Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning. (This one just keeps getting better and better.)

In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, the  last few years have seen quite a spate of elected officials heading to the stir for corruption.

Let’s see, there’s the Boston City Council member who’s in the pokey for taking a chump-change bribe – $1K – to do a bit of light lifting to get someone a liquor license.

Then there’s the state senator convicted in the “Bra-gate” trial. She was caught on video tape shoving bribe money under her shirt. That she did so at a pricey restaurant in spitting distance of the State House just added to the furor.

Most recently, the illustrious Speaker of the Massachusetts House was sentenced to eight large in a Federal lockup for steering a software contract with the state towards a vendor willing to offer him some walking around money.

Apparently things haven’t changed all that much since Boston’s late 19th- early 20th century ward boss, Martin Lomasney coined this apparently timeless saying:

"Never write if you can speak; never speak if you can nod; never nod if you can wink."

To which a coda should be added: never stuff an envelope full of cash into your bra while the camera’s rolling.

Of course, there’s no end to the codas that pols will keep writing.

Although this one does not (yet) have any criminal element associated with it, the latest local nest-feathering story involves quite a bit more moola than the paltry amounts that landed all of the above in jail. (The last guy is appealing, so he hasn’t actually landed behind bars quite yet.)

Our latest prince of the city is one Michael McLaughlin, a former state rep, who a decade ago got the post of head of the Chelsea Housing Authority. Chelsea is small, poor/working class city just outside of Boston. The Housing Authority manages 1,415 units of housing. When McLaughlin got the job in the year 2000, he was paid $77,500. By the time he resigned the other night, his compensation was $360K. (Source: Boston.com.)

While it’s comforting to know that at least there’s someone out there – other than hedge fund managers and CEOs – who hasn’t seen the value of their earnings eroded over the past decade, this does seem a bit extreme. Especially when you consider that it’s more than the combined salaries of the managers of the Boston and New York City housing authorities, who have a lot more than 1,415 units under their management. And especially when you consider that it’s roughly 18 times what the average family living in Chelsea public housing lives on.

It must be noted that McLaughlin didn’t embezzle the money. The knuckleheads on the Chelsea Housing Authority board approved it. But he may yet get nailed on something, given that he lied about the amount to the state.

The Globe reported Sunday that McLaughlin had told state housing officials he made only $160,000, less than half his true salary, something he chalked up to “the rebel in me.’’

I guess the Crystals were on to something when they sang, “He’s a rebel, and he’ll never be any good…”

McLaughlin maintains that he “’more than earned [his] salary:’”

… saying he is well paid because he turned around the troubled housing agency. He compared his performance running the housing agency to the achievements of his idol, Joe Montana, on the football field.

Ah, the old Joe Montana comparison.

That should work magic on public opinion.

Now that McLaughlin has resigned, he’ll be putting in for his pension.

Based on his total compensation and years of service, McLaughlin could qualify for a pension of $278,842 for life.

Which, as it happens, is nearly twelve times the pension of the average Massachusetts state worker – you know, the folks we’re currently accusing of ruining our way of life. 

The story, of course, just gets better.

Rather than let the door hit him on his arse on his way out, McLaughlin had the Chelsea Housing Authority’s accountant write him a few checks to tide him over until that pension comes through. Checks to the tune of $200K. Written by a friend and fellow Providence College grad of McLaughlin’s sons. Who, before McLaughlin got him the job running the Chelsea Housing Authority’s finances, spent nine years as a night club bouncer. (Source: Boston.com) (Okay: maybe he was a business major.)

[James McNichols] cut three checks - one for $114,237 for more than 1,000 hours of unused sick leave, a second for $81,578.79 for 793 hours of unused vacation and a third for $5,133.82 for 47 hours of accrued personal time.

McLaughlin instructed McNichols to withhold roughly $22,000 - 135 hours of unused sick leave - “for any expenses that arise.’’

Let the claw back begin! McLaughlin managed to cash the $80K check, but the others have been canceled. And I suspect that his nibs won’t be getting the fully plush pension he thinks he’s earned. But talk about tone deaf. If you were being forced out of your quasi-public job because everyone in the world with half a brain believes you are egregiously overpaid and completely non-deserving, would you have your friendly accountant write you $200K worth of checks? Especially when there have been so many cutbacks in funding for things like public housing because the poor, don’t you know, are so shiftless, so undeserving.

Or might you not pause for a second and think, hmmmmm, I haven’t done anything all that bad – other than (the rebel in me!) tell a little white lie about my salary. So maybe I should just lay low until this blows over and see what I can salvage here.

Didn’t it occur to McLaughlin that a stunt like this will bring more scrutiny down on him, not to mention completely inflame everyone who reads about it? I wouldn’t expect him to think for a minute about how his behavior will bring out the pitchfork in those zealots who believe that everyone who works in the public sector is  lazy, coddled, overpaid, and deserving of nothing other than our scorn (and the fork end of the pitchfork).

Nope, I wouldn’t expect that he’d think for a Chelsea minute about the other guys.

But you’d think that he might think for that Chelsea minute about how his behavior might reflect on himself?

Apparently not. (Guess it’s not just Wall Street financiers and CEOs who are tone deaf…)

"Never write if you can speak; never speak if you can nod; never nod if you can wink."

And never palm the cash box while the whole world’s watching.