Production Numbers

Ever wonder about those big production numbers in the Macy's T-Day Parade, the ones featuring hundreds of smiling, wholesome, blonde teen-aged girls in candy-cane striped Santa's helper costumes?

Me neither.

Last time I watched a Macy's Day Parade it was just to see the Bullwinkle balloon.

Which is not to say that I wouldn't like to see the parade in person some day - preferably from the comfort of my charming pied a terre in the Dakota.  Being in NYC earlier this week, it was hard not to come across reminders that it's a coming. We were staying on the west side, and the bleachers were being set up all over Central Park West.

But the biggest evidence of the parade was the hundreds of smiling, wholesome, blonde teen-aged girls in bright red jackets that said "Performance Team" on the back.

Naturally, I had to ask just who they were, and was told, 'why we're part of the Mike Miller production in the parade.' Which I, of course, heard as an invitation to get me to the Googlery, which I did apace. (By the way, the person I asked - one of the chaperones - used the name 'Mike Miller' with the confidence of one who expected it to be as instantly recognizable as would that of, say, Sarah Palin, Pope Benedict, or Bullwinkle.)

For those not in the know, Mike Miller Special Events brings together 1300 spirited teens, who are divvied into two groups to perform a routine "based on a theme that Macy’s provides."

So Macy's provides the themes, Mike Miller Special Events supplies the dancing bodies for the "prepositioned performance routine in Herald Square," and the girls get a once-in-a lifetime opportunity to see the big city.

Which don't come cheap.

The kids have to get themselves to NYC. There, they're staying at the Hilton where, depending on how much they're willing and able to pay, they're going to be doubling ($2,039), tripling ($1,799), or quadrupling ($2,039) up with fellow hoofers. And unless you're the kid in the triple who gets the roll-away cot, you're going to be sleeping in bed with another girl. Which probably is fine for most kids. This event apparently attracts dance and cheerleading teams, so most of the girls know someone else. But, if you're the lone girl from East Underbite, Oklahoma who qualified, you'll find yourself in a double bed at the Hilton with another loner from West Overshoe, Maine.

This reminds me of a sales kick-off week I went to many years ago in Bermuda.

I was supposed to room - separate beds, thank you - with a pregnant colleague, who was only going to be there for two nights. Her doctor told her that she couldn't fly, so I ended up sharing with a complete stranger, a very nice woman from NYC who snored so loudly that I spent each night sitting on the bathroom floor reading. Fortunately, the sales kick-off events were not so demanding that I didn't have nap time in the afternoons. I still managed to attend most of the prize presentations, including the one where a product line SVP said that next year, his product line would be moving "with all the momentum of an entrenched juggernaut."

And another one talked about his prediction that, unfortunately, he felt that next year would be "nasty, brutish, and short." Apparently, he hadn't gotten the memo that the sales kick-off is supposed to be as upbeat as a Mike Miller production. Which no doubt has a ton more momentum than an entrenched juggernaut.

I'm 100% certain that the week in NYC for the girls is supremely exciting.

I saw New York for the first time my senior year in high school.

I went with my friend Kathy Shea. We stayed at her "career gal" aunt's apartment in the Queens - doubling up on Aunt Mary's living room pull out coach -  and did every touristy thing you can imagine. Not unlike the itinerary for the Mike Miller girls.

Kathy and I, too, went to Radio City Music Hall to see the Rockettes - although neither one of us was dreaming of becoming one. The movie we saw was "How To Succeed in Business" with Robert Morse. I don't know what's playing there now. I hope it's not "2012."

And speaking of how to succeed in business.

This week in New York is quite a production number. And it has to be quite a little money maker - all those kids and their folks quadrupling up in the Hilton for what is not exactly short money. I'm sure the costs aren't trivial - among other things, all the participants get a DVD so they can teach themselves their routine before they get to parade-time - but this event is raking in millions of bucks.

Mike Miller himself has passed on to the Big Production Number in the Sky, but the principals of his company have all been in cheerleading industry for decades. Cheerleading industry. Once again, the infinite economy keeps coming up with new industries - unfortunately, not fast enough to make up for the losses of the old blue collar industries. And, like so many of our businesses these days, not exactly producing something tangible.

Except the exuberance and enthusiasm I saw on the faces of the girls who'll be performing tomorrow in the Macy's Day Parade.

That's worth something.

But I've got to say, I'm going to make sure that I never stay at the Hilton during Thanksgiving week.