As if we needed any more evidence of our debased culture: The Situation’s “Grenade Dodger” app

I’ve never watched Jersey Shore – a “reality” show that follows the “lives” of a group of young Italian-Americans devoted to partying – and I have no intention of starting now. There may be a split second amusement factor to be had from watching any given episode, but sixty minutes of a bunch of not very bright, clever, interesting, or attractive folks get in each others grills… well, no thanks. From what I gather, the Jersey Shore’s cast makes that princess of vapidity, Paris Hilton, look brainy and accomplished. No small task, that.

Jersey Shore world curiosity apparently revolves around GTL location – i.e., the gym, tanning parlor, and laundromat – and one of the cast members, a lunkhead nicknamed The Situation, is selling an iPhone app that includes a GTL Finder. It is currently on the Apple Top 10 money maker list.

Ecce,The Situation:

Now I wouldn’t expect The Situation to put his name on an app locating, say, the nearest library, bookstore, or volunteer opportunity. And the GTL Finder, I suppose, has some type of  appeal, however ephemeral, to show fans. It also has a smidgen of amusement factor – that is, if The Situation is poking a bit of fun (ho-ho!) at his own narcissistic absorption with GTL.

But the app goes one step further, and includes a game called Grenade Dodger.

A grenade, in Situation-speak, is an unattractive woman – someone The Situation would want to avoid – and the game features pictures of real women, snapped at clubs that The Situation frequents.

Grenade Dodger requires the player to avoid unattractive women, so to get the gritty realism desirable in an iPhone app, Sitch’s crew went to the clubs to snap photos of “3’s and 4’s”, using those photos to provide the game with the requisite elephants and uggos…all without the women knowing they were going to be grenade-ified. (Source: The Fab Life.)

The “point” of the game is for the player to manipulate The (virtual) Situation so that he won’t get hit by a grenade, i.e., a picture of one of the women.

Well, Grenade Dodger may be turning into Grenade Launcher, as one of the grenades is considering a lawsuit.

I’m guessing that any one who hangs around the same clubs as The Situation does buys in, to some extent, to the Jersey Shore ethos – that the world revolves around GTL and clubbing. Still, these women aren’t public figures, and it is supremely distasteful to me (and, I’m guessing, supremely wounding to at least some of the “grenades”) that they have become the butt of a cretinous iPhone joke.

Where to begin on how dreadful, how crass this is? Cruel, misogynist, nasty, unfunny, mindless.

I’m quite sure that The Situation didn’t program this app himself, unless he’s got some hidden talents as a techie. But he lent his name to it – and he’s no kid. He’s in his late twenties, and he still thinks this moronic, drunken frat boy stuff is funny?

Grow up, why don’t you?

I read that The Situation has made $5M this past year.

The only positive I can take from this is that, as the middle class shrinks, the likes of The Situation provides play-the-lottery type hope to ill-educated, talent-less, purpose-less stupes. Bread and circus, served on a platter. What a country!

Of course, any publicity that attends the law suit will likely cause more jerks to buy The Situation’s app, further lining his pockets and – as if it could get much worse – further debasing the culture. Is it any wonder that we have more eating disorders and bullying incidents per square inch than any place else on the globe?

As for The Situation, all I can say is you’d best be saving your $5M.

Sure, you’ve gotten more than your 15 minutes of fame, but fast forward to couple of years. Is showing off your six-pack and demeaning women how you want to spend the rest of your life?

What do you want your career to be at forty? Washed-up nothing?

Grenade Dodger…

I hope the women all sue, and that the settlements take a big chunk out of The Situation’s walking around money.

Pink Slip to The Situation: A pox on your nasty little iPhone app.