Rent-a-shoe? Seriously?

I know, I know.

Folks rent bowling shoes. And ski boots.

But shoe-shoes?

No. Just no.

But DSW thinks that rent-a-shoe could be a winner for them.

“This is something we’ve had a lot of customers ask us for, particularly with special-occasion shoes,” said Christina Cheng, a spokeswoman for DSW. “When it comes to prom or a wedding or a special event, people are usually looking for a very specific shoe in a particular color, that matches a particular dress, that they probably won’t ever wear it again.” (Source: WaPo)

In Ireland and England, people wear big hats – think Ascot Races – to weddings, and these you can rent. (Probably for Ascot, too.) Why, here’s Princess Beatrice, rocking quite the bit of headgear. She probably didn’t rent it. My guess is she was gifted with it. But this is the sort of chapeau that one does rent if one is not the royal type upon whose head someone might want to advertise their wares.

And I know that women are now renting pocketbooks. It didn’t take me long to find this charmer for rent to the tune of $350 a month. Which is a lot more than I’d ever pay for a bag. Then again, I’ve never had the hankering to tote Mona Lisa around on my wrist. Especially with that coral pink bunny dangling off of it. Say what?

So it does make some sense, I guess, to rent a shoe to wear to a wedding. But it still seems kind of gross.

I know it’s not underwear or a bathing suit – sorry – but it’s bad enough wearing rented bowling shoes, where you’ve got a white cotton tennis sock between you and whatever fungal matter that the spray they spritz the shoe with doesn’t get rid of. With a dress shoe, it’s bare naked tootsie (for the younger folks) or a thin sheer scrim of nylon stocking (for us old geezers).

Besides, shoes after they’re worn a few times start conforming to your foot. That’s why homeless shelters are only looking for gently worn shoes that have the potential to actually fit someone. As opposed to a broken-in shoe that can accommodate your flat feet, pronation, and bunions. A shoe broken in by the many, the great unwashed?

So I give this idea a capital Y Yuck. 

But, Cheng added, shoe rental — which the company will begin testing in coming months — also raises a number of logistical questions: How will stores know which styles and sizes to keep on hand? How will they clean them between uses? And how do you determine the cost-per-wear of a bedazzled stiletto?

Not my worry, of course. I suspect that, once the stores figure out which styles and sizes to keep on hand, 11 2A won’t be among them. So, even if I wanted to rent a shoe for the fancy dress ball I will never, ever in a million years go to, it probably won’t be available at DSW.

Anyway, it’s just one of the new ideas that DSW has come up with to get more boots on their ground. Another potential new offering is repair services, which seems like a good idea for those who don’t have the benefit of a very good shoe repair guy just around the corner. And DSW is thinking of putting the Warehouse back in DSW, and offering folks the ability to store their unused shoes there. (Note to shoe people: if you need to pay for warehouse space to store your shoes, you’ve got too many damned shoes.)

All part of the new up close and personal shopping encounter that up-and-coming shoppers are supposed to go ga-ga for.

“Today’s customer craves more than just a transaction, they want an experience,” Michele Love, the company’s chief operating office, said in a statement.

Just another way in which I’m not “today’s customer.” When I’m shopping for something, I want the something. Sure, I’m open to chatting with the clerk – especially on a day when I haven’t had contact with another soul. But I really don’t crave an experience.

Well, good luck to DSW. Shoe rental sounds like a non-starter to me, but what do I know? It’s their business to understand what today’s customer craves. If the rental shoe fits, I guess I’ve got to say ‘wear it.’