A few weeks back, The Wall Street Journal which, thankfully, continues to provide a fair amount of business fluff, had a feature on a new pet resort in Forth Worth. (Access to this article may require a subscription.)
This may be an odd economy in which to open a luxury spa for the canine and feline set, but why shouldn’t pets have chenille bedspreads, satin blankets, and flat screen TV’s?
There will be facials, Swarovski-crystal collars (for sale in the boutique) and turn-down service every night in the rooms.
"There isn't another hotel like this. It's a hotel like you and I would stay in," says the [owner] 57-year-old Ms. [Janice] Ford Grimes.
Even though I neither live in Forth Worth, nor own a pet, I do have pet-owning friends and family in Dallas. So I felt that I should check the Spa Paws Hotel.
We are not a glorified kennel, but a full-service pet hotel complete with luxury amenities.
Ford Grimes has invested $4.4 million in her new venture, and she should know all about what the discriminating pet is after. Her cats drink Evian, which, personally, I feel tastes a bit greasy. But chacun à son goût.
So, just what amenities do pets want?
Aromatherapy. Reflexology. Beauty treatments. Eastern wellness.
I find aromatherapy a particularly interesting offering. We can’t be talking sandalwood here. It must be some magical combination of old sneaker, garbage can, and dog butt. I’m sure the formula is a closely guarded secret.
The Paws Cafe has one of a kind dog biscuits – and wi-fi. (Why not? Dogs and cats need to stay on top of what’s going on 24/7, the same way the rest of us do. Certainly, plenty of them have Facebook pages and Twitter accounts that let them ask wazzup.)
You can also hold your dog’s wedding at the Spa Paws.
Lavish weddings for your canine couple. With packages that include catering, flowers, wedding decor, wedding attire and photography, you bride and groom will walk down the aisle in style. We've got the best in pet nuptials, paws down.
Afterwards, the happy couple gets to stay in the Honeymoon Suite.
And people complain about gay marriage.
Sigh!
I’ll bet the proud parents completely tear up when they see their offspring hitched. Then there’s the dance to “Daddy’s Little Girl”….
I couldn’t find the rack rate without filling in a form – I guess I could have used a fake pet name (Prince? Fido? Kitty?) Instead, I’ll have to trust the WSJ, which says that you can pay up to $200 a night for a say at Spa Paws. (The min is $65.)
Frankly, I was disappointed in the web site, which doesn’t give all that much away. The article talked about $400 pink argyle cashmere sweaters and $3,000 wedding gowns, but there was scant detail on the Spa Paws site about what’s on the vend in their boutique. So much for e-commerce.
Can this be a real business?
A feasibility study required by her bank showed that the demographics to support her business—high-income empty-nesters, gay couples and what Ms. Ford Grimes calls the "Paris Hilton girls"—were present in Fort Worth.
She admits she’ll be running in the red for a while, but obviously believes she can make a go of it.
I moseyed on over to Ford Grimes’ competition, the Grand Pet Resort and Spa, which is a lower end venue for the somewhat less discriminating pooch or kitty-cat. (It’s run by a veterinarian.) There, the largest “suite” is 52 square feet (sleeps three!). Even I, lover of small spaces, wouldn’t want to be sleepin’ no three in 52 square feet. On the other hand, it’s been a while since I stayed in a hotel that costs only $61 per night.
Which would be no means be my record low. In the way-back, I spent a couple of nights in a 50 cent per hotel in Turkey. (Where, come to think of it, we did sleep three to a room.) The toilet was in the hall, and was one of those hole-in-the-floor numbers. For which they turned the water off at 10 p.m. At least after a couple of nights there I felt I knew a bit about what it must be like to be a pooch who has to hold it all day.
Or course, that hotel in Izmir didn’t have turn down service , or a dog biscuit on the pillow. It did have wooden clogs you could wear into the hall toilet, if you cared to venture in after 10 p.m.
At the Grand, you can pay $8 for “10 minutes of in-suite one-on-one Personal Displays of Affection.” (Is it just me, or does this have a slight whiff of doggy prostitution about it. Maybe it’s the 10 minute thing…)
Meanwhile, the Grand is parasite free, which is more than I can say for a lot of the hotels in New York.
Maybe because it’s run by a vet, the Grand doesn’t seem to have as much outré stuff going on as the Spa.
Like providing robotic squirrels for the dogs. (Note to self: check out robotic squirrels as possible Xmas gift for dog-nephew Jack.)
And dye jobs. (Which may or not be available at the Spa. There was a reference to this service in the article, but it’s not clear where it’s offered.) I certainly remember seeing pictures of pink and blue poodles when I was a kid. These days, what with coloring so improved, you can probably make an animal’s hair look natural. Wait! An animal’s hair color is natural already. Are there actually dogs out there who dream, if I have one life, let me live it as a golden retriever. (Note to self: do not mention this to black lab dog-nephew Jack. His hair is fine as is, and those little flecks of grey actually make him look quite distinguished.)
Personally, I’m as in to anthropomorphizing our furry friends as much as the next guy.
But a $3,000 wedding gown?
That would be an awful lot to pay for a one-shot frock for a human.
Some people just have too much walking around money.
And, by the way, just what is a dog facial?
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