Mummy’s the word

The one and only thing I miss about long work commuting is the radio, which made time lodged in traffic if not exactly pleasant, then at least tolerable.  I’m reminded of this each time I have a zipcar commute out to a client site.

The other day, I caught the end of a segment on NPR that I found intriguing. A caller mentioned an outfit in Utah that provides human mummification.

Since Pink Slip is all over death and dying – I should probably make it a category tag – I knew I had to learn more.

So I let my fingers do the walking to Summum, which, if it doesn’t let us exactly walk like an Egyptian, let’s our bodies hang out for a while longer with King Tut and V.I. Lenin.

Summum is some kind of off-the-mainline religion/philosophy, founded in 1975 by one Claude “Corky” Rex Nowell. Nowell ended up changing his name to Summum Bonum Amon Ra, but went by Corky Ra until his death – at age 63 – in early 2008.

Summum’s Vatican is a pyramid, located not too far from the Mormon Tabernacle. However, because Summum bottles and imbibes its own-labeled Nectar of the Gods in its rituals, close-minded locals forced them to register their pyramid not as a temple, but as a winery. I hate when that happens, but at least the close-minded locals let the Summa’s practice mummification.

Why mummifcation?

Well, why not?

Summum followers believe that, once you go through the transition to the state that many of us would call dead, and some would hope includes an afterlife of some sort, the result can be:

…a frightening and puzzling experience. Your sense of time and space has changed. Your essence (which is really you) finds itself in a very unfamiliar situation. You have mental abilities but are unclear how to deal with the current conditions. You look for anything familiar that will help reduce your fears and the body you just left is the most familiar thing to you. Most people are buried or cremated and this places their essence in less than favorable circumstances leaving it to fend for itself.

In mummification, the preserved body serves as a reference point for your essence, a "home base" if you will that allows communication of instructions to help guide you to your new destination. This can alleviate much of the fear, anxiety, and confusion that you would normally experience.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen a couple of mummies in museums, and even one up close and personal in a junkstore in Wiscasset, Maine, that had a real, live mummy as part of its roadside attraction. And those mummies don’t exactly resemble what you might think of as the corporeal you-you. The terms desiccated, dark brown, fragile and weird come to mine – none of which (other than, possibly, the word “weird”) are things that I associate with the corporeal me-me.  Frankly, as a “home base”, I don’t see why being mummified would be all that much superior to being shot up with formaldehyde and buried six-feet under – except for the worms crawling in and out, and the ants playing pinochle on your snout, which doesn’t happen with mummification. 

And just how long do you need the darned home base for?

Summum’s talks about the eternal aspects of mummification – “eternal memorialization” in their words. But I think that they, like most of us, have a pretty short sighted definition of “eternal”.

Let’s face it, most of us don’t have that good a grasp on it. It even hurts your head if you try to think about it. At best, in practical terms, eternal is something like now plus-or-minus 5,000 years. In the eternal, eternal, I bet that even mummies don’t last. (Just ask a triceratops next time you see one.)

In any case, if you don’t quite trust that “eternal memorialization” thing, and/or want just a bit more after-life, Summum points out that mummification can “perfectly preserve” your DNA – which they term the "sumsoshoeugenic" state

Sumsoshoeugenics lends itself to new considerations and implications for the future as scientists perfect the technique of cloning.

Hmmmm. One thing if you’ve given your permission to get cloned, but are you thinking what I’m thinking? Someone might want to bring back King Tut and/or V.I. Lenin. Or even graft them together. Might be fun to see V.I. Lenin walk like an Egyptian, but talk about culture shock.

Summum’s also got something going about:

Arriving at your new destination, [where] you are transformed into a "butterfly," greater than what you were before.

Personally, I take a bit of umbrage at the notion that a butterfly is greater than what I was before. Prettier maybe, more fragile. But greater? I don’t see no butterflies blogging out there. And just how long do butterflies last, anyway? One season?

In any case, consumer options are generally a good thing, so it’s fine that those who want to direct their funeral parlors to get them mummified have a place to go. (Somehow, I’m guessing that O’Connor Brothers in Main South Worcester, which has helped move several generations of my family over the rainbow to the great beyond, has never received a request for mummification. At least not yet.)

Summum may, in fact, be the only provider of human mummification in the U.S.  - a differentiator that probably enjoys a few decent-sized barriers to entry, and a niche (however puny) served. Capitalism is, indeed, a wonderful thing.