My sister Trish is a dedicated follower of pricey, out there fashion. She has a truly impeccable eye for finding the latest outré outrage. So without further ado, I give you Y/Project’s Denim Panties, available at the cut rate price of $315 from Ssense.
That, is they’re available if you wear size 4, 6, or 8, since Ssense claims that they’re all out of 10’s (Large), 12’s (XL), and 14’s (XXL ) – at least that’s are how I interpret their sizing. Of course, I used the LL Bean size chart size as a point of comparison, and I can only imagine that the correlation between women who buy jeans from LL Bean and those in the market for denim panties for $315 is just about zero. Whatever the “true” sizes these panties come in, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ssense wasn’t stocking a ton in those hefty-gal sizes to begin with.
What is there to say about these denim panties, other than that they look supremely uncomfortable, not to mention just plain ridiculous.
Back in the day – 50 years and 30 pounds ago - I wore cut-off jeans, which we made for ourselves by cutting off jeans once the knees gave out and the bottoms got torn-and-worn, and wearing the frayed and fraying shorts. As I recall, once the pocket started drifting down below the jean-line, this was an early-warning that your butt cheeks were likely starting to hang out the backside. So it was time to rag-bag the shorts. As I also recall, in 1973, I made the mistake of wearing a pair on the streets of Izmir, Turkey and ended up with my thigh being grabbed by a young Turk.
Cut-offs were supposedly comfortable. After all, in hot weather, they were so much cooler than wearing long-form jeans. But denim cut-offs were heavy and sweaty. They chafed. They rode up. Young Turk thigh-grabber aside, they were anything but comfortable.
As undies (with, no surprise, limited butt coverage) I suspect they’re even worse.
And speaking of comfort, the model wearing them is also wearing 6 inch heels. At least in my cut-off wearing days, we were smart enough to wear them with Dr. Scholl’s sandals or thongs. (That’s what flip-flops were called in the pre-historic era when I was wearing cut-offs. This was before anyone conceived of what we now know of as a thong, speaking of non-comfortable attire. Not that I know that up close and personal, but I do have a pretty good imagination.)
My sisters and I did a bit of text speculation on what occasion these denim panties would be worn.
My sister Kath cracked the code: “Dukes of Hazard” fetish party?
I’d rather not think about what that soiree would entail, but it’s not a far reach to think that a next-gen Daisy Duke would up the panty and wear a pair. Even though they sort of resemble a chastity belt. Just saying.
The retailer that’s selling these is Ssense, the retail antithesis of LL Bean. (That is, other than that both seem to specialize in unisex apparel.)
Their site is a total trip. The sort of trip you’d expect from a retailer that styles itself as not your “typical e-commerce entity as we explore the nexus of content, commerce, and culture.”
Hey, the nexus of content, commerce, and culture? Sounds like Pink Slip. Maybe I can get a gig or two there? A few pieces from the LL Bean, zaftig, old geezer perspective.
Here’s a bit from a recent blog post:
The designer’s strength for not just referencing references (and legacy), but destabilising them. Hybrid fashion’s pedigree is pure machine—though admirably and never shyly useless by nature. Because hybrid fashion is intentionally designed to perform a simple task—to wear—but achieved in an overcomplicated way, like Rube Goldberg machines. (Source: Ssense)
Referencing references? For a moment there I thought I had stumbled on a lit-crit deconstructionist website. (The section above was extracted from a para that also talked about Exquisite Corpses and futurist doilies…)
This post also included this pic of “future wear”.
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