What IF the Hokey-Pokey is what it's all about?

I've always been a fan of both reading the obituaries (a.k.a., the Irish sports pages) and asking the "big questions". (Who am I? Why are we here? Why did it take me nearly fifty years of bra-wearing to get one that fits?)

So, quite naturally, I had to click through on an obit in The New York Times the other day on the death of Robert Degen, one of multiple claimants to the authorship of the "Hokey Pokey".

Degen passed on to the Chicken Dance in the Sky at the age of 104, if not exactly demonstrating that the "Hokey Pokey" keeps you young, then at least showing that putting your left hand in and taking your left hand out doesn't hurt.

It's the provenance of the "Hokey Pokey" that's apparently been shaken all about.

It was popularized in the U.S. in the early 1950's trough a recording by the Ray Anthony Orchestra, as the B side to the "Bunny Hop." While I am quite familiar with the "Bunny Hop" - dah-da-dah-da-dah-da, dah-da-dah-da-dah-dah, dah-da-dah-da-dah-da, hop-hop hop - I am mighty confident in asserting that Side B has long surpassed Side A in terms of usage. Still, "Bunny Hop" and "Hokey Pokey". What an A-B punch.

Anthony's recording was of the Larry LaPrise version, created in the late 1940's by LaPrise and the Ram Trio at Sun Valley, Idaho, as a bit of après ski diversion. Talk about a kinder, gentler time. Think of all those wholesome, rosy cheeked, hot toddy guzzling sophisticates - just in from a schuss on their long wooden skis - hokey-pokeying up a storm in their reindeer sweaters. Fast forward to a junior high mixer of today, where the little darlings are grinding to Kanye West....

But before there was Larry LaPrise, there was Robert Degen, who, in 1944, had copyrighted "The Hokey Pokey Dance."

Degen sued LaPrise, and the case settled out of court, with both parties agreeing to shared ownership.  The rights ended up in Sony's hands, and Degen's son reported that his father received regular royalty payments over the years - using a 2005 check for $47K as a proof point. ($47K worth of hokey-pokey! Note to self: write novelty tune.)

But wait, there's more.

Soldiers stationed in England during WW II cut the rug to the "Hokey Cokey", penned by either songwriter Jimmy Kennedy or bandleader Al Tabor.

All this over the "Hokey Pokey."

And, of course, there's even more.

Just as the origins of the "Hokey Pokey" are muddled, so is the root of that dynamic duo of a name.

It may or may not be derived from "hocus pocus". Which may or may not be derived from "hoc est corpus meum" - words used in the consecration of the host during the Roman Catholic mass.

At considerable risk of limb, I dragged out my Abridged Oxford English Dictionary; dug up a magnifying glass; and looked up the definition of "hocus pocus." Certainly, there's some logic that ties "hocus pocus" - conjuring, magic -  to "hoc est...."  But there's no definitive proof that the term was intended to parody the Catholic mass. None whatsoever.

I didn't look it up when I opened the OED to check out "hocus pocus", and I was absolutely not going to lug the tome out again, but I'm a-guessin' that the OED is silent on hokey-pokey.

There has, however, been some brouhaha of late in Scotland over the use of the "Hokey Pokey" as a taunt used by the fans of the Scots football team, the Rangers, aimed at the fans of the Scots football team Celtic.

In much the same way as Catholics are likely to cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame, so, I suspect Mormons root for BYU and Methodists are fans of Southern Methodist.  For whatever reason - perhaps the name "Celtic" is a giveaway - the Irish, including Scots of Irish lineage, support Celtic.  Many of these fans are nominally Catholic. Many of the fans of Ranger are nominally Protestant.

Fans being fans, they feverishly take up sides. And, apparently when it comes to football chanting, fans in the UK are a bit more creative and demonstrative than just chanting "[Enemy Team's Name Goes Here] suck!" And, unlike in the States, where the rally songs - in Boston, that would be "Shipping up to Boston" and "Sweet Caroline" for the Red Sox - are sung in support of your team, in the UK, they're used against the opposition. And they can be a bit more biting than Yankees fans chanting "Who's your Daddy" to Pedro Martinez, who, many years ago, made the ill-considered decision to say, after a major loss to the Yankees, that they were his Daddy.

On the Glasgow football pitch, Ranger fans started using the "Hokey Pokey" (or was it the "Hokey Cokey"?) to get in the face of Celtic fans.

There is apparently quite a history of fairly mean-spirited, droogish bigotry associated with football in the UK, with fans making fun of the race, creed, and national origin of any and all players who are even a bit other-ish. (Remember, this is the country that gave the world the soccer hooligan.  Hooligan. Hmmmmmm. That sounds like a non-PC word, if ever.) So it's not as ridiculous as it might first appear that some took umbrage to the use of the "Hokey Pokey" as a football chant.

Still, it does seem somewhat ludicrous that, last year, some in the R.C. hierarchy in Scotland toyed with the idea that chanting the "Hokey Pokey" should be outlawed and categorized as a hate crime. (Had they so little else on their plate to contend with?)

I didn't know Robert Degen, but I bet he and Larry LaPrise are both rolling around in their respective graves, putting their right foot in, taking their right foot out...

You know how it goes: if the "Hokey Pokey" is outlawed, only outlaws will do the "Hokey Pokey."

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Is it just me, or does the banner ad for Bob Dylan's Christmas album appear every time I look at a news story in the New York Times? Is this particular to me, an example of the too smart Internet that knows that I both googled on and blogged about said CD? If it's particular to me, note to the Internet: I already bought a copy. Two, in fact: one so I could write about how awful it is first hand, rather than just imagine it in the abstract; the other as a gag gift. So, NYT, cease and desist with the Bob banners already.

And speaking of Bob's "Christmas in the Heart", when I was wrestling with the OED, I accidentally turned my CD player on, and there was Bob croaking  "Little Town of Bethlehem."