This is apparently yesterday’s news – or at least last month’s – but I just came across a PC World article that picked up on Bank of America’s:
…feverishly registering domains that include the names of its directors and executives combined with "sucks" or "blows," according to Domain Name Wire. Hundreds of domain names were registered by the bank on December 17 alone, Domain Name Wire said.
Not only did they take care of CEO Brian Moynihan (a.k.a., BrianTMoynihan), but they even protected their CMO, Anne Finucane. (Funny to think of someone going after a marketing person, isn’t it?) They did not, apparently, extend their whirlwind of domain registration activity to friends and family. Finucane is married to political commentator Mike Barnicle, and, if anyone’s interested, MikeBarnicleSucks and MikeBarnicleBlows are still there for the grabbing. As is MikeBarnicleBlowhard.
Nor did BofA take care of all of its own board members and execs, having left a couple off of their list, at least initially. As PC World reported, board members Monica C. Lozano and Thomas May were left off the list. Whether this was an oversight, or a deliberate decision based on someone’s belief that Monica C. Lozano and Thomas May are way, way, way too nice for anyone in their right mind to set up a suck or blow website aimed at them. (May is CEO of NSTAR; Lozano is a newspaper editor.)
Unfortunately for BofA, the granddaddy (not GoDaddy) of all anti-Bank of America domain names – BankOfAmericaSucks – is long since taken.
No doubt it’s just a matter of time before domain names are irrelevant, and everything’s just hovering out there in one seemingly free-form, massive cloud that’s far more indexed and tied to every thought, word, or deed all of us have been involved in than what’s out there now. The cloud will be searchable in nano-time by some brilliant and colossal engine that figures out who, what, and why we want something. And, voila, information, will be delivered to our all-in-one nano electronic device, perhaps contained in a sub-cutaneous chip of sorts. Or it will be delivered directly to our very own brain. (Of course, by that point the concept of “very own brain” will not doubt be different than our current view of the personal nature of what goes on in the still private reaches of the mind.)
Or maybe “it” will figure out what “they” want us to know. Forget net neutrality. Perhaps BofA and other megas will pay big bucks to make sure that no restuls ever gets returned in a top 100 spot from a search for some combination of “executive name” and “sucks” and/or “blows”.
And the engines that do let us find the good stuff will charge us for the privilege. Really want to find “executive name” and “sucks” and/or “blows.” That’s cost you.
Meanwhile, there’ll be a thought police engine keeping track of who did this sort of depraved anti-corporate, or anti-government, or anti-whatever-"they”-don’t-want-us-to do, searching, and will be keeping records on everyone to such a degree that Nixon’s enemies lists will look both ludicrous and harmless. (Wow! Just think about how much easier it would be to run a police state if you don’t have to rely on neighbors spying on neighbors, or kids ratting out their parents. I’m currently reading the immediate-post-war novel, “Every Man Dies Alone,” by Hans Fallada, which chronicles quotidian life in Nazi Germany, so all this is much on my mind. Which is still, thankfully, still my very own mind. No domain name, and no URL, since this is a resource that, while universal to me, is not one that anyone else can locate, thank you. At least for now.)
Anyway, at some point, it may not matter whether or not all those suck and blow domain names exist.
But ‘til then, corporations should probably make it part of their promotion or executive hiring practice or board member in-boarding to hoover up any domain name that could come back to bite a promotee or exec or board member in the URL.
When you leave the company, having them continue to pay for the registration can be part of your departure agreement. Or you can rollover the responsibility to your new company, in much the same way you can your 401K.
Personally, I’m not worried. If someone wants to grab “maureenrogerssucks”, have at it.
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