Nothing says the holiday season is about to kick off like the arrival of the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book.
Not that I actually receive the N-M Christmas Book. Although one of my oldest and dearest of friends was a buyer there for years, I’m not sure that I’ve ever purchased anything at Neiman-Marcus. I may have bought an umbrella for my mother there years ago. Then again, that umbrella may have been the only item I ever purchased at Saks. It was one of those joints.
Since I don’t get the hard copy of the Christmas Book, instead of sitting around, casually leafing through glossy paper, I have to thumb through it on line, or download a pdf, so I can graze.
My grazing always takes me immediately to the ultimate grazer’s feedbag: the Fantasy Gift section.
I’m not sure whose fantasies these gifts are. Not mine. Yet they are always so wonderfully over the top, they always bring a little smile to my face. Or a shock and awe look. One of the other. Sometimes both.
So here goes my stroll through of this year’s Fantasy Gifts.
If you want to treat yourself and three of your friends to a spin around India, Nepal, Bhutan, and the Maldives, “bespoke travel purveyor Black Tomato” can handle the deets for you for a mere $630K. The four lucky ducks:
…will travel by private jet, staying in luxurious style in award-winning five-star hotels, chic safari-style tents, and secluded lodges constructed just for them. Appealing to wellness gurus and adventure seekers alike, activities include time with yoga masters, naturopathy experts, Hindu priests, and monks, along with breathtaking helicopter tours of the Himalayas and island cruises via yacht.
I would like to see those secret bits of the Taj Mahal that only Black Tomato has the key to. And I like the fact that the Nepal trip ends at the base of Everest, not to summit. Not to mention that Bhutan always winds up Numero Uno on the list of happiest countries on earth.
As for the Maldives, I’m not sure what a naturopathy expert is, but I’m wondering whether the priests and monks will be praying that the Maldives don’t sink into the sea, taking the bespoke secluded lodge with them.
Just as glad that they’ve left North Sentinel Island off the list. That’s the place that’s home to a couple of dozen hunter-gatherers who don’t welcome visitors. In fact, they just used their stone age weapons on a missionary who came ashore to convert them.
In any case, I am going somewhere next year. Just not the Maldives with Black Tomato. (And, sorry, as someone with Irish ancestry, I’ve gotta say that Black Tomato is way too close to Black Potato, and that’s a bit too famine-y for me.)
If I were a tennis aficionado I might be interested in paying $555K to go to the four majors with Sloane Stephens. That is, if I’d even heard of Sloane Stephens, who is the 2017 US Open champion. And if I had $555K to hang out with her. If only, I would be able to sit with a friend in Sloane’s VIP box – with her close friends and family, stay in player-only hotels, and lob some balls back and forth with her. No offense to Sloane Stephens, but I’d rather sit in a VIP box with my close friends and family. But I only get to bring one special someone along. Pretty measly for $555K. I mean, I’m pretty sure I could get to Paris, London, NY and Melbourne, find a non-player-stayer hotel, and procure tickets to the matches for more than two people for a lot less than $555K. Sure, we’d miss out on the lobbing session…
A bit more reasonably priced would be one of the Ultimate Backyard Experiences. For $250K you can go for either the Virtue House or the Vice House. Hmmmmm.
Virtue House is a “10’ x 12’ backyard retreat for those in search of serenity.” Well, who isn’t, these days?
This “sanctuary of self care” is “less about indulgence and more about introspection.”
From the art to the finishes, Christina Simon of Mark Ashby Design, who once designed yoga studios, creates luxurious, tranquil spaces and doesn’t miss a single detail.
Sounds pleasant enough, but as someone who’s spent a lifetime brimmed – make that overflowing – with introspection, for $250K I would prefer just a tiny bit more indulgence. Guess I’ll have to stick to lolling around in bed looking at my Twitter feed instead.
On the other hand, the Vice House is just one fun old “hideaway of indulgence.” They tout it as a place to enjoy an expensive cigar, a finely aged whiskey, or “marathon gaming sessions with friends.” So I’m guessing this is meant to be something of a man cave.
Curated by Christina Simon, elegant furnishings, deep wood tones, and lighting that sets the mood create a refuge far removed from day-to-day responsibilities. All the “necessities” for a life of leisure are in reach; there’s even a surround deck—should one choose to venture into the great outdoors.
Wood tones? Deep wood tones? Yep. Man cave.
Virtue or vice? Sigh. Not having a backyard makes the decision to pass a ton easier.
If you haven’t found anything to your liking quite yet, there’s always tomorrow’s post, when I’ll run through the remaining Fantasy Gifts.
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