Pieces of Bernie

If you're not doing anything tomorrow, pieces of Bernie (and Ruthie) are being auctioned off  through the U.S. Marshals Service by Gaston & Sheehan at the Sheraton Hotel in NYC. Don't worry if you won't be in town - the auction's being simulcast.

I first read about this is The Wall Street Journal , by I didn't want to take their word for it, so I checked out the auction house and the Marshals, themselves. They put together a nicely detailed catalog for their National Forfeited Jewelry Auction, and conveniently pointed out that the Madoff lots are 196-299, and 301-386. I think we could tell from the picture alone that not everything being sold-off "belonged" to Bernie or Ruth.

That stunning cap in the lower right corner comes from an entirely non-Madoff lot. Myself, I'm not a Yankees fan, but if you're a pin-striper with $80-110 of cap money burning a hole in your pocket, the cap is size 7 1/2, and is a special edition (yo!) version. It's made of "black wool/cashmere fabric w/ white gold button top & thread appointments; handmade bullion logo". That would be handmade in Italy. Comes with its own mahogany box.

But the Mets jacket, of course, was Bernie's, and it's kind of too bad he couldn't hang on to it, since those complementary colors sure go with an orange jump suit, no?

To browse the catalog is a little stroll down consumption lane.

Bernie liked watches. Lots of them. Cartier, Rolex, Piaget. And if you can't afford $50-60K to bid on a watch, he also had a lot of watch bands.

Ruthie, I'd say, was more into bracelets and pocketbooks. Especially pocketbooks.

Talk about in came the lady with the alligator purse. And the crocodile purse. And the lizard purse. And the snakeskin purse. Apparently, there's no such thing as too many Vuitton or Hermes bags.

Ruthie's fancy silver, china, and glassware are also up for bid, including 12 individual sterling salt shakers (with salt). There are also more humble little items like her corn on the cob plates, and her ceramic cow creamer. (I have one of those, too! Of course, mine is this goofy purple cow one my mother gave me years ago, and not the cool white version from Williams Sonoma, or Crate and Barrel, or wherever the cool one comes from.)

You'll be able to bid on lots of swell stuff, including a couple of boogie boards with "Madoff" written on them in black marker, Ruthie's golf shoes (size 8, Footjoy), and Bernie's money clip.

You can bid on the Madoffs' his and hers personalized writing paper - comes in the lot with some pens, and a partial (1/5) stack of personalized Post-it notes. Curiously, the 7 Ella Fitzgerald stamps (0.46 euro denomination) aren't in the lot with the paper and pens. They're lumped in with a couple of Ruthie's wallets and a messenger bag. (Wonder if there are any messages still in it!)

There may be TMI contained in the catalog. (Do I need to know - let alone repeat - that Ruthie wore a 28" belt? [All those 32" belts must have gone over heavy sweaters.])

Alas, I won't be going to the auction - nor will I be participating in the simulcast. But I did want to pass the info on to my readers.

And even if you miss the jewelry, etc. auction, you'll still have a chance to get a piece of Bernie, when his yachts - Bull, Sitting Bull, and Little Bull - hit the auction block in Ft. Lauderdale next Tuesday.

Happy bidding!