The Wall Street
Journal had a recent article, “The
High Price of Beauty,” in which they surveyed four New Yorkers on how much
they shelled out each year on making and keeping themselves bee-yoo-ti-ful. Three
of the four women reported an annual outlay of roughly $20K; the other
approached $10K. Each woman gave a detailed list of where her beauty dollars
went. In many respects, I found the contents of the lists a bit peculiar, and
included things like visits to the chiropractor and some workout related
expenses. But are Bikram yoga, Pilates and a gym membership beauty- or
health-related? Also peculiar was the absence of any makeup on their lists.
Maybe if you get regular custom peels and drink green juices, you don’t need to
wear makeup.
The women were all in the entertainment/beauty biz to some
degree, so it might have been more interesting if they’d asked a few civilians.
I suspect that the figures would have been just a tad bit lower, if still somewhat
substantial.
Take me, a beauty civilian if ever.
It’s not as if I don’t spend anything on my pursuit of
beauty. Cut-and-color every couple of months does add up, as do the occasional
mani-pedis. And I do buy makeup on occasion. In fact, I was thinking of tossing
out all the dried up, years-old cosmetics that I still have hanging around
(despite my pre- and post-reno purges) and replacing it all. Or not replacing
the stuff, like mascara, that I never use to begin with. If you throw in my
low-budget gym cost, then even a relative beauty Puritan like myself probably
shells out $2K every year.
Hey, it makes me feel good to have someone else paint my toe
nails once in a while. And I’m in no hurry to find out exactly what the exact
color of my hair is. I like the fact that what’s on display is pretty much the same
color it was during my decades-long pre-silver-threads-among-the-gold (okay,that
would be silver-threads-among-the-dirty-blonde-or-light-brown-with-natural-blonde-highlights,
but I prefer the sound of gold). Maybe when I’m seventy. Or eighty. I’ll let it
go. But only if there’s a guarantee that my hair will look as good as my Aunt
Mary’s.
Although nothing I go in for, there were a number of pretty
pedestrian items on the lists.
Anyone can get a facial, and apparently it you’re into
beauty, you’ll want an occasional peel. (Sounds ghastly, but there are multiple
variations on the peel theme: Vi chemical, IPL. So I guess you can find one
that suits you and isn’t completely ghastly.) 25 sessions a year ($250 per) for
the ministrations of personal make-up artist/hair stylists seems like a lot,
but, then again, if you’re in a beauty-ish biz, it’s probably an essential. And probably includes the cost of the makeup.
But if you wash your face ever day, how long’s that makeup going to last you?
As for Botox, well Boxtox Schmotox. And a Brazilian is
pretty run of the mill. (Admittedly, someone requiring 8 Brazilians each and
every year probably has a far more exciting night life than I do.)
But between the lists and other parts of the article, there
were a number of items I’d never even heard of.
LED light treatment? Energy healing? Intravenous vitamin
therapy? At $500 a pop, it must be pretty darned good.
The Infinity daily meditation call at $25 a month sounds
like a steal, if one is inclined towards a daily meditation call. Whereas
Joshua Scott Onysko Custom Serum, which will set you back $150 every other month
sounds like a lot. Of course, I don’t know (and will never know) what’s in that
custom serum, but it’s no doubt really worth it. After all, Onysko has a blog
called The Crucible, while mine is
called Pink Slip, so he’s obviously
on to something big and important.
Ultherapy – I looked it up – is a non-invasive, ultrasound face
lift.
I could go on, but I’m feeling the urge to go look in the
mirror. What to do? What to do? Custom serum? Month’s worth of inspiration from
Infinity? (Or is it infinity from Inspiration?) Vi peel? IPL peel? Ultherapy?
So much to do. So little time. Beauty is demanding, but what’s
a girl to do?
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