‘Tis pity…

Sad news on the executive compensation front, I’m afraid.

Last year’s comp levels for CEO big cheeses were down again – the first time in 20 years that the men (and, of course, a few women, like Indra Nooyi of Pepsi) in the gray bespoke suits saw pay decline two years running. Last year, it plummeted 0.9%. Sure, percentage-wise, 0.9% doesn’t look like that much of a plummet, but in absolute terms…. As they say, a 1% decrease if you make $50M is a lot more than a 1% decrease if you drag down $50K.

Poor big cheeses! Even though most of us would be impressed by the wages they drew – and last year’s slap in the face was nothing compared to the year before, when compensation dropped by 3.4% -  I’m sure to them it looked like a sliced of plastic wrapped processed American, rather than a big wheel of pungent brie.

Here’s how things broke in 2009, according to The Wall Street Journal’s Survey (conducted by the Hay Group among 200 companies with greater than $4B in revenue).

Health Care and Oil & Gas had the highest median CEO comp - $10.4M.

Well played, all!

I, for one, have 100% – make that 110% – confidence that the folks in Health Care did there complete and utter damnedest to keep medical costs down. I experienced this personally, because I opted this year for a lower insurance premium and higher deductible – a break-even play if my direct costs don’t go over $3.6K, and likely a win-a-little play, given how little I use the health care system. But my health care system helped out with their cost thing by coding my routine annual physical (covered, and not put towards my deductible) as a medical visit (not-covered, and for which I’m completely on the hook).  I wouldn’t exactly say win-win, but a win for Blue Cross-Blue Shield of Massachusetts. Me, I just want to find out if it was something I said. Did asking my doctor about a sliver in my foot turn a routine physical into a medical appointment. I just want to know what to avoid asking next year…

I have similar confidence that the folks in Oil & Gas did every last thing possible to explore alternative energy, minimize carbon emissions, and other wise help keep the polar glaciers from calving. I just know they did.

So I’m happy as a clam in an oil bed that Occidental Petroleum’s Ray Irani was, at $52M, the highest paid CEO on the list.

Robert Iger of Disney had the number two pay packet. Relatively chintzy at $20.8M, and bringing up the philosophical question about whether we would need as many tank-fulls of fossil fuel if we didn’t have to drive to the cinema multi-plex at the Mall to catch the latest Disney flick.

Rounding out the Big Three was Sam Palisano of IBM, who made $20.1M. What can I say? Technology rules! (Almost.)

At the bottom end of this barrel, Steve Jobs (Apple), Ken Lewis (BofA), and John Mackey (Whole Foods) really dragging things down, accepting nada, zip, zilch, or, as Tony Soprano might say, stugots.

Warren Buffett didn’t do much better. The S of O received compensation of $100K. (Good thing he lives in that modest house of his.)

Sure, it’s easy to make light of slumping pay for CEO’s, but – let’s face it – they really don’t have the same recourse as the rest of us do when it comes to making up shortfalls.

They can’t exactly go out and be Walmart greeters, can they? Or mow lawns and babysit, for that matter. I really wouldn’t make sense for Indra Nooyi to answer on of those “Boston Mom makes $54 and hour stringing beads in her home” ads, either, would it?

Yes, they have stuff to sell, but, frankly, it’s probably easier to sell your old Subaru in the Want Advertiser than it is to unload a Rolls. And while you may be able to sell your match-book collection or pristine 1959 Barbie on eBay, it’s tougher to move a Giacometti bronze.

Further, it’s easier for those of us with one small home to keep it clean (with or without Brazilian cleaners who come every two weeks) than it is to manage a bunch of geographically-dispersed households measured in square yards, not square feet.

‘Ttis pity that our CEO’s made less last year.

Sure, I laud their efforts to scrunch down the disparity between their pay and average peon pay. And this really shows when you compare, say, the guys at the top who took zero in pay, with those whose unemployment compensation ran dry and, thus, may have taken home zero themselves. Talk about a dramatic way to narrow the gap.

See, I knew it! It’s all about they’re trying to make things a little more right, and see whether some of the productivity increases over the last couple of decades can be shared a bit more equitably.

My heroes!