Did you hear the one about the exploding toilet?

There are certain things that we take for granted.

When we flip a light switch, we expect light. And we expect that we will not get, say, electrocuted.

When we turn on the water tap, we expect water. And we expect that we won’t get, say, gasoline.

And when we flush the toilet, we expect whatever’s in the bowl to disappear. And we expect that we won’t get, say, hit by shards from an exploding toilet tank lid.

But that’s apparently what’s been happening if you have a toilet that isn’t one of those old fashioned types with the float arm, float ball, and ballcock. But does have one of those fancy-dan, new-fangled unit that’s used in the fancy-dan, new-fangled pressure units that have gained in popularity since the water-saver toilets came into play.

So Flushmate, after the Consumer Product Safety Commission recorded 304 incidents, has recalled the Series 504 Flushmate III Pressure-Assist Flushing System. – over 2.3 million of them.

Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about this. (Phew.) First, we have the old-timey ones. Second, the recalled items were manufactured between 1997 and 2008, and our toilets pre-date that. By many moons.

But I do know what it’s like to have an exploding toilet.

Many years ago, I had a top floor apartment with a rather strange toilet.

Rather than having a tank, the toilet was “hard wired” (hard piped?) directly into the wall.  Once, when I came back from a week or so away, I flushed the toilet, only to have the pipe that connected the toilet to the wall come flying off.

What a shockeroo.

It took me a moment or two to realize what had happened.

Whatever the set up was behind the wall, I only ended up with the equivalent of one tank-full of water on the floor.

And, I must say, a good laugh, once I got things mopped up and the plumber in to get things plumbed.

When I am next in the market for a toilet, I will be looking at one of those bi-modal jobs, with the light and heavy flush options, depending on whether you want to flush something light or heavy. I would also consider one with a Flushmate, as it seems to be a pretty good little product from a pretty good little company. It’s in the heartland. It produces something that – exploding tank lids aside – is good for the environment. And I believe it manufacturers its products in the good old U.S. of A.

So I’m sorry that they’ve had to do this recall.

Although it’s really not so much a recall as it is a do-over.

If you have one of the recalled Flushmate III units, turn off the water supply to your toilet and request a free repair kit. You can get more information and a kit, by contacting Flushmate at (800) 303-5123 weekdays between 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Eastern Time or by visiting their recall site..(Source: Boston.com)

Well, I can see that this would be a major drag if you were in a one toilet situation. But I suppose if you were in a one toilet situation, you might want to keep that water supply on and take your chances while you wait for that free repair kit to arrive.

I mean, if there’ve only been 304 explosions, 14 injuries, and no deaths out of 2.3 million toilets, then the likelihood that your number (one or two) is up is pretty low, probabilistically speaking.

Anyway, many years decades ago, the first time I heard about a product recall, it was one of those early car recalls – probably the Pinto, a far more dangerous exploding tank problema than the Flushmate toilet.

When the news about the recall came out, what popped into my mind was that all the cars were being sent back to Michigan to get repaired. I envisioned millions of cars being hauled on trailers, or flat-bed train cars, or even being driven by owners, heading back to Detroit.

I was somewhat disappointed, not to mention feeling a tad foolish, when I realized that recalled cars go back to the dealer, not to the assembly line.  While there was something right and just about those who made the bad stuff having to repair it, flawed products don’t tend to be the fault of the factory hands. Sure, there are no doubt times when the worker slack off, or even throw a metaphorical – or even actual – spanner in the works. But mostly if something’s really gang agley the problem’s higher up in the food chain: design, engineering, a bean-counter decision to swap in a lower cost, substandard part. And sometimes, well, shit happens.

Good luck to those getting their free repair kits in the mail. I’m reasonably good with fixing the parts of the ancient floating ball apparatus, but I wouldn’t want to mess with a Flushmate. Even though it’s all encased, it looks a bit too high tech to me.