Occasionally, I enjoy a nice slice of spam, and I'm always on the lookout for "interesting" jobs, so I was delighted to get an e-mail from "Rachel Jean Morris" - sent with warm regards - inviting me to consider becoming a "Web Based Processor" for "streaming video distribution" of an "outstanding instructional video" offering "serious help and solutions for consumers in the midst of this [extreme mortgage] crisis."
Well, my mind just went wild trying to figure out what a Web Based Processor does - especially because I was too scaredy-cat to click through to the URL that Rachel Jean so thoughtfully provided.
We do have to be ever so careful these days, and I was afraid that once I clicked through, I'd be asked for personal and confidential information about myself, and - even though I'm a blogger - I am the private, reclusive type. Or it might ask me to invest a tidy sum in the video so that I could set up shop as a purveyor of said video - and, frankly, I don't want to be a video purveyor, even one that does help the common man or woman who's gotten themselves hooked on the horns of the subprime mortgage crisis. I'm just no darned good at sales.
Or I feared that I might end up in one of those demon sites that take possession of your computer and require you to quickly untether and remove your battery to get out of. I seem to be linking to an inordinate number of those these days, as I find myself in that devil's workshop of googling interesting things in the news about hockey mom embezzlers, and used car lot scam artists, and honeymooners falling overboard on cruise ships.
Now, I know that, given how warm Rachel Jean was in her regard for me that nothing untoward was likely to happen.
Still, how do I know that some nefarious person hasn't seized her g-mail address and started blasting out yucky stuff?
Other than that, I seem to fit the bill for what they're looking for in a Web Based Processor - even though I can't figure out exactly what processors do, given that oh so much is automated these days...
But I do want to pass on the information about what Rachel Jean is looking for, given the "urgent need" her company has - so urgent that they haven't even had time to come up with a company site and e-mail address, and are stumbling along with g-mail. Rachel's looking for folks who:
..are ambitious, are organized and can work without supervision.
I'll admit, I'm a woman of pretty modest ambitions at this point in my career - just looking for interesting work, on interesting products, with interesting people, in interesting companies that are willing to pay an interesting enough amount to get things done.
But I am reasonably organized, and can definitely work without supervision, as evidenced by 2+ years of blogging with absolutely no supervision whatsoever, other than the occasional stray e-mail from a disappointed fan when I forget to post.
But two out of three ain't bad, so I'm guessing that "organized" and "work without supervision" trump "ambitious."
Thus, I'll assume that if you have the majority of the attributes Rachel Jean is looking for:
..you can work today with us.
Plus, "no experience is required," which is a good thing, given that I can't figure out what a Web Based Processor does, so I can't be certain one way or another whether I actually do have experience.
And I like the sound of this:
This is an easy, profitable and very rewarding opportunity
because the work pays very well, the work can be performed from home or anywhere, and the work can fit any schedule.
Certainly, now that I'm carless, work from anywhere is a big plus. I also like things that I can do while watching a Red Sox game, which I'm hoping I could do as a Web Based Processor, since I am a parallel processor of sorts.
There's also an apparently significant side benefit:
...all of our Assistants will have access to the video for their own personal benefit and unlimited viewing.
Okay, I don't have a mortgage, let alone a mortgage in crisis, but I do like to watch videos, and have been known to enjoy certain movies multiple times - although nothing to the degree of my husband, who seems to be able to watch the same movie once a week or so, if he really likes it, where I'm more or less a once-a-year kind of gal. So, maybe if I do become an Assistant - which is, I guess, the same as being a Web Based Processor - I can give the video to Jim for unlimited viewing and personal benefit, although he obviously doesn't have a mortgage in crisis either, at least not one that I'm aware of.
Or course, to demonstrate that I am trustworthy, I would check with Rachel Jean to make sure it's okay to share this video with my husband, given that we are related and use the same TV and video player (which, frankly, I don't know how to use: I just stick with Pay Per View).
Rachel Jean does urge me to "register and see the results."
But, as I explained, much as I would like to promulgate this cause, I really don't want to click on that url, which is why I'm not including it here. I'm sure someone as warmly regarding as Rachel Jean will understand.
Anyway, I'm pretty busy right now, but I will save Rachel Jean's address. You never know when a lucrative position as a Web Based Processor will come in handy. Here it is, in case you need the work right now: rjmcustomerserviceassistant@gmail.com.
I wonder if you get the job whether you need to have this sort of official e-mail address, or can use your own g-mail addresses - just until this company slows down for a minute and gets themselves a website. I do like the sound of "mercustomerserviceassistant", however. Hope it's not taken, in which case I can throw my Confirmation name in there "memrcustomerserviceassistant."
I did try to do some due diligence on this outfit, but all I came up with was a reference on SpamDuJour. My first reaction was, 'gosh, what a cynic' to suspect a warmly regarding person like Rachel Jean Morris of spamming. And my second one, I will admit, was to be a little resentful that this person was offered the opportunity a full month ago! What am I? Some second-rater? Do you really think SpamDuJour would make a better Web Based Processor than I would? Is it because I'm not that ambitious?
Rachel Jean, please, please, please, I'm warmly begging of you: please let me know if you really think I could make it in this position. I'd like your assurances that my invite coming a month later is just a function of last name alphabetical, and not anything personal.
Warm regards,
Maureen Elizabeth Rogers
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