There’s just no end to news from Dr. Emil Chynn, is there?

When I saw this article on boston.com, I knew that the name sounded familiar.

Then I recalled reading a few articles about a NY eye surgeon who’d offered all sorts of rewards – $10K charitable donations, a $100K Ferrari, free plastic surgery, cash bonuses – to anyone who could find him a wife – or even a date.  Trolling for Ms. Right – size 0, among other “must haves” – Chynn gained some notoriety by sending out a mass e-mail blast to everyone who attended a networking event alongside him.

All pretty pathetic, but Chynn – check out his personal website -  sounds like the classic over-educated, under-socialized weirdo who, nearing the age of 50, would brag about his GMAT scores, and about being “asked to teach by Stanley Kaplan.”

I do have a fair amount of sympathy for someone who is that socially inept, and a fair amount of admiration for someone who is that social inept and seemingly colossally and totally unself-conscious about it. But when it comes to trusting his judgment as a doctor, I think I’ll take a pass.

Because nowadays, Dr. Emil Chynn – media hound extraordinaire – is back in the news for implanting eyeball bling.

While celebrities sporting gold and silver grills on their teeth has become passé, the latest trend is to implant bling—in the eye. A few ophthalmologists in Los Angeles have been implanting eye jewelry for some time in those looking for a permanent twinkle to the tune of $3,000 to $4,000. But now the trend has come to New York: a Park Avenue laser vision specialist recently did his first implant. (Source: Deborah Kotz, on boston.com)

Yes, the surgeon was the picky-dater himself, Dr. Emil Chynn, a lasek surgeon we should trust because he went to Dartmouth (undergrad), Columbia (MD), and NYU (MBA)? And because he has a fancy-ass Park Avenue practice?

“To me this is just another way to advance the science of ophthalmology,” said Dr. Emil Chynn, the surgeon who did the procedure, in an interview with Fox News (video posted above). He implanted a very small heart-shaped piece of platinum just under the superficial conjunctiva, a filmy membrane that covers the white part of the eye.

The science of ophthalmology? Wouldn’t it be better advanced by looking for ways to cure macular degeneration, detached retinas, and even plain old vanilla near-sightedness?

Who in their right mind wants to attach anything – other than a contact lens, that is – to their eyeball?

I thought that getting your nose or tongue pierced was out there. Doesn’t that nose piercing get in the way of the common cold? And tongue piercing? Why, just why?

But neither nose nor tongue piercing could leave you with an eye infection, or lead to blindness, which would be my big fear – even if I wanted a little gold heart in my eye to begin with.

Chynn pooh-poohs the possibility of blindness – not by the hair on this chinny, chin Chynn.

Chynn said that the implant could cause a little temporary bleeding in the eye and that any infection risk would be prevented with antibiotic eye drops given prophylactically. He also insisted that “there’s no risk of blindness” from the procedure.

Thanks, doc, for even more unnecessary use of antibiotics to clear up problems that shouldn’t exist to begin with and put us all at greater risk of the SUPER BUG.

And, by the way, the American Academy of Ophthalmology begs to differ with Chynn, who – according to his extensive c.v. – is a fellow of the organization:

The group, which represents the nation’s ophthalmologists, sent me a list of dangers posed by eyeball jewelry implantation including blindness from infections, severe bleeding, puncture of the eye, and conjunctivitis or pink eye.

“The American Academy of Ophthalmology has not identified sufficient evidence to support the safety or therapeutic value of this procedure,” read the statement. “It urges consumers to avoid placing in the eye any foreign body or material that is not proven to be medically safe or approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.”

Good luck finding any “therapeutic value” to having bling in your eye.

Au contraire, it would more than likely make people believe you’re crazy.

If I’m going to trust anyone on this, it’ll be the Academy, and Dr. John Hagan, a fellow Fellow of AAO, who (on MedHelp), warns against bling-in-the-eye, and surgery to change the color of your iris, or whiten the whites of your eyes. (Huh?)

This is all even crazier than Latisse, the eyelash enhancer I blogged about a while back – the one that gives you “enviable eyelashes,” but just might turn your blue eyes brown in the process.

And right up there with the lunatics who have their pinkie toes removed, the better to fit in pointy stilettos.

Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.

Honestly, would you let anyone who’d perform this surgery near your eyeball?