I like Brad Pitt. Well enough.
Kinda cute in Thelma and Louise. Kinda liked in the one where he played the IRA guy to Harrison Ford’s cop. Ummmmm. Lots of movies I didn’t see. Very much liked Moneyball.
But to me, a very, very, very tiny bit of Angelina Jolie goes a very, very, very long way.
If I had to be stranded on a desert Ireland with Saint Angelina of Jolie or Jennifer Aniston, I’d have to go with Jen. Seems a lot, well, more approachable. Friendlier, even.
But with or without Angelina, with or without Jen, Brad Pitt is a force all on his lonesome. Or in his case, all on his awesome.
As in the awesome $7M he was paid for becoming the spokes- model for Chanel No 5.
If you somehow manage to resist clicking through and seeing and hearing for yourself, here’s the monologue:
It’s not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns. And we turn with it. Plans disappear. Dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck. My fate. My fortune. Chanel No. 5. Inevitable.
Forget the parodies that showed up all over the place.
Is it me, or is this parody enough?
How to parse this gibberish.
Every journey ends but we go on.
Well, not really, Brad. Every “we” ends, too, even for those who’ll attain some level of immortality – at least short term immortality – on the celluloid screen.
And is “the world turns” a nod to fans of As the World Turns? Which is not even on the air anymore. Is that the demographic they’re after? Retirees with walkers and stay at home moms folding laundry? And I would have thought that the Chanel No. 5 demo skewed more toward ladies who lunch wearing Chanel suits – think Nancy Reagan – rather than those for whom the scruff meister that is Brad Pitt appeals to. (And is this rat-ass look one that Chanel wants to be associated with? Plus, I hate to say it, but I’ve read in a couple of places that it’s not just unkempt hair and slouch clothing. Brad Pitt is supposedly not into personal hygiene – as in soap, water, and deodorant. Is that what you want associated with your fragrance brand? What’s the message here: splash enough of this on and you’ll never have to shower again?)
But back to that monologue. There’s the sorry fact that, for most of us, it’s the dreams that disappear, and the plans, to-do lists, and day to day life junk that takes over.
The monologue reminds me of the intro to The Worst Brochure Copy I Ever Read, which started out:
There’s no such thing as a bad idea. All ideas are to be extolled…
As someone who was asked to review the copy, I was delighted to note in the margin that there were plenty of ads that were bad and/or otherwise not to be extolled. And I listed a few of them in the margin.
Personally, I think the Brad Pitt ad falls into that bad, non-extollable idea category.
But what do I know about parfum.
Anyway, if you’re Brad Pitt you get to make a lot of money, slouching around in your grubbies, babbling some nonsense that a high-priced copywriter pulled out of his or her wherever.
And if you’re Brad Pitt, there’s even more you get to do.
Like
have a furniture designer take your doodles and turn them into high end pieces. Like this bed that looks like it would topple over on you if you sat at the front end to put your sneaks on. Not to mention leaving you no place to store your boxes full of sweaters and rolls of wrapping paper.
And this chair looks sort of comfy, in a 
Stay Puff Marshmallow Man kind of way. Until you find that it’s covered with patent leather. Because nothing says curl up with a good book, or your iPad even, like patent leather.
And don’t try playing footsie under this table:
I guess if you’re Brad Pitt, dreams do take over.
And wherever we go, there he is.
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Source on Brad Pitt, furniture designer: Guardian UK.
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