Given that there seem to be so few growth sectors in our incredibly dismal economy, I suppose we should be delighted by the “potential bonanza” that well-heeled, but – regrettably, mortal – baby boomers may provide when it comes to staying “forever young.”
The market research firm Global Industry Analysts projects that a boomer-fueled consumer base, "seeking to keep the dreaded signs of aging at bay," will push the U.S. market for anti-aging products from about $80 billion now to more than $114 billion by 2015. (Source: Huffington Post.)
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I’m looking forward to looking in the mirror and seeing an old crone. Or deny that I have absolutely no idea what color my real hair is, other than that it has plenty o’ grey in it. Sometimes I tell myself that if I were going to go “stunning” grey, I’d do so. But I have no illusions there. There’s no doubt that, left to its own devices, my hair would go tweed mouse. Not quite ready for that yet.
So for all I know, my hair coloring may be part of that anti-aging $80 billion being spent by boomers.
But we’re mostly talking more “corrective” or “assistive” drug therapy or surgery. And anti-aging miracle de-wrinkling cures.
The categories – sectors of this new, booming industry - described in the article are:
Hormone Replacement Therapy
Numerous companies and clinics promote hormone replacement drugs, including testosterone for men and custom-mixed "bioidentical" hormones for women, as a way to slow the aging process.
HRT has the triple whammy going for it. It’s expensive, there’s no evidence it works (except to resolve specific conditions, not aging), and it could actually be harmful.
Well, sign me up!
Then there’s the old stand-by, Cosmetic Surgery.
According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, there were 13.1 million cosmetic plastic surgery procedures performed in the U.S. in 2010, a 77 percent increase over a decade.
Here I’d like offer both a bit of advice, and a cautionary note. The bit of advice is three-fold. One, stay out of the sun. When I went to my 20th high school reunion, the “girl” who looked the absolute worst (and who had been one of the prettiest members of our class) was someone who’d been wealthy enough to spend every summer baking at The Cape. She came from a well-to-do family and, when the rest of us were working crappy jobs, she’d been lolling around at the beach. She then married a very successful guy – an investment banker who has a cameo appearance in the book Barbarians at the Gate. Tack on another bunch of summers hanging out at the beach while the rest of us were working crappy jobs. End result: really sagging skin that made her look ten years older than anyone else there.
Two, don’t get too skinny. Seriously, those of us with a bit of meat on our bones tend to look less wrinkly than the slender-ellas.
Third, inherit the wrinkle-free gene. When my grandmother Wolf died, at age 79, she had nary a wrinkle on her skin. My mother always looked a good decade younger than she was, and was relatively wrinkle-free. While I’m not wild about everything I inherited from my mother’s side – thanks for the nearsightedness, Ma – my sisters and I all got the good skin. Lucky us!
As for the cautionary note on plastic surgery. Think Joan Rivers. Just ghastly.
The final “sector” covered in the article is Skin Care, which Consumer Reports took on. They evaluated wrinkle creams and found:
"Even the best performers reduced the average depth of wrinkles by less than 10 percent, a magnitude of change that was, alas, barely visible to the naked eye," it said.
Its top-rated product, Olay Regenerist, cost about $19 at the time of the testing. La Prairie Cellular, the most expensive at $335, was rated among the least effective.
So caveat boomer emptor, and forget about dropping all that dough on La Prairie.
Hey, everyone wants to look and feel their best, but, let’s face it, the best way to have a healthy and productive old age is the keep moving (body and brain), eat decently, don’t smoke, don’t drink a lot, and – oh, yeah, don’t forget to have good genes.
No doubt some day there will be stem-cell whatever that will truly stave off the aging process, and help people stay more independent, healthy, and active in their old age. All good, that.
But the prospect of rich, narcissistic Baby Boomers sucking all the oxygen out of the world (metaphorically speaking) so that they can stay alive forever is, frankly, chilling.
I don’t want to get old, frail, senile, and drooly any more than the next guy. I hope to have the good fortune to keep on keepin’ on until my Life Is Good tee-shirt is telling a lie. And then I want out.
I’m not saying it ain’t a bit scary, especially when you don’t have the life-saving belief that there’s a wonderful great beyond where you get to be with everyone you want to be with, and get to avoid all the arseholes.
I’m of the Big Sleep school of thought, and am about 99.99% confidence that that’s what next (with a little re-incarnation at the sub-atomic particle level thrown in). But what if?????
But isn’t aging, and what comes next, i.e., death, part of the deal?
If you don’t die James Dean young – and who wants that? – you age. And then, sorry Baby Boomers, you die.
Maybe I’ll be one of those frantically trying to stay alive at all costs, disguising myself as a young mother to get a seat on a Titanic lifeboat, rationalizing that the poor kid in Africa is better off without a heart so that I can have his, knocking young folks out of the way with my cane so that I can get a drop of elixir from the Fountain of Youth.
I sure hope not.
The bottom line is that nobody gets out alive, and all the plastic surgery and anti-aging creams in the world aren’t going to help you cope with this tiny bit of reality.
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As for “Forever Young”, by that aging – and it shows – pre-Boomer, Bob Dylan. I really like this song, but on relooking at the lyrics, I find that all the hopes encompassed here are really just wonderful life wishes, pretty much good at any age, and really have as much to do with meaningful and graceful living (and aging) as they do with staying forever young.
I give you this week’s shower song. (Thanks, Bob.)
May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.
May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.
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