punch.

I did love Hawaiian Punch as a kid, but talk about a “flavor” that has not even the vaguest of resemblances to anything found in nature. Not that a cherry Life Saver tastes like an actual cherry. And grape-flavored anything just tastes like grape-flavored anything. Distinctive, but nothing to do with grapes.

It’s been decades – many decades – since I last took a swig of Hawaiian Punch, and I can still remember the cloyingly sweet taste.

So Tropical Fruit Punch Peeps? No, no, a thousand times no.

And what in God’s name does Party Cake taste like? Bland no-taste white cake?

Does Pancakes & Syrup mean that Peeps are now a breakfast food? Not that I haven’t had Peeps for breakfast, but come on.

Part of my problem is that I’m not a big fan of brand extensions. They’re fine up to a point, but they always end up going too far.

Plain or peanut, I love M&M’s. I’m fine with their creating special color mixes for different holidays. Someday, for some occasion – perhaps my funeral? – I wouldn’t mind having personalized monogrammed M&Ms. (Blue, green, and orange, maybe? Some can say MER, other RIP.) And I sort of like the coconut version.

But why gunk up near-perfection with Pretzel, Caramel, and Crispy?

Not to mention the dark chocolate ones. 

Generally, I prefer dark to milk chocolate. But Dark Chocolate M&M’s just don’t taste like M&M’s.

Don’t get me going on the multiple versions of toothpaste and cold medicine. One of the reasons I patronize my local non-chain pharmacy – other than that they are just wonderful – is that, unlike CVS, they don’t have hundreds of variations on a toothpaste and cold medicine theme. The less time I spent debating whitener vs. tartar vs. breath freshener, or wondering what combination of sore throat, nasal congestion, and hacking cough my impending cold is composed of, the better.

Too Many Choices!

And when it comes to those flavored Peeps, Too Many BAD Choices!

Oh, I suppose that they’ll sell plenty of the new Peeps on the block, if only for the novelty. But, yuck. Just luck. I’d like to have been a fly on the wall of some of those focus groups. Just imagine the flavors that were rejected. Bubble Gum? Cap’n Crunch? Mountain Dew?

I remain committed to Peeps, and look forward to biting the head off that first yellow chick. A taste and consistency like no other, in a good way.

No way, on those other flavors.

When it comes to Peeps, the original is still the greatest.