The Dental Spa

I fear rats. And (most) snakes. Heights – I’m definitely afraid of heights. Except when I’m in an airplane, when mile-high-ness doesn’t bother me at all. I fear being caught on an airplane (or any place else) with nothing to read. Other than these, and my normal, run-of-the-mill existential and political fears, I don’t have a ton of phobias. (Oh, yeah, I forgot to add: fear of breaking a tooth on the eve of a long weekend, which happened to me about 20 years ago when I bit into the wrong cashew on the third of July.)

Still, I sympathize with those whose fear factors include going to the dentist.

It must be terrible to put up with a mouthful of pain and suffering because you fear the man (or woman) in the white coat armed with a drill and a pick.

With the exception of one blessedly brief interlude between the original family dentist and the dentist I’ve had for the last 30 years, I have had excellent dental care. (Special props to my dentist, whose son – every bit as great a dentist as his old man – is now part of the practice. So I have the dentist who most likely will see me out.  Now if only I can find a doctor who’s in his/her thirties…)

Over the years, my dental care has included a number of fillings, wisdom teeth removal, a root canal, a couple of broken-teeth crowns, chipped front teeth bonding, and a set of four very pricey front teeth veneers when I tired of chipped front teeth bonding. (The chipped front teeth were my own damned fault. However good your teeth are, they should never, ever, ever be used in lieu of pliers or scissors.) So I’m no stranger to the dental chair.

However, none of this, I can honestly say, has involved all that much pain. Even the dreaded root canal.

The only thing I loathe at the dentist is when they do the bite-wing x-rays, and even that’s gotten a lot less gag-inducing and, thus, a lot more tolerable, since they introduced the apparatus that holds the x-ray thing-ies in place.

But, as I said, my sympathies do extend to those suffering from fear of dentist.

Thus I read with interest an article in the Wall Street Journal the other day on dental spas.

In addition to revving up the laughing gas or providing other forms of sedation, and/or revving up the pain killers, dental spas may offer:

Entertainment. Headphones, flat-screen TVs—even virtual reality goggles for watching movies—can help patients pretend they are somewhere else.

Atmospherics. Quieter drills and citrus-scented candles help mask the typical sounds and smells of dentistry; some practices have stopped using eugenol, the clove-scented antiseptic; others even bake cookies to introduce a soothing aroma.

Hmmmm  Baking cookies? Do they let the patients eat them or just smell them. Surely, eating cookies in too large quantities, with too little brusha-brusha-brusha after, may have landed someone in the old dentist chair to begin with.

But the real corker is the dentist offices that offer:

Spa services. Foot massages, warm neck rolls and paraffin treatments for hands help patients relax and pass the time.

This is a bit difficult for me to envision. Warm neck roll I can see, but wouldn’t the person giving you the foot massage or the paraffin treatment kind of get in the way of the dentist? Or is it cleverly choreographed, like getting a simultaneous mani-pedi?

Anyway, I thought I’d check Central Park Dental Spa, which was cited in the WSJ article. CPDS offers:

The art and science of Reflexology: …CPDS Reflexology, which is a hand and finger technique applied to the feet that brings about stress and pain reduction throughout the body, [which] is administered on the patients. … A certified Reflexologist also works on pressure points that reduce pain and tension in the mouth and jaw. Used in tandem with traditional numbing agents the addition of Reflexology to the experience of dental treatment is not only a dramatic reduction in pain and anxiety, but a tangible introduction of soothing and relaxed feelings throughout the body.

Unfortunately, dental insurance – which, in my experience, doesn’t cover all that much to begin with – will not generally cover spa treatments, or even super sedation/painkillers.

And you may be paying a bit extra for this:

A beautiful, spa-like environment: The very look, sounds and smells of a dentist office typically trigger fear and anxiety… Scented candles assure that Central Park Dental Spa does not smell like a dentist office. The beautifully designed waiting room with comfortable couches, a water fall, and soothing music immediately put patients at ease.

Scented candles are an interesting touch. They are an item that I mostly hate. One might even say fear. Just the thought of a vanilla-scented candle gets my gag reflex going every bit as much as a bitewing x-ray does.

Not that I’m in the market for one, but I had to check out whether there were any dental spas in Boston. Kurban Fereidouni grabbed the post position when I googled. There wasn’t actually all that much explicit info on the spa-ness of their practice, but their site included this photo.  Looks great.  Looks very relaxing. Ultra-soothing. Sleep-inducing. Fear-reducing. My one and only question is, how do they get the drill into your mouth if you’re lying on your tummy with hot stones on your back? Inquiring minds – and mouths – want to know.