Some things are just plain wrong

A couple of weeks ago, I was at Bed Bath & Beyond.

Now I love BB&B, where you can find all sorts of necessary items, and where you can always find necessary items you didn’t realize were necessary until you saw them at BB&B. Anyway, other than Staples, it’s one of my favorite places to shop.

I was there for necessary items: a comforter and sheet set for a Secret Santa event at St. Francis House. St. Francis is primarily a day shelter, offering all sorts of services, but it also has 56 units of supported housing for folks who are mostly back on their feet but aren’t quite ready to live on their own. (Each resident has their own bedroom – with a door that locks! – and shares bathroom, living room, and kitchen facilities.) Anyway, the house wants to make sure that each of the residents has something under the tree for Christmas. The name I got was looking for some new bedding.

While I was there, I also spied a nifty wastebasket that would make a nice replacement for the crappy one I have in my upstairs bathroom. Alas, I couldn’t juggle both it and the bedding, so picking up a wastebasket will be a BB&B excursion for another day. Hope the one I like is still available!

While I was there, I also spied some truly unnecessary items that must have Chinese factory workers scratching their heads in puzzlement at American consumers.

Even though I grew up in a house where the toilet seat lids were covered, I really don’t get them at all. I don’t see that they add much to bathroom decor, but to each their own. At least they’re better than those colossally unsanitary, totally yucky chenille toilet seat covers. Oh. My. Anyway, my family’s toilet lid covers – and the matching covers to for the toilet tank - were plain yellow. They were washed regularly, but they weren’t changed seasonally.

Not like these cheery little Santa and snowman lid covers – with matching rug-een to wrap around the base of the toilet. And if I don’t get the purpose of the lid cover, I really don’t get the utility of a wrap around rug. Certainly, on a chilly morning, it’s nice to put your tootsies on a warm rug rather than a cold floor. But something that’s so close to that toilet base? That’s just inviting trouble, especially if the toilet is ever used by a guy with less than perfect aim. Talk about totally yucky.

These are, of course, un-necessities that would never ever ever make it into my cart.

Nor would this sucker:

I’m all in favor of the Yankee Swap gag gift. (Just wait until everyone sees what I’ve got in store for this Christmas Eve. Hope I remember where I stowed it…) But this football-themed inflatable ring toss seems especially lame-o. Perhaps I’m just being pissy here. This is, of course, preferable to the unpictured gag gift next to it, which was a putting set designed for someone sitting on a – wait for it – toilet. Maybe the folks who use that are the ones that the chenille toilet seat covers are made for.

As I said, factory workers in China must be nearly overcome with wtf moments. Or perhaps they’re inured.

The worse thing I saw on that shopping trip was not, however, either of these choice items from BB&B. No, it was on sale – and on display – at the Red Sox store just down the street.

I loved old number 6 – that would be Johnny Pesky – but if I had $125 to spend on a dress, it wouldn’t be this cheesily made and fugly one. And much as I love the Red Sox – and I own a handful of t-shirts, a fleece, two pairs of earrings and a bunch of caps – I can’t see anyone wearing this schmatta.

I’m betting that these will be on drastic markdown any day now. But even if the markdown is drastic enough to put it in Yankee Swap range ($20 limit), I would not be buying this dress. I do believe it’s the ugliest piece of Red Sox merch I’ve ever seen. What in MLB were people thinking who designed this one?

Some things are just plain wrong and these items are three of them.

The good news is that I’m pretty much done my shopping. So unless and until I head out to BB&B for that wastebasket, I will not be exposed to any more ridiculous holiday items.