I don’t usually watch general-purpose news. Too busy Trump-obsessing over on MSNBC. But I did see something a couple of weeks ago on an interesting company in Tennessee that is looking to be the Kelly Girl – errrrr, Kelly Services – of the wonderful world of robotics. For as little as $15 an hour, Hirebotics will put a robot on your shop floor. And they’re so much better than humans:
Our robots love to work! They want to work as many hours a day as you need them…One of the great benefits is there is no overtime, EVER! Work them as many hours a week as you want and you will always pay the same hourly rate regardless of how long the days get. Also, unlike traditional workers which tend to slow down the longer they work…the robots never slow down, no matter how long they work. They also don’t need breaks to go to the bathroom.
Perhaps it’s not intentional, but take a look at the language here.
Human qualities are attributed to the robots. They love to work. They want to work. They don’t take bathroom breaks. They don’t make overtime.
“Traditional workers,” on the other hand, have to pee occasionally. They only love OT when they get paid OT. They grouse. They piss. They moan. And those lousy trad workers – a.k.a., humans – “which tend to slow down”, get tired. Note the “which”. Humans aren’t even given the courtesy of a “who”. They’re more objectified than the robots which, last time I looked, are still the objects here. Just not at Hirebotics.
There’s still a bit of John Henry (not the Red Sox owner; John Henry, the steel driving man) out there. But not for long.
In the very short term, a human can often beat us for speed, but they generally cannot sustain that rate all day like we can.
I guess we do need to acknowledge that, while John Henry did beat the steam-powered drill, he dropped dead shortly thereafter.
But w.r.t. the anthropomorphism, here we go again. A human is something presented as abstract. While we, the royal robot we, can work at breakneck speed all day. Although, of course, “we” have no necks to break. Another plus!
Anyway, as a business proposition, this sounds like a perfect, low-risk way to do an automation proof of concept and bring on temporary robots when you need them. And automation is coming whether the Luddites, or the folks concerned about what low-skill human workers are going to do for work in the future, like it or not.
I do find it mildly amusing, however, to think that while tons of human workers have been forced to participate in the gig economy, robots are getting gigged, too.
Meanwhile, I did check and there are other rent-a-robot outfits out there. But the first couple I looked at seem more focused on renting humanoid robots for entertainment and events.
Robo4Hire is UK company, with robots that are “show-stopping entertainers specifically designed to delight, amuse and amaze humans.”
As with the Hirebotics worker-bee robots, Robo4Hire’s robots are better than humans, what with humans and their human frailties. Wy, they’re “refreshingly reliable after dinner speakers”:
Our robots are a spectacular alternative to the traditional after-dinner speaker.
For award ceremonies, corporate evenings or any other event that requires an entertaining speaker while the brandy is being passed, our robots bring an extra something that people will never forget.
I don’t spend a lot of time a dinners with speakers that aren’t for fundraising purposes. But there are big work event dinners in my past. The only speaker from any of these business dinners who I recall as worth his entertainment salt was the comedian Don Novello. He was hired to appear a corporate dinner as Father Guido Sarducci, a then-popular character from Saturday Night Live. What made this one fun was that the head of sales for the company did a mean Father Guido Sarducci imitation, and was in the process of doing it when the real Father Guido Sarducci walked in.
But, of course, not all business speakers are as entertaining and professional as Don Novello was. So there’s Robo4Hire:
Perhaps most importantly, our robots make sure your event is unforgettable in the best possible way: they won’t slur their words, stray into inappropriate territory or drift off into an awkward silence.
Our robots are refreshingly funny and reliably sober. Exuberant, cheeky and bold, they will get your guests laughing for all the right reasons.
Well, this at least sounds like fun.
But, geez Louise, after-dinner speakers? Who – or is it which – workers aren’t going to be replaced?
So far, no robot bloggers, but it’s just a matter of time.
Looks like I’ll be needing a new gig sooner rather than later.
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