Welcome to Boston, all you sheiks, oligarchs and Kardashian types

I saw today that Kylie Jenner, at 20, is the world’s youngest self-made billionaire. I had to google exactly what she does, but it’s sell makeup.

Anyway, if she ever finds her way to Boston – and I don’t suppose she will: too many thin-lipped old frumps like me here – there’s now a place that she can stay. The John Adams Presidential Suite at the Boston Harbor Hotel, which will run her $15K per night.

First off, I get that it’s the Presidential Suite, and that John Adams was the first president from Boston. But still… Defending the redcoats who killed our boys during the Boston Massacre? Sure, it was all kinds of ACLU-y, but still… And then there was the Alien and Sedition Act. The letters to and from his wife Abagail make up for a bit of it. But still…

That aside:

The suite, which made its debut this week, occupies two levels that were previously used as event space. The palatial 4,800-square-foot suite includes two bedrooms, a large, open concept living room/dining room/bar, a full kitchen, a multimedia room, and 2½ baths. You won’t find any mini bottles in the bar here. It’s filled with top-shelf brands, and the wine fridge is well stocked. If your spirit of choice is missing, the staff will find it for you. Don’t worry, there’s no extra charge for the liquor. If you feel like eating in, or having friends over for a dinner party, meals can be prepared by hotel staff in your kitchen. The dining table seats eight. (Source: Boston Globe)

There’s also a 1,000-square-foot patio – harbor view, natch – that’s almost as large as my condo.

There’s also a private elevator, because if you’re paying $15,000 a night for a hotel room you shouldn’t have to share an elevator with strangers.

In the event that you need more bedrooms, or that 4,800 square feet feels a bit cramped, you can add two bedrooms to the suite for an additional $1,000 a night. If you’re already spending $15,000 a night, what’s another $1,000?

Not sure who-all comes to Boston who’d spring for this sort of spend. The hotel is looking at those in the entertainment biz. I guess I can see George and Amal Clooney and the twins staying there, if they decided they wanted to see where Matt and Ben grew up. The hotel is also expecting that someone coming to town to take advantage of our hospitals might want to have a nice place for family to hang out for the duration, a nice place to recuperate after the procedure. Surely, a really well-to-do person – the kind who could afford to spend $15K a night to shelter in a place – wouldn’t want to stay at the Holiday Inn that’s practically right next door to Mass General.

I can’t share any pictures of the hotel. There are plenty in the article, but The Globe is being remarkably mean-spirited about sharing. Still, it’s safe to say that the decor is more Bostonian than Trumpian. There’s one sort of glitzy chandelier in one of the pics, but mostly it looks like a bit more pumped up version of Restoration Hardware. Even the framed Hermes scarf is something of a salute to fuddy-duddy old Boston, no?

Anyway, I for one am happy that Kylie Jenner, George and Amal, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman, or any number of oligarchs have a place to call home away from home when they’re in our previously humble little town. Not that the oligarchs will be coming here. I’m guessing Mar a Lago would be more to their liking.

Sigh…